i used to think i was edie sedgwick

stumbling, swearing, falling

in black lace slips and combat boots,

smeared makeup. red pen track marks on my arm,

and a purse full of needles from the needle exchange,

we used only for piercings,

in dirty tiled bathrooms

where we did everything else,

because heroin is hard to find

in a middle class world.

but my daddy was a head doctor,

and thought i just needed to calm down.

a. d. d., anxiety, borderline,

dissociation. but not depression

which was ok, because prozac

and lithium are boring anyway.

i snorted ritalin off scratched locker mirrors,

could never eat during dinner,

but felt like a star,

because we always talked about me.