Chapter 12: Not so different after all

April 1988

“How was work?”

“It sucked. I think those Canadians invented the Metric system just to drive me insane,” Jhon sighed, flopping down beside me on the couch.

“Huh, you think you have it bad – I keep getting nicked for my spelling,” I replied. “Color does not need a ‘u’.”

“And the accents. There’s this one guy I work with who has a stronger accent than most Texans.”

“What’s his name?” I asked, frowning at my homework.

“I don’t know. I think it’s another Canadian joke or something.” Jhon shrugged. “Every time I ask they always tell me ‘Ask him’.”

“Ask him? So, did you ask him?” I asked and Jhon nodded.

“Yeah. He finally spelled it for me,” Jhon sighed. “I swear, they may have invented the entire culture just to confuse Americans.”

“Well, a few more months and you can take off south again,” I replied with a shrug.

“You goin’ to survive on your own?” he asked and I shrugged.

“I’ve got time to put off thinking about that. Until then, we’re going to be the brunt of a lot of jokes.”

“Yippee. Can’t wait…”

November 1991

“Sam’s shack of love. How may I help you?”

I shook my head and adjusted the receiver of the Denver airport payphone a little higher so I could hear better. I glanced at the grumpy looking lady in line for the phones behind me and turned back to the wall to avoid the dirty look she was giving me.

“What exactly are you doing with my apartment, Sam?”

“Shit! Hi, Tens! Did your plane get in ok?”

“Yeah, I got in about ten minutes ago. I just put in my order for a cab and I have fifteen minutes until it gets here,” I explained. “Thought I’d check in.”

“Well, the place hasn’t burned down, the plants have yet to wilt and the manager hasn’t come pounding on the door,” Sam summed up. “For the three hours you’ve been gone, things haven’t completely gone crashing down around me.”

“And ‘Sam’s Love Shack’?”

“It’s Sam’s shack of love,” he corrected. “I’m only answering the phone that way because it bugs Steve.”

“I’ll bet. How’s the dog?”

Sam chuckled. I hadn’t spent more than three hours away from the pup since Darcy brought him by that August afternoon. I was up to that three hours now and I was sounding like some over protective mother.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sam joked and I rolled my eyes.

“I am going to be at Joe’s for the next four days. You have that number?”

“Yeah, so does Steve and your secretary, there’s copies on the fridge and practically sewn onto the inside of my underwear. Worse to worst, I’m sure the dog knows how to dial it by now,” Sam assured me. “On top of that, I have a walk schedule, feeding schedule, plant schedule, and three emergency numbers – one of them all the way in Virginia.”

“I’m aware of that.” I readjusted the bag on my shoulder.

“What’s a guy in Virginia going to do if I lose the dog?”

I smirked a little, remembering the agent who’d come through town and spent two weeks trying to learn everything he could about the ‘suspicious activity’ going on in the hills of Alcatraz. He’d found more than he expected, including two kids who entirely on their own and he’d offered his number up so they’d have someone in the future if they ever needed him. It was sappy, but at least he hadn’t busted us for being pseudo-runaways or called our parents up on charges of neglect. We hadn’t expected a stranger to ignore what the town did, but there were good people out there after all.

“Do you really want to know what Special Supervisory Agent Max Connor would do if I called in a favor?” I asked.

Sound concerned, fret and insist everything was fine until there was a police report to refer to…

“I guess not. So you’ll call me ten or twelve times over the next four days?” Sam asked and I did roll my eyes then.

“Be good, no matches, Steve is in charge and don’t –”

“Tie my shoes at the top of the stairs. I got it, Tens. Have fun and come back relaxed, will ya?”

“Sure.”

I hung up the phone and moved away from the line so that the lady waiting next didn’t have to shove me out of the way.

I really couldn’t blame her for being so anxious to get out of here. It was Thanksgiving holidays at one of the busiest airports in the country. The weather wasn’t the greatest either, causing delays, cancellations and all around overcrowding and high frustrations. I was lucky that I was getting out in a few minutes.

It had been my first plane ride and I’d slept through the whole thing. I had been pushing myself to get all the exams marked before the holidays so I could enjoy being around Joe for as long as possible. I had three classes of sixty students’ worth to get done in three days. By the time I’d finished, I’d been about ten minutes late leaving for the airport, I’d completely forgotten to throw on a pair of socks and I was so tired that I mixed up my boarding pass with my pamphlet from the department twice in two minutes. It wasn’t all that surprising that I’d sat down in my seat on the plane and not known another thing until the stewardess shook my shoulder once we arrived in Denver and the plane was empty.

