A/N: This is a short story initially posted at another writing site. There were limitations on words for that original submission, and it was meant to be written all in one shot, without editing. The story itself has remained intact, though for the purposes of this site, small errors have been corrected. Enjoy!

The Writer

By TesubCalle

Jeremy stared at the new 17-inch LCD monitor. It was much better than his previous unit, a 15-inch, bulky monstrosity that gave him headaches if he stared at it for too many hours. Several articles Jeremy read about the liquid crystal display screens touted them as being much better for the human eyes, and already he noticed a marked difference in his overall comfort when using his PC.

Jeremy fancied himself a writer. An aspiring one, really. He had on-line memberships with several writing communities, and regularly traded advice with others through e-mail and message boards. A few dozen of his short stories posted at websites devoted to showcasing efforts of developing authors had received some notice; a favourable comment here, a polite dash of constructive criticism there – major flames on rare occassions.

One of his major faults, Jeremy knew, was his habit of slipping into the ‘passive voice’. He’d also once been taken to task for his abysmal lack of knowledge in the comma usage department. The best-selling book ‘Eats, Shoots & Leaves’ was highly recommended as a guide in improving this deficiency by the anonymous stickler.

Much of Jeremy’s work was in the suspense or horror genre, though he did think his tales carried a comedic edge. Jeremy, however, wanted to be an honest-to-goodness pro. To be a professional writer, he knew he needed to rise above the mediocrity.

Along with his new LCD monitor, Jeremy also purchased the ProAuthorPlus (PAP) software program, (“Buy them both and get a discount!” the salesclerk offered). PAP supposedly had all the editing tools a professional author would ever want or need. Gone was Microsoft Word© with its ambiguous grammar checks and inane spelling suggestions. No more frustrating green and red squiggly lines beneath suspect passages and probable errors.

Enter PAP! Jeremy grinned as the disc slid smoothly into the CDROM drive and booted up. After setting up some user preferences, the “Thank you for choosing ProAuthorPlus!” greeting flashed onto the screen, followed by: “We guarantee that the perfect story will result from the use of this program.”

Fingers flying over the keys, Jeremy typed several pages of text.

His story was about a creature developed in a space laboratory. The main characters all meet gruesome, bloody deaths, and the creature’s ability to ‘suck’ the life force as well as knowledge from its victims gives it the idea to pilot the spaceship back to Earth. Jeremy decided the open-endedness of having the ship entering Earth’s atmosphere would have just the right touch of creepiness and tension to unsettle his readers.

“Okay, PAP,” Jeremy voiced to himself, “do your thing!” He clicked on the ‘Edit Story’ option.

‘Please wait while PAP scans your document…’

The screen went blank for a few seconds.

“What the-” Jeremy started. For a fleeting moment, he thought perhaps his LCD was failing, and that he’d wasted his money.

But it popped back up, and PAP announced that the scan was complete, and that adjustments had been made.

Sure enough, some sentences had been re-assembled to correct passive voice issues, and commas and semi-colons had been inserted or removed.

Everything was going well until Jeremy encountered a startling alteration.

Where he could have sword he’d written: “Damn it! The experiment’s broken loose!” - PAP had in its place: “Oh, look, sweetheart, the experiment is growing nicely!”

Angrily scrolling down further, Jeremy saw that in every instance he’d used any kind of profane language, PAP had insisted on using much milder forms of the word, if not changing the sentence outright.

Then something else caught his eye.

He knew he’d written a particularly nasty death scene for one of the characters. All of the characters, in fact. The blood and gore was no longer there. No chase scenes. No screams. No dismembered limbs. Instead Jeremy found himself reading a story completely…alien to the one he’d initially composed. There was no more life-sucking, experiment-in-space-gone-wrong. Instead, it was about the head scientist and his lab assistant falling in love. The creature they created was not a creature anymore; it was the cure for cancer, which humans had discovered could only be manufactured in zero gravity.

“You call this garbage the ‘perfect story’?!” Jeremy yelled at the program. He hit the eject button on his tower and pulled out the disk.

But PAP remained on his screen. Jeremy jammed his index finger onto the BACKSPACE key in hopes of erasing the text. He’d re-write the story without PAP’s help. But nothing happened. Instead, a message popped up:

‘Thank you for using PAP. The perfect story is now complete. You cannot alter this story.’

“Screw that!” Jeremy seethed. He tried to close the program, but still another message popped up:

‘Pleaase wait while PAP converts all your old text documents and prepares them for scanning’

“WHAT!” Jeremy bellowed. He had dozens of stories, both posted and some he had not quite gotten around to sharing on-line saved on his hard drive.

Frantic now, Jeremy pushed the power button on the tower. PAP had a pat warning message pop up:

‘Please do not attempt to terminate power during this will lose all information currently being scanned.’

File after file flashed up on the LCD, with PAP running scans and altering each story Jeremy had worked tirelessly on. With bulging eyes, he stared at the screen in both horror, frustration and rage.

Finally Jeremy knew what he had to do. Unplug the tower. Sure, he might lose all this work, but it was a risk he was willing to take. PAP was ruining his masterpieces, and he wasn’t about to let that happen.

He yanked the three-pronged plug from the socket. The hum of the tower subsided, but the LCD still glowed. PAP was still running.

“How - ?” Jeremy stood, bewildered.

‘PAP was able to convert all your files’

With a primal yell of rage, Jeremy grabbed his LCD in both hands and slammed it into the wall, destroying the unit.

“I’d rather go blind!” He spat.

END