I For An Eye

Written By:
Shadow “Kite” Kitsune

It’s tough being a homosexual in America these days. Maybe even in the world in general. While some other cultures may openly accept and embrace it more than American society does, it still doesn’t make it any easier, neither for society or homosexuals themselves. Being a homosexual myself, I can relate completely to the idea that being gay isn’t easy, especially when you’re young, and are so susceptible to the beliefs of your friends and family, as well as society itself.

While most tend to believe that homosexuality isn’t an inborn, natural occurrence, that it’s simply a choice or state of mind. While it may be the case in some gays, it simply is not the case with me. You see, from the time I was a little child, growing up, being raised by both my mother and father, I always felt.... different. I always seemed to be more interested in other boys, instead of little girls. While it’s natural for small children not to be attracted to girls in that way that early in life, it has always been odd for me to feel these things for members of the same sex as I am. All through life, I’ve felt different, separated from the rest of the group. Be it school, friends, or even family– I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong.

But as I entered middle school, I became increasingly more aware of my sexual orientation. As I, and my fellow classmates began entering puberty, hormones were beginning to rage. Before long, I started getting curious, interested. Since I was still a timid, stupid little middle school student, I wasn’t about to reveal my ‘secret’ to anybody, since at that time I still wasn’t sure about anything. It wasn’t until I entered high school that I started to come to terms with my sexuality, and begin to accept it. By eleventh grade, I had become more open about it than I could ever possibly hope to be. Okay, well, maybe not more than I could possibly hope to be. My parents still don’t know (or if they do, they put up a very nice facade), no one in my family knows, and the only people that know are close, personal friends, and of course, people on the internet.

The fear of telling family or friends that you’re gay is probably one of the hardest things a person could ever have to do. Depending on their family’s beliefs, it can be a very hard fact to take knowing that their son or daughter is homosexual. In fact, some families can be torn apart by it. That alone could be the reason most homosexuals remain ‘in the closet’ about it for so long. Most gays feel that they’re doing wrong by being homosexual, that they should be able to change their ways and stop being that way. But the simple fact is- it’s not that easy.

Being gay is not just a choice you randomly decide upon when you wake up in the morning. While most tend to think that way, it’s an asinine belief that should be cast aside at once. Being homosexual is a natural, inborn phenomenon that is present in an individual all their life. Being gay is like having blonde hair, or blue eyes, or a dark skin tone, or even being left handed. You can’t choose any of those things, same way that you can’t choose who your parents are or who your family is. While there may not be any conclusive scientific proof that homosexuality is present from the time of birth, it still should be a possibility that should not be ignored.

I can’t change what I am. I can’t choose not to be gay. If I could, then I definitely would. But I can’t. Why? Because it’s natural. Guys tickle my fancy far more than any female could, and that’s a fact I’ve come to accept. Although I may have yet to completely face myself, embrace what I am, and confess the truth to those I love so dearly, I know that one day I’ll be able to stand up and look them in the eye, and proudly admit that I’m gay, and not feel ashamed for what I am. While society may not ever be able to accept homosexuality for what it is, it’s important not to let fear or stereotypes cloud one’s judgment and discriminate against gays for being who they are. As a society that’s supposedly so highly advanced from the rest of the world, is it too much to ask that homosexuality stop being treated like a disease that needs to be cured, and just accept it for what it is?