This was also my first trip to Denver. I had meant to get down here before now, but there had been so much to do. I was teaching the three classes of introductory History 1000 on Monday, Wednesday and Friday with office hours on Tuesday from 3-5 pm. So far there had been three long weekends in the semester and all three had been inopportune for both Joe and I. He was not only going to school, but working with a construction firm. So I technically hadn’t even seen Joe since he took off in August. I wasn’t nervous, surprisingly. I expected to be after not seeing him for forever, but I was more excited than anything.

Twenty minutes later when I was standing outside his apartment door, I wasn’t so sure if I was excited anymore. There was laughter coming through the wood, both male and female. I reminded myself Joe had a female roommate before finally knocking on the door and waiting. It took a moment longer than I expected, but finally the door was opened. And there was Joe, gaping at me in surprise before a bright smile lit up his face.

I opened my mouth to tell him hello, but I never got that far. I was wrapped in warm arms and being kissed like mad a moment later. Boy, I’d missed that. Joe seemed to be thinking the same thing I was, but there must have been coherent thoughts – like the fact we were in a hallway – because he pulled us into the apartment and closed the door with his foot. We tripped over a few bags and I lost mine along the way to where I hoped we were going to find a bedroom. That’s when that annoying little cough came.

Joe pulled away and smiled at me again, before turning his head towards where a pretty blonde was standing, not looking impressed.

“Sara, this is Tens. Tens, this is my roommate Sara,” he introduced.

“Hi,” I offered.

“Howdy to you, too,” she drawled, giving me the once over.

“Sara is a medical major,” Joe continued. “She’s originally from a little town up north called Slater.”

I knew all this. Joe and I talked nearly daily about everything. I hadn’t really known what to think of Sara on the phone, but now I knew I didn’t like her. She kept giving me these looks like I was definitely just what she expected – not much. But right now, I was the one who had Joe’s hand absently pulling my shirt free from my jeans and completely ignoring Sara’s dirty looks.

“Well, I’ve got to get going. I will see you after thanksgiving, Joe,” she said, looking over at me again. “And it was…nice…to have finally met you, Tess.”

“Tens,” Joe corrected automatically.

“Right,” she all but growled on her way out the door.

Joe followed her, closing and locking it behind her with an audible click. He was back at my side in two steps and his hands were being a little more practical by trying to shove my coat off first.

“Joe,” I said, holding his hands still so I could get his attention.

“Yeah?” he asked, kissing my neck instead if I wasn’t going to let his fingers roam.

“So that was Sara.”

“Yeah, Sara,” he dismissed.

“She looked like she was going to claw my eyes out,” I told him, biting my lip at the feeling of his lips on my neck.

“Yeah?” he asked and I nodded, my chin brushing his dark hair.

“You didn’t tell me she liked you.”

“She does not like me,” he muttered against my neck.

“Oh, I think she does.”

Joe sighed and pulled away. “We’re going to have to talk first, aren’t we?”

“Yep,” I replied, stepping around him so I wouldn’t do something stupid, like let him go back to kissing like that.

“Alright,” Joe sighed. “Let’s get comfortable then. Can I get you a drink?”

“No, just the talk.”

I followed Joe into the living room where there was a white couch to match the rest of the white furniture and the white carpet. The only color in the room was from decorations Joe never owned and pictures that weren’t his, either. In fact, if it weren’t for the architecture books on the table beside the nursing magazines, I would doubt he lived there at all. I brought our own living room to my mind’s eye and was happy to note that not only did it have green furniture, plants, colorful throws and a wide array of books; it also had Joe’s things. The leather ottoman was his along with a few of the random knickknacks and tons of family pictures. Nearly every inch of the apartment had the power to remind everyone that more than one person lived there and that one of them was male.

“What do you want to talk about?” he asked.

“Well, I wanted to talk about Sara and how you could be so blind, but now I’m more worried about you.”

“Me?” he looked puzzled.

“Joe, you’ve been here since August and you haven’t settled in at all. You had more things when you were living with Sammy, Steve and…I can’t even remember the other two. And you were leery because they were constantly horsing around and ruining things.”

Joe blinked and looked around like he was paying attention to the place for the first time. He frowned a bit before shrugging and looking back at me.

“I guess I know that this is temporary. I’ll only be here for another five months.”

Well, I guess that did make sense.

“So because it’s temporary you’re not even going to make this place comfortable?” I asked and he shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m not all that comfortable here. I mean, Sara’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but…this isn’t home. I mean, it just…Come on,” he sighed, standing up and offering me his hand.

