Airek was the best thing to ever happen to me.

My life was a pretty boring…life. Nothing extraordinary went on. My parents were strict and suffocating at some times, but whose parents aren’t? Then as I grew older, I became a mechanic at my friend’s shop, and then got myself a little apartment.

It didn’t bother me – I’d take my boring ol’ life over a miserable, but interesting one any day. I was comfortable with the routine, with knowing nothing would happen, and I wouldn’t make anything happen.

And then I met him.

It was as if I had been living colorblind, and he had suddenly filled my vision with the whole spectrum of colors. My bland life was now beautiful, and it was all his doing, without him even knowing it.

The very first time I saw him, I immediately fell in love. I was hanging off every word he said, watching every movement he made. I was obsessed. I just hope he never noticed…

He never seemed like the kind of person who really liked the presence of others, and looking back on it, I’m really surprised he offered to help me, the first time we met. But I guess that that was what was so intriguing about him; so…challenging. I wanted to be the one person he liked being around, I wanted it to be me who he could come to with anything, who he could truly, fully trust.

Well, I managed to accomplish that, but it was foolish of me to assume there weren’t others before me.

Firstly, there was Sheridell, who he had known for ever. They always bickered, but you could tell their friendship ran very deep. Along with her were Jack and Terry, who Airek didn’t seem to be as close to, when it came to trust and loyalty, but more with going out and just being friends.

When I first met all three of them, I absolutely despised them.

--

“Hey, hon,” Airek said to me a few days after we had moved into our new condo. “Some friends of mine are coming over to see our new place. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, sure,” I replied, in the kitchen with Devon, unpacking dishes and things. I was actually excited for it; I’d heard a bit about his friends, but we’d never gotten together. “Today?”

Airek hummed in agreement.

Later that day, there was a knock at the door – obviously Airek’s friends. He was in Devon’s room at the moment, and even though I didn’t really want to answer it myself, it would be silly to call Airek out just to answer for me.

Opening the door, there were two people behind it – a man and a woman. The woman’s face immediately lit up. “Oh, you must be Noble, right?”

“Um, yeah…” I said lightly, opening the door wider so they could come in.

Airek came out from Devon’s room, the latter trailing behind the former, clinging to his favorite stuffed cat, that they apparently just unpacked, since it still had a packing peanut in its fake fur.

“Oh, my goodness!” the woman went straight to Devon, kneeling down in front of him. “Hey, cutie! My name’s Sheridell, I’m a friend of your daddy’s!”

I almost cringed at her squeaky baby voice.

The man laughed and closed the door behind him, before coming up to me. “Hey, I’m Jack. I’m Sheridell’s husband, only not really, because we’re not very husband-and-wife-y…in fact, I think we got married on a dare…”

Got married on a dare? I wasn’t even going to ask. I smiled and nodded and went along with the whole thing for Airek’s sake.

The whole event mostly consisted of Sheridell cooing at Devon, which he ignored rather astoundingly, just messing with his cat, and nodding lightly every once in a while. Then Airek, Jack and I talked, and I contributed as much as I could force myself to.

They stayed for a few hours before we exchanged a rather drawn out goodbye, and then they were gone, and I could take a deep breath.

“So, how do you like them?” Airek asked as we settled ourselves back on the couch. “I know Sheridell’s a little…boisterous, but…”

“I really like them,” I said with a smile, with a knot of guilt tightening in my chest.

--

Now, I suppose Sheridell and Jack weren’t that awful anymore – it was pretty hard to get past Sheridell’s piercing voice and presence, but over the years, I really came to see what a good person she is.

Jack is a very interesting person, to say the least…as I learned more of his personality, I think he grew to be my favorite of the bunch.

But Terry…I still am not sure whether I can ever truly like him. There’s just something about him that I can never seem to get past, since the day I met him.

--

There was a loud knock at the door, early in the evening. Airek was in the other room with Devon, so I made my way over from the kitchen.

