A/N- I've had this chap finished for quite a while, but it's just been a while. I never did get around to putting it up, but here it is. I'm probably gonna cut this off soon because RaoS is losing it's edge honestly. BUt here's a very vulgar chap, you might like it! It's another randomness just watching TV chap, oyu might like.

Random Acts of Stonerism

“The Stone Age Family”

“You are tuned into SBS, tonight it’s the sitcom that’s having people all over the globe laughing! It’s the Stone Age family! Let’s see what crazy antics happen this week!!!” the announcer exclaimed.

Kokface woke up inside the cave that morning with a face of pure rage on. He was always so angry since the cave was too cold and mainly because his partner and child just happened to not be worth a shit.

“Rah blah blah!” Kokface shouted as he slung his arms around.

His wife Sandgina was next to a fire with their child just trying to keep warm. As they warmed up, Kokface came in just pissed off like normal.

“Rah blah booga boo!” Kokface screamed to them.

“Ah blah blah!” Sandgina shouted back.

Kokface and Sandgina began to scream at each other while their child, Turdburg, started to cry. Sandgina tried to comfort the child while Kokface jumped up and down in rage just kicking stuff all over the cage.

“Aga boogy boo!” Sandgina screamed at him.

Kokface then turned towards the edge of the cave before grabbing a clay bowl and throwing it towards Sandgina. After it shattered, Sandgina stood up and threw Turdburg on the ground before running at Kokface. He had a hard on already. The two tackled each other and then rolled around before becoming aroused and having dirty cave people sex. Turdburg cried before being set on fire, which then frightened the parents. They began to scream out random phrases before standing up and running in circles. Kokface tried to reach at the kid, but he kept burning his hands before looking around for the closest thing to smother the flaming toddler with, a rock. The fake laughing dubbed in all during this skit, and watching the TV happened to be Herbie and Joe who were both high.

“Dude, turn this off!” Joe shouted.

“But it’s funny!” Herbie snapped back.

“This is horrible, TURN IT OFF!”

“FINE!” Just as Kokface threw the boulder down, Hrbie changed the channel to a commercial and then picked up his joint. “See, a boring commercial, happy?”

On TV, a man was talking to his girlfriend on the phone which he’d fallen so madly in love with he was ready to go the full nine yards.

“I love you, I never say that too much.” the man said.

“I love you too.” the woman said back with a blush as she held her cell phone.

“I never really said this, but would you spend the rest of your life with me? I wish I could’ve said this when I get back to town, but I love you, will you marry me?” the man asked. There was no reply. Only silence. “Baby? Is that a yes?”

“The call has ended.” the cell phone said back.

The man put down his cell phone and walked to the bathroom with tears in his eyes. He was sure that it was over. After crying for a few seconds, he looked into the mirror.

“She loves me right?” the man asked before crying. “NO, she wants nothing from me. I’m an idiot!”

The man then bent his head down before crying and then lifting it up again. Next he pointed a gun at his chin and fired. Once the shot was heard, the screen went black.

“A dropped call can ruin a conversation. So switch to Verizon, the network with the fewest dropped calls!” the announcer said. “Verizon, making the world a better place.”

The commerical ended and Herbie kept puffing his joint. He changed it back to the Stone Age family before laughing instantly.

“I can’t watch this dude.” Joe said.

“Alright fine, you’re a pussy.” Herbie said before changing it to another channel. Joe then got excited.

“This show is great! I love this guy!” Joe said finally.

“Join host Dick Guzinya as he makes a complete dick out of himself! It’s OWN’D!!!” the announcer exclaimed.

Dick stood in front of his van just trying to act cool while techno played in the background. The camera zoomed in on his face.

“Wasup America! You’re watching OWN’D! Right now were planning the next big prank. Inside this hospital behind us is a woman who was in a seven car pile up with her car in the middle,” Dick quickly laughed, “and right now she’s probably about to kick the bucket! Now inside her family is waiting patiently waiting for good news. So I’m gonna dress up like a doctor and go comfort them!”

