& charlie pulled the trigger

he's standing there, quietly
with his finger on the trigger
all he sees is the monster
you've become.

you didn't mean to be this way
(but you know you can't
escape it because you'll
never be able to get rid
of this filthy addiction)

you're standing there
with your eyes glued to
your feet because you're
too ashamed to look him
in the eye (afraid he might
hate you even more because
this is all your fault and that's
why you hide your face)

he's breathing hard, he's more
scared than you, and for once
blood is running down his arms.

"make it stop"
you plead just above a whisper as
your voice begins to break and your eyes
begin to cry for the first time in months.

he questions what you said
while he still has the gun
pointed at you.

still keeping your eyes away
from his, you uncover your
scars (if you only knew that
they are beautiful and
don't deserve to be a
secret and hidden like
dirt)

"make it stop"
you say it again, as tears
freely fall and for once
you do nothing to stop them.

"i hate you so much
it hurts" you say almost
violently, as your fists
begin to tremble (but
you know that everything
you said was an utter and
completelie)

as each second passes
you feel yourself
breaking even more.

you plead over and over
for him to end it, but he
just stands there.

"why"
is all he asks.

you say that you need it to end
that you want it to, that you're
weak and tired of all this.
this is all you want.

(little did you know that
you were poisoning his
mind with pity)

"...and i loathe you"
you finish

you raise your chin
to finally look him in the eyes.

you think you see
him blink away tears
(but you know he'd
never cry tears
for ((worthless)) you)

"i love you"
he says

& charlie pulled the trigger

10/10/06

author's note: i'm not sure where this came from...but the 'pulled the trigger' thing came from a flyleaf song called 'Cassie'. so this is the second piece i’ve posted that is in second person...lemme know what you think, please.