A one-shot I wrote in English today. We were supposed to write the opening paragraph, I started writing and couldn’t stop. Review and let me know what you think, i want to know whether to use it for assesment or not. Ta :D

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The familiar notes of the old music box had the same effect it always had on her. Her heart seemed to clench in her chest, and hot tears sprang to her eyes.

He had given the music box to her, on her sixteenth birthday. “The music is beautiful, just like you.” That’s what he had said. Nobody had ever called her beautiful before then. It was an incredibly romantic gesture, one she would never forget.

She had loved him, more than she ever thought it possible to love another. She had loved him so much it physically hurt sometimes. That’s why she could never forgive him for leaving her.

She recalled the exact moment she had heard the news. In the insufferably warm family room at the hospital, the handsome young doctor spoke the words she never wanted to hear.

“I’m sorry, he didn’t make it.”

In that one sentence, her whole world shattered, and there was nobody to pick up the pieces.

He was her everything, her reason to live. Before she met him, she was nothing. Just another kid from a broken home on a downward spiral. Now, living without him she was nothing once more.

He had saved her, both literally and figuratively. The first time had been the literal one. She had overdosed, and was lying out on the street. He found her, a complete stranger, and taken her to the hospital. While she had her stomach pumped, he waited all night.

She pulled through, and then he saved her in the figurative sense. He put a stop to all of her self destructive behaviour. He had saved her in every way a person could be saved.

They say love conquers all, and in this case it was true.

His death had been an accident, but she hated him for it. How dare he save her, when he couldn’t save himself?

How dare he leave her in the cold world, while he got to be free? How could he leave her behind, forced to go on as if he never existed?

She had nothing anymore. She was nothing.

This time, she’d do it properly. Somewhere where no-one would find her – at least, not until it was too late.

Last time, she had been careless. She hadn’t taken enough pills, and she’d taken them too fast.

In a way, she was glad that had failed, because it brought him to her. In another, she wished it had worked, because then she wouldn’t have had to go through all this pain.

“It is far better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”

Whoever said that didn’t know what they were talking about. She had loved and lost, and it had hurt like hell.

This time she was going to do it right. The music box was still playing in the background; she could barely hear it over the thumping of her heart.

The note she had written lay on the floor beside her. It was only three words, but those three words said everything she wanted.

'Because of you.'

She winced as the cold metal touched her temple. She squeezed her eyes shut tight as she pulled the trigger.

The music box played on, its beautifully haunting melody disguising the ugliness the room had just witnessed.