Unlocking and opening the door, I saw a scrawny looking man with shoulder-length blonde hair.

“Oh, um, hey, cutie,” he said, looking a little surprised. “Does Airek live here?”

“Uh, yeah,” I said, kind of slowly, still trying to register why on earth this stranger would just call me a pet name like that. “Hold on a sec.”

Turning around, I quickly made my way to Devon’s room, not really wanting to leave the guy alone for very long.

“Hey, Airek,” I said, entering the room. “Some blonde guy’s at the door asking for you.”

Airek frowned, apparently not able to think of anyone by the description. Sighing, he got up and made his way with me back to the front room.

Once he caught sight of the blonde, he put his hand to his mouth, looking shocked. “Terry! What are you doing here?”

Airek rushed over to the man, apparently Terry, and hugged him.

Terry giggled. “I wanted to surprise you.”

How disgusting. His laughter is so grating.

“And you definitely did,” Airek replied, pulling back. “So, what? Are you out for good now?”

“Yup,” Terry said cheerfully. “Been in there long enough, haven’t I?”

By this point, I had no idea what was going on (once I did, however, I can assure you it didn’t contribute to my liking towards him). I wanted to leave, go into Devon’s room or something, but I didn’t want to move, as if any sudden movement would draw their attention to me, which I didn’t want at all.

All I really knew was I hated the way Airek would just display affection to the guy in such the open way that took forever for me to obtain from him (even though I was sure it took Terry just as long).

The two of them babbled on for a little while before Airek glanced at me and said, “Oh! I apologize – Noble, this is an old friend of mine, Terry. Ter, this is Noble, my boyfriend.”

“Oh, my goodness, no way!” Terry looked at me, his face lit up, then turned back to Airek. “I’m so happy for you!”

Airek smiled, looking a little embarrassed. I didn’t like Terry’s blatant display of…himself, I suppose. He was just so familiar with Airek, and of course, he should be, since they’ve been friends for such a long time, but…it still made me uncomfortable.

“And jeez, I thought you’d never get over that Vince—”

Airek smacked him on the shoulder. “Well – now, I think we should sit down, yes?”

Frowning, I trailed behind them as we made our way to the couch. I didn’t like Terry knowing something about Airek that I didn’t. Especially something that was obviously personal…and he didn’t seem like he wanted me to know…couldn’t he trust me?

As the two talked, I tried to pipe up and say things here and there, but I didn’t put very much effort in to it. After Terry had left, of course Airek had asked what was wrong, and I tried to brush it off, but Airek knew me so well, despite anything I didn’t know about Airek, and he always knew how to make me feel better, and reassure me.

--

I am younger than Airek, despite how much taller I am, and I guess I will always make immature mistakes. Even Airek, I’m sure, has made stupid decisions. Everyone has. That’s why I don’t really blame myself for the jealousy I felt towards the three, who had such closer relations with Airek than myself, when I met them. Everyone gets jealous…it’s a human emotion…

I always tried to comfort myself by saying things like that.

In a way, Airek brought both happiness as well as sadness into my life. No longer were there the grays I had grown accustomed to, but also, there weren’t only warm colors now. There were dark colors, and dark feelings that came with loving Airek.

Airek says a lot of things he doesn’t mean, a lot of things I know shouldn’t get to me. Like any couple, we have our arguments (and our make-up sex), and though some of his words can leave a stinging impression, I could never blame him. I could never tell him he shouldn’t say mean things. I say mean things, too. But also, I know that he can’t help it sometimes. He likes to bottle things up, and I’m really his only outlet.

But I know that no matter how angry he may be with me, or how angry I am at him, we could really never leave each other.

--

“Hey, Airek?” I asked lightly, approaching him as he lay on the couch, reading a book. Devon was currently out at Terry’s place, and since it’s so rare for Airek and I to be home alone, now was the perfect time to bring this up.

“Hm?” Airek didn’t look up.

