Author: SympleSymon PM
Beating the snot out of sanity and rational thought from the word 'PILAF'. This, and plenty of random-assed fantasy adventure! It's pandalicious!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Parody/Fantasy - Words: 718 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10-06-06 - id: 2258146
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The spiky plant flew from the ninja's gloved hands, cracking the giant rat across from him and his allies with a resounding thump!
Giant Rat: -12HP (24HP left)
"Dude, WTF?" cried the armoured warrior by his left-hand side, throwing up his gauntleted hands in exasperation. "What the heck was that?"
"Banzai Cacti," the black-clad figure responded coolly, turning on his partner. "It Level Two Ninja Spell! Veeery powerful, plenty ow-ow!"
"Dude, it was in a freakin' pot! You conjured a potted plant, man!"
"Plenty ow-ow, I say!"
"Whatever…how come it isn't dead, then, hmmm?"
"Hmmm…rat from sewers, yes? Then hard-headed from nutting all the mutant crocodiles, it must be, yes!" the ninja replied quickly, thinking on the spot.
"Huh, Riiiight…waste of 24MP, if you ask me!"
"No one ask you!" snapped the squeaky-voiced assassin defensively. "Because…because you infested with Brain Termites! HAH!"
"WTF?! Dude, you can't be seri –"
"But you're the idio –"
"Gods! You're impossi –"
"Ah-hem," a clear, sagely voice cleared its throat, drawing the squabbling duo's attention to the robed mage on the other side of the knight. "When thou art quite finished! Leon, it is thy turn to strike the foul beast."
The Giant Rat, who had been quietly drinking a cup of tea and smoking a cigar whilst it awaiting its own turn, looked up from its copy of The Daily Mana, a look of distaste on its gruesome features. "Oh, really!" it exclaimed angrily. "Just because I'm a dirty, stinking rodent that has more diseases than the local Children's Ward does not mean I don't have feelings – just ask you friend there," it added, pointing a claw at the ninja. "He knows I have feelings. He knocked 'em senseless just a moment ago!"
"HAH!" the ninja did a little, happy jig that all ninjas may well do if a) they were alone and – b) insane. "Banzai Cacti effective! Plenty ow-ow, just like me said!"
"Grrr!" fuming, Leon the Knight attacked...
Oki: -19 HP (41 HP left)
"…Leon," murmured the mage slowly. "You do know that you just struck our ninja ally, hmmm?"
"Well, he asked for it!"
"Did no such thing!" bawled Oki the ninja, nursing his sore head. "'Leon, hit me!' THAT would be asking for –"
Oki: -18HP (23HP left)
"Whaddaya know?" Leon remarked slyly. "My Attack Speed increased for that one turn. What a surprise…"
"Dishonourable metal monkey!" the ninja raged, unsheathing his own sword. "You die now! I gut you like pickled koala! I chop you up into beaver sushi!"
"Dude, sushi's fish."
"I AM ALLERGIC TO FISH!!!"
"If you're both quite finished," sighed the mage, arms spread wide. "I do believe it is now my turn…"
"Your mother was a chinchilla!" the mage roared as he hurled a bolt of static electricity at the rodent.
Giant Rat: -23HP (1HP left)
Giant Rat is confused!
"But…but…but that can't be!" wailed the rat, devastated.
"My turn!" squeaked Oki excitedly, his hands drawing back to conjure…
Three long, sharp sticks of dried spaghetti shot out from between his fingers, one striking the rat's nose whilst the other two entered its ears.
Giant Rat: -6HP, 3HP & 5HP (-13HP left)
Giant Rat has been defeated!
"PWN'D…" mumbled the rat as it collapsed to the ground, dead.
Oki – killing blow! - 14 Exp
Leon - 10 Exp
Derik - 11 Exp
Oki levelled up! 1 Strength, 2 Stealth, 1 Speed, 3 Cookery!
"…WTF?" gaped the knight, outraged he hadn't levelled too. "Cookery?!"
"You think those noodles come out of thin air?" Oki retorted.
"Not exactly the place I would've guessed…"
A/N: Yeah, this was basically what comes from me having an overwhelming urge to write (and write nonsense, at that) but not have any idea what to update...so, I may or may not update this, it all depends if I'm ever stuck on the plots of any of my other stories!
Hope you all liked this! And be sure to check out the other members of aka Meteor Infinity at NOW with links!
SympleSymon (aka Stargazer)