Tim and I had been “bestest best friends” ever since we were in our nappies. For as long as I can remember, we did almost everything together. We would lose track of time, playing tag at the back of the church. Talk about all things under the sun, with our mouths full of grease and fries. I’d help him whenever he was stuck on a sum, or ran out of inspiration for his essays, and he’d teach me how to dribble a football, or throw a basketball. Inseparable, as our parents would say.

That was when we were young, still full of life and vigour. Fast approaching teenage hood, our friendship was still going strong. So strong, that I felt no need to make any new friends at all. I found myself becoming less and less receptive to new people intruding into my life. Tim, however, had no such problem in extending a warm hand of friendship to others. He tried to enlarge this bond of comradeship between us to other people, but this merely made me feel more alienated and awkward in the presence of his new companions. I felt like I was tagging along, having no interest whatsoever in their conversations. I longed for the old Tim, and so I held on to the false illusion that the good old times would soon be back. I couldn’t have been more mistaken.

Tim soon preferred the company of his new friends to mine. His new world of bands and guitars was so much more fascinating than the dull humdrum of ours. I could tell that things simply weren’t the same as they used to be. Tim and I were now different people, with different interests and different personalities. Yet I couldn’t accept it. I couldn’t accept the fact that the unbreakable bond that had kept us together for so long was simply falling apart.

I still remember that day clearly. The sky grew dark, as rain cascaded down lightly on the tarmac road. Tim and I stood at the bus-stop, grim and silent. We used to babble about cool cars and football stars here. Now, any conversation between us would just be strained and unnatural. I think that somehow, we both knew that. It was just that none of us were sure what to do about it. After a while, Tim looked at me in the eye and cleared his throat. To cut a long story short, he just said that we couldn’t be best friends any longer. We were clearly different people now, and we could never be as close as we were before. He knew it as well as I did. We just weren’t the same anymore.

With that, his bus came, and left.

I didn’t know whether I was supposed to be angry, disappointed or confused. I couldn’t think too clearly for a while. Losing my best friend of over eight years was not an easy thing to bear, especially for a twelve-year old kid at that time, on the brink of adolescence. As a matter of fact, Tim was my only friend. Without him, I felt like a complete social misfit. My other friends had established closer ties between themselves, and I no longer felt like part of them. I didn’t know anyone, and no one seemed able to relate to me like Tim did. This made me question my ability to fit in, and I began to avoid contact with others for the fear of rejection. The sight of others laughing, talking to each other so freely made me envious. Somehow, nothing felt right.

It took me quite some time before I realised that I couldn’t stay like this, and that this simply wasn’t going to change anything. Tim was right. We had simply grown apart and there was no point in holding on to a friendship that no longer worked. Struggling to avoid letting myself grow apart from Tim would only make things worse.

And so I prayed, composed myself and started getting involved again. I was surprised at how quickly all my insecurities began fading away. Yes, I felt awkward, like an outcast at first. But soon I began to find a place I could be comfortable in, where I could be myself and where my social life didn’t have to revolve around Tim anymore.

Though I no longer share the same familiarity I once did with Tim, I still talk to him and wave ‘hi’ whenever I see him down the hallway. In the end, I don’t blame Tim for everything that’s happened. I thank him, as a matter of fact. I thank him for being such a great friend to me in the past. I thank him for showing me that he had moved on that day, and that I should, too.