Sitting down on the edge of the couch, I looked outside the sliding glass door idly. “Well, I was thinking, and…this is just an idea, but, do you think maybe Devon should start going to high school?”

Now Airek looks up. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he’s so…sheltered. I mean, home schooling is great, you do a wonderful job, but…he never gets out, and what’s he going to do when he has to go into the real world?”

“The real world?” Airek asked, raising an eyebrow. He sat up, and set down his book. “What do you think this is? Make-believe? It’s not as if I don’t keep him from learning what he needs to about the world.”

“I know that,” I said quickly, not wanting to start that. “But, he doesn’t interact with anyone but us, and the family…I just think he should get to be around people his own age, and things…learn to socialize…”

“The last time that happened, the kid got pulverized,” Airek said, trying to keep his voice steady. “Devon is petrified of school…that’s the only thing different about him. He’ll be fine once he’s on his own, because he won’t have to be in a school setting.”

“But what about college? Are you going to home school him college?” I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Airek. Wake up. That was middle school. This is now. People in high school are hardly as mean, and…”

“I need to ‘wake up’, is that it? You can’t tell me to wake up until you know what it’s like to be scared to death once you set your foot on school campus. Can you tell me that you know that feeling? Can you tell me you know what it’s like to be ridiculed relentlessly about things about you that you can’t change? You—“

“Airek,” I put a hand to his shoulder. “Please. You have to see my side of the story. Get over this like, mental block you have, because—”

“Mental block?” Airek pushed my hand away. “What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t want Devon to have to go through that again, and—”

“You need to listen to me,” I pleaded. “I want what’s best for Devon just as much as you do. And what’s best for him is for him to experience the real world. Just because you had a fucked up childhood, it’s not justification for fucking up Devon’s.”

“What—I can’t—there’s no way for me to respond to that! That’s total bullshit! There’s no way I—”

“You can’t tell me it’s bullshit that you want to save Devon from going through what you did. But he’ll go through so much worse if you don’t let him live. He’ll grow up, and be on his own, and he’ll wonder, ‘why didn’t dad teach me any of this? Why didn’t he let me know what it was like?’”

“You don’t know shit about me! You can’t sit there and tell me what the fuck I’m thinking, because you can’t tell me a damn thing about me!”

I knew he was just angry, but that had really hurt me. Especially with the insecurity I felt around his friends, who really do know him.

“Airek, calm down, I’m just—”

“You’re just what? You’re—”

“Don’t give me shit about making assumptions about you, when you’re just going to do the same damn thing to me! Why won’t you listen to me? Why—”

“Because Devon is my son, not yours.”

I paused for a moment, and took a deep breath. “Devon is just as much my son as he is yours. I met you the same time you did, you know, and—”

“In fact, I met him almost a whole month before you—”

“Oh, whoopty-fucking-do, almost a whole month.”

“Devon is my flesh and blood, and I don’t need you to raise him!”

Giving him a cold look, I stood up. “If that’s how you feel, then I don’t need you, period.”

I quickly swiped my keys and cell phone off of the kitchen counter and slipped on my shoes before leaving.

Frankly, I was really surprised that he didn’t come running after me like the little baby he is deep inside. And though I kind of wanted that, and the sick feeling of satisfaction that would come with it, I was also glad that he left me alone.

At the time, I really thought that that could be it. The end. Sayonara. Anger was just coursing through my veins, and I could barely see straight, through the haze of his words repeating over in my head.

I got into my car and I just started driving. I drove for a pretty long time, and somehow ended up at the repair shop I worked at. I was sure that Adam could use the extra hours from me, and certainly, work would get my mind off of other things (and the extra money didn’t hurt).

Once I got there, sure enough, there’s a good handful of customers, and at this time of day, not many people working.

“Noble!” Adam cried in relief at the sight of me. “It’s a total miracle you arrived.”

“My spidey senses were tingling,” I said, to which Adam laughed.

“I knew you’d come to my rescue,” he replied, before leaving the register to his father and leading me into the garage.

