Authors Note: I don't really like to put these at the start of my stories but I thought I'd just give out some needed warnings. Firstly this story is a M/M Slash, and therefore If you don't like it then don't read it as it contains some quite graphical scenes and mentions of sexual situations. Secondly, this story has various strong themes and some quite graphical scenes of child abuse and self inflicted abuse and so once again if you don't like it then don't waste your time reading it. Finally there is some general strong language which should be taken note of.

The story is rated M for a reason and you have been warned so if you don't like it then don't complain.

I'm sorry if this warning seems harsh to genuine readers but I just wanted to make this clear before people started reading as I do not enjoy being flamed for my writing.

Full Summary: Cameron is trying to escape his life, after all it’s always hard being a teenager but even harder when your struggling with your sexuality. Add in to the mix an abusive father, the impending loss of the love of your life and self-harm and you have a recipe for disaster. Will he succeed or will he be doomed to be alone for the rest of his life?

Shattered Crimson

©2006 Kirsten Nussey

Prologue

“I love you,” I whispered tenderly to my best friend and boyfriend Liam as we lay together on the soft double bed that stood in the middle of his bedroom. Its sensual appeal magnified by the luxurious aroma of the various vanilla scented candles that were casting a romantic glow all around us, together with the thin silk blood-red sheets below us.

“I love you too,” Was his response, before quickly climbing on top of me and bringing his soft rose coloured lips down to meet my own; over which his tongue licked softly, teasingly; demanding an entrance that I was only too happy to provide.

It wasn’t long before the kiss deepened, gradually becoming more forceful as my legs began to entwine themselves around his waist of their own accord, a shudder running through me as he pinned my arms up above my head roughly, leaving me to feel vulnerable and exposed, yet even more aroused at the same time. No doubt the effect that he had wanted to produce. Add to this the fact that his hot breath suddenly brushed against my cheek alerting me to the fact that he had pulled away, and I found a disappointed moan escaping lips that I didn’t even recognise as my own. His response produced a further reaction in me, as he began to trace his finger tips lightly over my chest - causing me to moan more and more in to his ears, producing what could only be known as a desired excitement from him as I felt him hardening readily above me.

His fingers swiftly found their way to the fastened waistband of my jeans, my breath catching in my throat from the sheer effect of having his body pressed so tightly against mine and the thoughts of what was to come. Making quick work of the button separating us, he found his way to my black boxers and slipped his hand underneath and I felt myself hardening as he slipped them slowly down past my knees and eventually to the floor.

I felt myself sink into what I can only possibly describe as a state of “bliss” and before I knew it we were both naked, his chest beating in time with and against my own as we found ourselves once more engaged in what could only be described as a “passionate” kiss. Together as one.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked me, pulling away and sitting up in a position that would allow him a greater access to what we both actually wanted.

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I bolted awake to find sticky beads of hot sweat dripping down my chest and back, my breathing ragged and uneven, and Liam holding me close to him in his arms.

“It was just a nightmare, everything’s alright,” Liam said in an attempt to comfort me, consequently proving how little he knew of what I was actually dreaming of as I lay in bed beside him, which was in fact the same thing that I often dreamt of - especially when I slept at his house, which was becoming increasingly more regular. I was sharing his bed and his warmth and yet still he didn’t understand.

For one brief moment our eyes connected; Liam’s bright emerald green eyes -seemingly reflecting every emotion that I myself felt inside – a complete contrast to my own which were a plain and simple dull grey. Plain and simple – just like me. I mean who exactly was I trying to kid anyway? Did I honestly believe that somebody in any way as perfect as he was would want a piece of trash like me? No, I don’t think so – but then… a hope is a hope… there doesn’t need to be any grain of reality behind it. I guess what I’m trying to say is that all I really saw in his eyes was his worry and his concern for me, because nothing will ever happen between us, no matter how many times a day I fantasize, hope or dream. We are what we are. Friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Ever.

He placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently; a gesture of sympathy, maybe even one of pity but a gesture that I welcomed nonetheless. Did he even realise what his touch did to me? Would he ever? Didn’t he realise that with every single breath that escaped him, with every single feature of his well-defined body, with every single touch that he placed upon me and that every time he sent a glance my way – I’d find myself melting, slowly blending into the background around me, time stopping at a complete standstill to allow myself more pain – more time to realise that I would never have him – could never have him.

I found myself hoping for the longest amount of time that I’d perhaps find the courage to tell him how I felt – how I still feel – but then reality bites back and reminds me that he’s straight and that I’m not. I’ve played out every possible scenario in my head and on more than one occasion too; from the most likely reality: being that he would disown me and beat it out of me like my father tried to do; or to the completely insane picture: being that he would admit his own hidden feelings and we’d run away together to start a new life.

How naïve I am.

I hope to update this story at least once a week, and to anybody that is reading any of my other stories - I haven't forgotten about you!