He led me down the hall and opened the only door on the left side of the hall. I walked in and could feel Joe in the room. The quilt from his bed when he lived with Sammy and Steve was thrown on the bed with sheets I’d had in our bottom drawer since I got out on my own – I’d been looking for them and now I knew where they were. There were a few posters of buildings on the walls, as well. They weren’t permanent, but they spoke to Joe’s interests. The dressers were loaded with textbooks and the table by the bed had a lamp.

I walked over to the bed and sat down on it so I could look closer at the only framed picture Joe had on display. I blinked and frowned when I saw it.

“Your friends’ mom – Mrs. Bagley – gave me that at the wedding,” he explained. “She said she found a few of you in her massive collection that I should have.”

“I don’t understand why she would do that,” I said, looking over the picture of me sleeping on the Bagley’s couch last Christmas in a knit sweater that itched to hell and back.

“She said that I was the only boy you ever seemed close to – enough so you were miserable without me, and there was the evidence,” he explained. “I didn’t know you were miserable that Christmas.”

I shook my head, setting the picture down. Joe reached into the drawer and pulled out an envelope and let me leaf through it. There were another dozen in there. Most of them were of me sleeping, all of them featuring me on my own. I recognized them all as being in the last few years before I left Alcatraz. One was at a picnic when I’d been lounging under a tree with a book, another in the middle of winter when I was curled up on their front porch watching the storm come in. I wondered if I looked lonely to Joe, too. I thought of myself as lonely anytime Jhon wasn’t with me back then. Now…I don’t know what I thought. I came across one of me at Keira’s wedding, looking off at something with a slight smile and remembered Joe was at the other side of the room.

“And since I got here, I put that picture out and kept thinking on what she was telling me at the reception while you and your friends went to get some booze. You were this self sufficient girl who never needed anyone, but you missed me. You needed me. You made a connection with me.”

“I guess,” I offered, not knowing what he wanted.

“I haven’t been home because I was sure I wasn’t going to leave again if I did,” he told me. “I left you on your own with a dog and came down here to learn, so I’ve been learning and not really anything else. I haven’t made friends, I haven’t really noticed Sara, and I sometimes can’t even stand that there’s a touch of home in here, let alone imagining it in the rest of the house.”

I blinked at him, wondering how I could have missed all that over our conversations on the phone. He looked miserable. Joe was the kind of person who met people and made sure that he was always welcome with a group of people. This wasn’t like him.

“You’re homesick?” I asked, trying not to sound as surprised as I felt since it seemed like he was punishing himself for it.

“Not really for the place, but for you and Sam and Steve and everyone else we know,” he replied. “This is worse than when I left Texas for the first time. I just keep getting through each day and reminding myself that there are only so many left before I’m not miserable anymore.”

“Joe, I’m sure that if you tried –”

“You know what makes it hard?” he asked, not letting me get a word in edgewise.

“What?” I asked.

“I like being at home instead of going out, I like dancing along to the radio instead of putting up with bad music in the bar. I like talking about things that matter instead of trying to make small talk. I even find myself turning on those stupid soap operas you like so much because they’re the only TV shows I can remember a vague plot for because you were always going on about it.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I just held his hand and rubbed his knuckles soothingly.

“You’ve ruined me for everyone else,” he stated, but it didn’t sound like a bad thing. “I don’t enjoy doing things with all the people I’ve met here because I’ve done them all with you and I know what I prefer. And it gets me missing you something awful enough that I just avoid doing things that’ll lead to it.”

And that’s when I leant in and kissed him. A girl didn’t hear that every day and even a non-romantic like myself could appreciate that I’d made a man fall so in love with me that he was ruined for the rest of his life for anyone else.

He kissed me back, obviously done with talking. We’d have to talk later about the fact he was looking at five more miserable months down here because I’d gone and ruined him with out even knowing I’d done it. We’d have to figure something out because he wasn’t going to do it for himself if he was certain that he deserved it or something idiotic like that. No one deserved good things more than Joe did. What bothered me was that I was too busy to have noticed that he was always home whenever I called and that he always wanted to hear about the dog and my classes and how Sammy and Steve were doing. He only talked about his own classes and Sara and Denver’s weather patterns. If I had have been paying attention, I would have noticed. I would have figured out he wasn’t letting on a long time ago. I knew he wouldn’t let me quit so I could come down and make things easier on him and he wasn’t going to quit because he was so stubborn. He was the one who’d pushed for this and I’d assumed I was the only one who woke up some mornings and didn’t want to get out of bed or that I’d been the only one of us who hid away in their bedroom for a week.

Maybe we weren’t so different after all.

Any comments are welcome and flames accepted.

See ya in the funny papers!!

Sonah