Embrace Your Fate

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm falling
- Savin' Me by Nickleback

I can imagine how beautiful your wings must have been. I imagine they must have been so big with brilliant white feathers. I imagine you had the proudest wings of all. Am I right? For your sake, I hope I am.

What happened? That is a question I ask myself all too often when I think about you. And it's a question I fear to know the answer to. I can only imagine what had to happen for your wings to be ripped from your back only to be replaced with those torn and unholy apendages.

When you fell, I can imagine how it must have hurt. To have your wings torn from your back, you lose part of your soul and your tarnished heart must have broken a thousand times over. To have your wings replaced by a broken pair, it crushes you and your sanity must have shattered in a moment's notice. And then, when Paradise sent you on your way, down to a mortal coil that was worse than Hell, I can barely imagine what it must have been like to feel your immortality slip away.

I'm taking a guess, I'm going to say you fell at the beginning of a season's change. What was it like, to feel the Earth around you dying? To feel a human heart breaking with every beat? To feel your body growing weaker with every breath your broken hybrid body took? How long did it take before everything inside died and you were but a heretic shell of torn flesh and brittle bones?

On Earth, did you sit back and wonder how many angels had earned their wings since yours had been ripped from your back? I'm sure you must have and I'm sure the thought must have eaten you alive. They did nothing to deserve their wings. They took advantage of what they were given, what you had wanted so very much.

Heaven is such a shameful and lowly place. Paradise is not all that it's made out to be and those that dwell within the pearly gates are not as angelic as they appear. Rules are not unbreakable, they do bend. I imagine you bent the rules and that is why you were branded a heresy of sorts. Oh, angel, no one deserves to fall the way you did.

Is that why you're always looking to the sky? Do you long for a world that neglected you? Or is it you long to make Heaven pay its dues? Anything to ease your broken heart, I suppose.

I do not mean to pry into such private affairs, especially ones I barely understand but I do it without a second thought. Because you're always on my mind for some reason or another. Because I love you and I want to understand you. I can't give you back your wings and I can't build you a stairway to Heaven; I can't rend the wings from the angels backs and send them into Hell's icy depths. I can only try to understand what it is you've gone through and offer you another tarnished soul to confide in. I know, it's not much when one stops to think about it, but it's all that I can offer you.

I have one final thought I must voice before I end this. For what it's worth, fallen one, Heaven did the right thing. Heaven should have cast you out sooner, because Heaven is not worthy of a soul like yours. I hope with everything I am that one day you will stop reaching for the sky, that one day you will embrace the Earth the way it has embraced you.

-End