Empty, cold and numb

I should have seen this, God I'm so dumb,

Why did I really believe,

In anything my head could conceive,

Why does this hurt so bad,

Why does it feel like I lost something I never had,

Something that only existed in my head,

Because it was never something that was said,

Words that were never wrote,

I can't sing the right note,

My voice is less cheerful,

And every word I say is careful,

I avoid the subject in casual conversation,

In the back of mind I wait for the invitation,

To share what I really feel,

I need to make this real,

I need to figure this out,

To figure out what I'm going to be about,

It's eating me alive from the inside,

That I thought you would be by my side.