An Unrealistic View:

Episode 3: Revenge of the Seth

Part III: Bigger, Better, and Uncut

I glared at Seth Lou and thought about how far I have gotten, how many lives were lost, and how much time I could have been playing the “Nintendo Wii” instead of dealing with this untimely adventure.

Seth Lou told me, “You are probably wondering why you’re here and why I am here. Well that little story of yours found its way all over the globe and now lawmakers are bashing MySpace more than ever before. Parents want it to be shut down! But that floppy disk you have holds the code for our newest feature, ‘The Super Special Number.’ However I will explain more about that later. I will not merely let you exchange the disk for your life. I want both. And if you don’t care for your life that much anymore, we have you “Wii”! Now you have no choice but to fight me!”

“You fool!,” I am replied, “Damn you!”

“No it is not me who shall perish and go to hell, but it is you. Instead of fighting physically we will play a card game you might know, “Yugioh.”

“Why ‘Yugioh’?”

“There is now time to explain my insecurities now! Let’s duel!” he said as he threw a box at me. It contained a deck of trading cards. We then were ready to play at a nearby table.

“I’ll start,” I said as I played a strong move and played a high level monster on my first turn. Seeing that his demise in the game was near, Seth Lou did something surprising.

:”I play ‘Summoned Skull’ (A high level monster)!” he screamed as he took a card from his hand.

“But you can’t do that, you need a tribute (sacrificing one/two monsters to play a stronger one)!”

“SO?” he screamed as he threw the card right at my eye.

“I ducked and screamed, “What the heck was that?”

“I block this game!” he screamed as he broke the table in half with his fist, “You’re next.”

“Oh man.”

“If you won’t add me as a buddy I must destroy you! Feel the wrath of my hack!” Seth Lou replied as he started to strangle me.

I kicked him in the crotch and said, “INSTANT MESSAGE!” He fell to the ground.

He then stood up and said, “I am taking you off my favorites,” as he punched me in the stomach.

I fell down in pain and he told me, “Your MySpace soul has been deleted.”

Then it all went black.

…

When I woke up I was in a chair tied up by many chains with a television in front of me. It looked like I was in a dungeon. I did not feel the disk in my pocket anymore. It turned on and I saw the puppet from the movie series “Saw.”

“Let’s play a little game. I want to see how long you can survive as you watch the premier of Seth Lou’s brilliant “Super Special Number” feature of MySpace. In exchange for giving us your Social Security Number, we will fill your “iPod” with as many songs as you wish!”

“You demons,” I whispered to myself.

“Now watch as “CNN” covers the story…” I heard as it switched to channel 15.

This is Bob Rocksmith covering the news conference called by FOX’s president, Seth Lou. He apparently is releasing a brand new feature to “MySpace.” Let’s tune in to what he has to say!

“My name is Seth Lou and I am the President of Fox and I would like to premier a new feature of “MySpace” called the “Super Special Number”. I think it will be best if I just show this video.”

Mr. Lou now is turning on a switch and an image appears on a computer screen! I wonder what it is. Wow! All the screen says is “Server OverLoaded!”

“NO! HOW CAN THIS BE? I’M MELTING!”

Would you look at that: the President of Fox is melting? It’s melting as fast as the career of those “Seinfeld” guys!

The End