for dad

We walked from the car, listening
To stories of events that happened long ago in the ever-changing
Seasons of my father’s life &
I had never met my uncle but he walked with us
In the almost-autumn.
I thought— “I must write a poem,”
But these thoughts have collected in my head, gathering cobwebs
So
I’ll write them down in fragments—
We drove quickly, late for rehearsal
Each of us staring contemplatively out the window
Watching the long straight road disappear into the distance
Behind us.
I watched the mountains move slowly backwards,
The lace of their trees painting the sky in the distance
& the setting rainclouds spilled the rainbow into the fields
& as we moved towards it, it twisted into the road—
We drove beneath the end.
“We are the pot of gold,” my father said…
& the light of the view fuzzed out their heads as they walked down the aisle,
Grinning from ear to ear
And
I’m to the side but right in the thick of it.
Ribbons and bows cascading from the plate in my hand
—I folded the bows where the light made a seam
Grinning as the pastor ran through the ceremony.
“You can smile, you know,” said my old woodshop teacher, so
I cracked a grin again, all my teeth
And each way up the aisle I grinned the same
((just for show))
&afterward we all ran for sundaes.

Nothing could prepare me for this.

—on the drive home, “paid 200 dollars for an old brown room with a rock for a mattress and a sunlamp in the
bathroom,” said Ginger—
and when they walked down the aisle and handed the bride over
and when they exchanged their vows
and when my friends gathered ‘round them and danced,
I cried, ((the memory makes me teary still))
They included us
Initiating her into our family
Three rings bound together, pink gold
silver gold, and yellow gold
for me for her for my sister
binding her to us as the ring in our father’s hand bound her to him
& it rained afterwards
—I know because I ran through it
in a red dress and vans sneakers, with everyone
Else.
And when they came out and my father saw the
Car he made us take it off
(even the just married sign) we ran behind the car
With the cans, me & him and we banged
‘em like we thought they’d sound
to a couple’a kids at a wedding.

--checkerboxed