Outpouring

Releasing of tension

Of everything

Everything that hurts

That bleeds

A gash across my soul

Outpouring of fouled blood

Soiled

Tainted

Leave me

Leave me

Let me go

I won’t be taken like this I won’t I won’t I won’t

I can’t

This can’t be happening to me

But still it pours

The putrid stream soiling my hands

Coating me in filth

And I know it is mine

I know why this is

I know

I know I did it

But still it gushes forth

Out of the gaping wound in my spirit

Splashes onto my shoes, the floor

And the stains will never come out

And it doesn’t matter that only I can see them

They are real

They are there

There is here

And there will always be right here

Right inside of me

Where the wound is

Where the outpouring flows from

My tainted soul

My unclean being

Coated with the filth of lies and lies

Lies upon lies

No one knows me for who I am

And I hide behind this mask of filth

And even as I gag at the putrescence flowing from within me

I grasp it closer around me

It is my shield

It is my shelter

It is my mask

I can hide here

I am safe here

But no one can ever see the real me

The me behind this mask of filth

Because the filth is what they want.

Not me.