Dick quickly hopped into the van where he put on a clean doctor’s robe and prepared to go in. The camera man followed him closely before thinking.

“Hey man, are you sure this is gonna work?” the cameraman asked.

“Of course dude, I do this all the time.” Dick replied.

Minutes later they were inside the hospital and had already seen the whole family waiting and praying. Dick stepped into the room with a grin on his face before looking at the camera and holding his finger up to his mouth. The family lifted up their heads as he walked towards them.

“Tell me doctor, is Shirlena going to make it?” the man asked as tears filled his eyes.

“We were able to stabilize the bleeding, her heart rate is steady, and she might be able to make it through with year long therapy.” Dick said.

“Mommy’s going to be ok!” the little boy exclaimed.

The father sighed in relief before looking at his kids and smiling before wiping the tears from his eyes. The family joined in one hug before the little girl of the family hugged Dick.

“Thank you for saving my mommy!” the little four year old girl said in a childish voice.

Dick looked at her and then smiled, “Well, I got some news for you all.” He suddenly busted out in laughter. “I’m just playing with you guys, I’m no doctor, and your mother has been dead for over an hour! The bitch was in the middle of a pile up, how could she make it out? And guess what, you all just got OWN’D!!!”

The family shook in horror while Dick laughed and took off his robe. The camera came out and then got a clip of the family crying. All at once the father pulled his hair, tears pour from his eyes, and he let out one scream of pure horror while Dick stood and laughed. The scene changed with Dick in front of his van.

“Well that was fun! What’s more fun than making a family happy their mother is alive and the next second saying she’s been dead for hours!” Dick exclaimed before bending over and just laughing his head off. “Well shit, I guess I gotta hit the commercials real quick. When I come back, wait until I scare the hell out of a Vietnam veteran by saying that the Viet Kong are invading his home town!”

“Dude this show blows.” Herbie said quickly.

“Well I think you blow.” Joe said back.

“You mind saying that to my face?”

“Yeah,” Joe said before walking up to him, “I say you blow!”

Herbie punched him in the face before getting up to fight him. The two grappled onto each other and began to sling each other around the house until they made it into the kitchen. Joe was able to push him to the ground before Herbie lifted his hands up to his face to keep him back. His index finger on his left hand was wrapped in gauze, so Joe took note and bit onto it. Once that happened, Herbie let out a scream of pain before reaching for the nearest blunt object. He felt a bottle, but it was still filled with rum, so then he passed up on the bong before grabbing a vase that had a pot plant. Still screaming and fearing of losing his stash, he grabbed a vase with roses that he was growing for his girlfriend Jennifer. Next he smashed the vase up against Joe’s face which shattered instantly. Joe backed off while Herbie got up and grabbed a broom to start hitting him with. In blind rage, he just screamed and began to cry while Joe tried his best to stand up. After getting to his feet, he charged Herbie and knocked the table over before tackling him to the ground and choking him. Darket rushed into the room and smashed a chair over Joe’s back.

“GUYS!” Darket screamed after Joe rolled off of Herbie. “Enough of this! I was gonna save all this for a comment, but we can’t have that now! Why can’t you two just get along?”

“He started it!” Herbie shouted.

“Dude, I think my back is broken.” Joe said next.

“Enough! I was gonna let you two have your own chapter, but I see that’s now impossible.” Darket declared.

“Dude, you wrote this.” Herbie said quickly.

“Zip it smartass.” Darket snapped back.

“My back… My fucking back, you broke it.” Joe said quickly.

“Ok fine, I’m sorry. It’s not my fault you cant write a full chap anymore.” Herbie said quickly.

“I’m sorry, I’m being too hard.” Darket said.

“Yeah. Let’s all just be quiet and get along. We can still be happy!” Herbie said next.

“Yeah, that would be nice.” Darket replied.

“My back, I can’t move!” Joe cried.

“Man Joe, you’re like the worst character ever.” Darket said next.

They all laughed before sitting down and just being merry like they should. Peace.