Of Kirei na Kanjou

by Zaide

For the fear of being completely poisoned by the venomous voice singing gently into her ear, she trembled. She wanted to be free. Slowly, she was immobilized. She was scared of rotting where she was seated. But even the clouds were intoxicated. They seemed more beautiful than ever, floating without end.

She didn’t understand a word. Yet, there was something about it… she didn’t know what. But she wanted to know. She wanted to share the sadness that bothered the beautiful voice into showing the loneliness in its soul.

It was almost like a spell that wove images in and out of her head. Everything else seemed to pause in place, even her heart gradually spoke of nothing. Earthly sounds ceased to listen to the beautiful voice that pierced through and the lonely instruments that accompanied it in its fulfillment. It was lovely.

It repeated over and over and over. It filled her and brought her peace.

It was tempting. It brought her an image of standing in the edge of a high building with the sad world below her. Her knees shook. Jump, it told her, and soar. Soar high above the intoxicated clouds and see beyond. You might sprout wings, it laughed.

And she jumped.

And she awoke, with the beautiful and lonely voice fading into a hidden pocket of her heart. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks. The clock was ticking faintly. The wind was blowing again. Her world returned to its boring animation. But she smiled.

She managed to survive but it left her in a wasted state. She thought about it over and over again. What was it trying to tell her? She clutched at her heart, hearing it beat more loudly than before. She could feel its thumping up to her head and down to her cold toes. Did she feel death? She was afraid of the questions arising from her thoughts.

She bit her lip till it bled. She cried once more. And she could hear it singing very softly inside her again, telling her of a thousand stories of sadness that it found deep inside; stories of sadness that were her very own.