Paperboys

Three paperboys sit in break room before delivery time. Mike: fifteen, Al: seventeen, Kevin: eighteen.

Al:
Coffee-

Mike:
Where?

Al:
Nowhere- that’s what I’m saying- no fucking coffee.

Kevin:
Stop complaining- either of you ever hear of a thermos?

Al:
What crawled up you’re ass K?

Kevin:
Fuck you care?

Al:
Because I got to spend thirty more minutes with you before they drop off the rags.

Kevin:
You don’t got to do anything-

Mike:
I could really go for some coffee.

Kevin:
Why don’t you talk with shorty over there- or go outside- smoke a cigarette.

Mike:
You smoke now Al?

Al:
What the fuck you talking about K?

Kevin:
I’m out of here- see you children on the route.

Kevin leaves.

Al:
Guy’s a fucking asshole- thinks because he’s a year older that he’s King fucking Kong.

Mike:
You smoke now Al?

Al:
And where does he think he’s going- least thirty more minutes before Roach brings the rags- what are you saying Mike- no I don’t- I don’t fucking smoke-

Mike:
Then what-

Al:
I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about- and where the fuck is he going?

Mike:
I think I could go for a cigarette- and a cup of coffee.

Al:
You’re a kid- you smoke?

Mike:
I have.

Al:
Bullshit- when’d you smoke?

Mike:
It’s not bullshit- I stole some.

Al:
Now I know you’re bullshitting- they keep smokes behind the counter.

Mike:
I didn’t steal from the store- my grandmother smokes.

Al:
You’re a kid- you trying to kill yourself? I think you’re bullshitting.

Mike:
You want me to bring some tomorrow?

Al:
You could do that? Bullshit.

Mike:
I could try- it’s not bullshit.

Al:
What kind of cigarettes.

Mike:
I don’t know the name- there long and skinny and white- what kind is that?

Al:
Fuck if I know- I wouldn’t touch the things.

Kevin walks back in.

Al:
Where’d you go?

Kevin:
Outside- what do you fucking care- I’m headed to the McDonalds up the block-

Mike:
You getting some coffee?

Kevin:
Yeah- you want some- give me some change and I’ll get you some.

Al:
How much?

Kevin:
You each give me a buck- it’s anymore I’ll help you out.

Mike:
How about some cigarettes?

Al:
I haven’t got any money- you spot me and I’ll pay you back tomorrow?

Kevin:
Mike- what do you want cigarettes for?

Mike:
To smoke them.

Al:
How about it K?

Kevin:
I think he’s too young to smoke- but if he’s got the money I couldn’t give a flying-

Al:
Not that- you could spot me the difference for a small coffee- and I’ll pay you back tomorrow?

Kevin:
Fine- fuck- fine.

Mike:
Kevin- I can come with you?

Kevin:
Yeah- what- why?

Mike:
So I can pick out the smokes I want.

Kevin:
Ah- Mike you’re not serious-

Mike:
Fucking A I’m serious.

Kevin:
Fine- but you’re throwing you’re money and you’re health-

Mike:
Tell it to you’re younger siblings- how about it?

Kevin:
Fuck- fine- alright let’s go- we got twenty before Roach drops- small coffee Al?

Al:
With cream and sugar.

Kevin:
Alright kid- let’s hit the pavement- quick like.

Kevin and Mike start out for the gas station to pick up Mike’s smokes.

Kevin:
You’re going to have to tell me outside.

Mike:
I don’t know what kind I want-

Kevin:
Well you can’t come in- that’s for damn sure.

Mike:
Why not?

Kevin:
Because- fuck- they see you pointing to the smokes you want- then I buy them- that’s called buying for a minor and that’s fucking illegal- and I’m not going to jail for you shorty.

Mike:
Jail my ass-

Kevin:
What kind you want?

Mike:
I don’t know what are the long skinny white ones called?

Kevin:
Those are fairy cigarettes- I’ll get you some good ones- I’ll get you some reds.

Mike:
That sounds cool- is that the kind you smoke?

Kevin:
Fuck- the kind I used to-

Mike:
Was it tough to quit?

Kevin:
Fucking A it was tough-

Mike:
Why’d you quit?

Kevin:
I can’t afford it- physically or money wise- can’t afford anything with this pay- running rags this early- it’s unethical- how fucking early do these old Jews need their news?

Mike:
At least we beat the heat.

Kevin:
That’s you and Al’s route- shorter- I get the first shines of the heat- down by those fucking beach houses.

Mike:
It’s tough-

Kevin:
Can’t make stops either- gotta keep at it- on that fucking rusty bike- and Roach doesn’t give a fuck- Roach doesn’t give a flying-

Mike:
He doesn’t care.

Kevin:
Fucking fascist- pushing us around like that- electric bikes that’s what we need-

Mike:
Electric?

Kevin:
Fucking A- doesn’t make sense- not a fucking lick- maybe we need gas powered.

Mike:
Maybe we should have him like- gas bikes are what we need- fuck him.

They arrive at the gas station.

Kevin:
Throw me a five- I’ll bring you’re reds-

Mike:
I’ll give you six- need a lighter.

Kevin:
Fuck- fine- throw me six.

Kevin takes the six and goes inside- he walks out two minutes later with a pack of Marlboro Reds-and a lighter gives them to Mike.

Kevin:
See how that hits you’re lungs.

Mike:
Why are these- what- strong?

Kevin:
Well- they- lemme tell you first of all that you’re too young- to even be thinking about this shit as far as I’m concerned- these- these here well they’re pretty strong but listen- they’ll condition you’re lungs- toughen them up- in other words- once you get used to smoking these- you can smoke anything- I mean you know- fucking anything.

Mike:
Shit- how do I do it?

Kevin:
Pull out the smoke then take a breath- put that smoke in you’re lungs- you’ll cough at first- but you’ll get used to it.

Mike:
No- I mean light it how do I- because it won’t- burn.

Kevin:
Put it in you’re mouth- suck- then light.

Mike:
Eck- fuck- Christ!

Kevin:
Ha- I remember my first Red- you better have some cough syrup on hand tomorrow morning.

Mike:
Fuck I’ve got to do that every time?

Kevin:
You’ll get used to it- after a while.

Mike:
I can’t do that every time- I can’t see getting used to it.

Kevin:
You will- but you shouldn’t even be sucking that shit anyway- you’re young.

Mike:
And you’re old?

Kevin:
I’m older than you by three-

Mike:
Three whole years.

Kevin:
A lot happens in three years- you have no idea- three whole years is a long fucking time.

Mike:
I’m shaking-

Kevin:
You shouldn’t even be fucking- you know- what’s the word-

Mike:
Sarcastic?

Kevin:
You shouldn’t be scared- you should be fucking prepared.

-end? Let me know-