Chapter 5

“Shrooms… Oh goody, I love shrooms. I remember smoking a jay laced with some once, but I don’t remember the effects that much. Hence, that’s why I always call shrooms a fun drug. Come on, fun names for them are boomer, brooms, caps, copper tops, eminems, magic mushrooms, goombas, goomers, zooms, zoomers, and moon children. There are more terms, but I can’t fuckin’ remember them! I always wondered where I could find the things at, but after learning where the most powerful come from, I kinda wondered if it was really worth eating them.”

Chase had led them through the woods with the flashlight off in order to avoid attracting any attention from cops who happened to be driving down the road. Joe kept his hands up in front of his eyes as he moved through the branches. He was pretty stoned too, so at the moment he felt right at peace with nature. Luke was getting a kick out of it since he was really big on the hippie movement. Transcendentalism was his bag.

“You sure you know where we are going?” Luke asked as he stepped over a log.

“Hey man, can these mushrooms on the trees work?” Joe asked quickly after seeing a patch of shrooms growing on a tree stump.

“They work, but they’re fairly weak. You can grab them if you want, but personally I’d save some bag space for the real deal!” Chase exclaimed.

“I hope it’s worth the walk. I’m pretty fucking exhausted man. I’ve school in the morning.” Joe said while trying to keep up in the group.

“Ah dude, a true stoner can stay up till 12 and get through school. I’m surprised you two are still in. I’ve done graduated.” Chase said.

“Oh, I didn’t know that. How old are you?” Joe asked again.

“I’m 24. I’ve been able do lots of shit man. I’ve only had one job and that’s just a rare one. It’s called dealing. I can support myself because I know many hookups man.” Chase said. “I can get us some hash sometime if you want.”

“I got some.” Luke said.

“Real hash?” Chase asked as he stopped and turned.

“Christ, we just got done smoking the shit.” Luke replied.

“NO, hash is a different substance. Many just call dope hash because they either don’t know that its hash or they just like the word. We’ve gotta get hash sometime.” Chase said before moving on.

After getting past the thickest of the brush, Chase turned on his flash light and shined it towards the open patch. Joe and Luke stepped out just as the light touched about half an acre worth of cow shit.

“Jackpot.” Chase said as he walked forwards.

“Jackpot? Looks like a bunch of shit.” Luke said after getting a glance of the area.

“It’s not the shit that matters, this shit holds some of the coolest shit ever.”

“What that a song lyric?”

“No, but maybe we should use it.”

“We’ll call it shroom hunter. It’ll be the best fucking song ever.”

“Yeah man!” Joe exclaimed with a laugh.

Chase pulled out his large plastic baggie and started to pick off a bunch of mushrooms growing on top of the cow shit. After getting a good handful he took a whiff and then rolled his eyes back.

“So shrooms grow on cow shit?” Joe asked after looking around.

“It may be nasty, but damn it man this is some hard fucking cash.” Chase replied after picking a good amount of shrooms off. “See this? Alone this is worth 200 dollars. Personally I think farmers could make an investment in this stuff and make millions. People like shrooms.”

“How long does it take to dry them out?”

“Properly it should take a day. But letting them dry out over night still has the same effect.”

“Dude, but the stuff has been growing on cow shit.” Luke said formally.

“So? What’s your point?” Chase asked.

“Nothing. Man were gonna get to eat some fucking shrooms!” Luke exclaimed.

“It’s gonna rock, I know.” Joe said.

In just ten minutes they had a few pounds worth. Chase got two nice fat sacks and was on the way to filling up a third. After getting enough, a loud voice boomed out from the dirt road up ahead. Two cops had stepped out of their vehicle and walked towards them.

“What are you boys doing out here this late?” asked one of the cops.

“We’re just lookin’.” Chase replied casually as he dropped the bags onto the ground behind him.

“Pretty odd to see you out here this late. What are you looking for?”

“I was just trying to find the tractor keys. My dad was out here last night drinking and he tried to test his throwing arm. Instead of using a rock he threw the keys.”

“Hey man, I think I found them!” Luke exclaimed to go with the story. “Shine the light over this way.”

“You boys aren’t doing anything illegal are you? It’s a school night.” The cop asked again.

“If trying to find your tractor keys are illegal, then I guess I’m guilty as charged.” Chase replied smoothly.

“No, it’s legal. You boys need to be careful. There are poachers out here and it’s dangerous to look for stuff. They might think you’re a deer or something.”

“We’ll be fine. We got the keys, so I guess we got nothing to worry about.”

“Ok, you boys be careful now.”

“You too officer.”

The two cops left. Joe had stood still in fear the whole time just amazed that they got out of that one. Chase picked his bags up, turned off the flashlight, and started to walk towards the woods.

“Holy shit man. Am I severely blasted or did you just save us from being busted?” Joe asked.

“Dude, I’ve got a silver tongue with cops. Hell, I’ve been doing questionable illegal activities since age 12. I know what I’m doing.” Chase replied.

“Fuck! Man, we need to hang out more often!”

“Yeah man. Well let’s get back to the cabin and sort this out and then we can go home. You two’ll get the chance to do some shrooms at school tomorrow. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“I don’t even think we’ll have to worry about being sober tomorrow.” Luke said with a laugh.

“Hey Chase, did you ever walk into school stoned? Wait that sounded fucking stupid.” Joe said.

“Yeah man, I did it every day. Name a drug and I’ve probably done it at school. How many joints do you smoke before going into school?” Chase asked as they walked through the woods.

“Since we get up late we usually smoke two.” Joe said as he walked through.

“I used to smoke ten back to back before school. Start waking up earlier. How many do you smoke during school?”

“At least one before every period. And if the welding teacher isn’t around we’d fire up a few in the welding booths.”

“Welding booths? Well I guess that works. Try to smoke what you can. Whatever works must do. Fuck, I’d always had an excuse to go toke. Sometimes I’d skip lunch and smoke a few before class starts.”

“Skipping lunch? Hey Joe that sounds pretty cool, we need to try that some time.” Luke said.

“Yeah.” Joe said before stepping over a log.