I threw on the clothes I had at work so I wouldn’t ruin what I was wearing, and Adam discussed with me about what was wrong with the cars. I immediately fell into the comfort that was just doing my job, what I loved, and soon all thought pertaining to anything but the insides of these cars left my mind.

I seriously did not want to go back home, even after the day was over and Adam and his dad were closing up the shop for the day.

“So, what’s up?” Adam asked he flicked off the last few lights. “How come you’re lingering? It’s unusual enough that you came in to work extra hours.”

“I just…needed something to kill time, or something…” I muttered, the words sounding extremely stupid as they came out of my mouth.

Adam laughed. “Uh-huh. Really, is everything okay? You get in a fight with the ol’ mistress?”

I sighed, but otherwise remained silent. Of course, Adam knew that Airek was no mistress; it was a sort of inside joke, I suppose.

Adam smacked me on the back. “I completely sympathize. Don’t wanna go back home, I’ll betcha?”

“You can take a wild guess,” I replied quietly.

“Yeah,” Adam said sympathetically. “Well, no matter; you can stay at my place.”

I looked up at him. “Really?”

“Of course, man,” he put a hand to my shoulder and led me out of the shop. We got into our respective cars and made our way to his place.

I’d actually only been to Adam’s house once before, and once we arrived, it was exactly the same. Of course. Adam wasn’t a man of change.

Inside, Adam set me up with the guest bedroom, and despite my exhaustion at the time, it still took a long while before I actually fell asleep.

The next few days were spent either at Adam’s, or the shop. I had total mixed feelings about going back home…I knew I should, but every time I got close, I would just chicken out. Besides, if Airek was actually worrying about me, he would have called my cell by now…

On the fourth day I was out, Adam came up to me at the shop at midday.

“You know what you need?” he asked, slapping a hand to my shoulder.

“Hm?” I glanced up at him.

“You need to freaking party!” he laughed. “That’ll get you right out of your slump.”

“No way,” I said immediately. “Bad things happen at parties. And, it’s not like Airek and I have broken up or anything -- it’s just a…break, of sorts.”

“Noble – dearest – ‘break’ is the root word of ‘broken up’. You’ve been out of the house for four days! If you’re ever going back, it’s to pick up your shit. I’ll bet your little mistress has it all packed up for you by now.”

His words suddenly set off some sort of…red flag or something in my head.

I had to get back to Airek. And not only him, but to Devon.

“Ah, see? I can recognize that look of realization on your face – partying is the answer!”

“No, no, I have to go home…” I muttered. I grabbed my things from under the counter and rushed out the door, not even bothering to change out of my work clothes.

Luckily the drive home was short, so there was little room for me to change my mind. Not that I could, anyway, because Adam’s words has really hit home.

Once outside my own front door, I started taking deep breaths. The good news was that there weren’t any boxes labeled “Noble’s shit” on the porch.

After running my hands down my face nervously, I unlocked the door and slowly came inside. Looking in, I saw Airek look up at me from the counter in the kitchen. A jolt of anxiety and fear and happiness and love rushed through my body all at once upon seeing that face.

He just kind of stared at me for a moment before rushing from out of the kitchen and over to me, jumping into my arms, and I easily caught him.

“Oh, Noble, I can’t believe you’re back, I’m so happy you’re here and I said so many awful things to you and I just can’t believe you’re really here…” he babbled, and I just lightly set him down and pulled him into a slow, loving kiss.

--

That memory is the longest, but it’s definitely the most important. After that whole ordeal, we completely removed ‘taking things for granted’ out of our vocabularies, and really realized how much we need each other.

Airek and I don’t get into fights very often, and when we do, they’re usually about petty things like, which movie we should see this weekend, or, who should cook dinner tonight. But the previous fight was about something that could really change our whole family’s lives, and…that fight itself changed us too.

Now I know, that no matter what we’ve been through, and whatever we will go through, we’ll always need each other. We’ll always be there for each other, and for Devon. And, in the end, that’s all each of us need.