title: Apathy and Guilt Make pleasant Roommates
warnings&contents: hard to understand, from what people tell me.

a/n- this is the result of being bored in AP English III.

So the wait’s nearly over and you can hardly wait. The way the sun dies around you makes you giddy, makes you anxious. You’re ready to leave and ready to fall, ready to break and ready to mend. Life is rushing at you fast- full length tackle- and you sit with your hands spread out, wandering if the impact will crush you to powdery white glitter.

You can feel the end on your lips when you kiss the flowers goodbye. You can taste the end on your fingers as your brush past the pile of bones that’s the remains of your memories. You think of the pure white squares of the kitchen floor tile, and the frantically scrubbed wood panels of the living room wall.

The blood wasn’t easy to get out, was it? You had to scrub and scrub, had to get down to your hands and knees, had to dirty yourself. You had to cry those salty tears and mutter those angry words because if you made silence, the noise of it would kill you. The red stains on your stiff denim jeans are getting hard and you wish that those yellow daisies in your front hall vase had been plastic so you could have kept them forever. You wish clean was dirty and dirty was clean, so you could destroy those beautiful pictures that crowd around your mind, and never have to touch the sharp-glass edges that remain.

You can hear them now, and you dream it’s your end. And you smile because this is the only dream you know that will come true.