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Chapter 17: A Breakthrough
Sabin’s break came when his father fell ill a couple of months after he and Jorjanna had arrived in his hometown. During that time, he had established a cordial relationship with both of his parents and many of his old friends, but none of the relationships had gone any further than that, leaving Sabin endlessly frustrated and depressed about his lot in life. That all changed when he got news of his father’s illness from one of the store’s regular customers.
The distant personality he’d displayed to everyone in town disappeared almost instantly upon hearing that bit of news. Sabin vaulted over the counter and ran out the door, ignoring the confused yells of his boss. He hurried down the street, desperate to be near his father and completely forgetting about the fact that for all intents and purposes he was no longer their son. He arrived at his old home a few minutes later and pounded on the door, aware of his situation enough to know better than to storm into their house unannounced.
His mother answered the door looking worse for wear, her eyes blackened from lack of sleep. “Can I help you?”
Sabin forced a shaky smile onto his face as he shook his head. “I’m actually here to help you,” he replied and prayed that she had overcome her apprehension enough to let him inside. He wanted to be a part of whatever was about to happen. He had no idea how sick his father was or if he’d survive and Sabin desperately wanted to be with him.
She smiled and patted his cheek. “You really are a good boy, but I’ve got everything under control here. You better go on back to work.”
Sabin wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He stopped her from shutting the door. “Please let me help; it’s the least I can do, and it’ll free up your time so you can spend more time with your husband,” Sabin pleaded.
“Why is this so important to you, boy?”
Sabin was silent for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Finally he spoke the truth, “The two of you remind me a lot of my parents, and I’d hate to see you work alone to help your get husband better.”
His mother chuckled and opened the door to let him pass. “I feel bad accepting your help. Don’t you have a job?”
“I don’t think I do any more,” he replied and looked down the hall towards the room where he knew his father was. “May I go see him?”
She nodded and led the way since she believed that he didn’t know where to go. As far as she knew, Sabin had never stepped foot inside the house before.
Sabin winced when he saw how frail and pale his father looked lying in bed, but the faint snores he emitted eased Sabin’s fears somewhat. If his father was snoring, surely he wasn’t too sick. He let that inane thought give him some hope and smiled as he turned back to his mother. “So what can I help you with?”
Sabin didn’t let the man’s returning health stifle his desire to continue helping his mother. He did all the chores that he would have been doing had Jorjanna not come and destroyed his life, but unlike before, he now enjoyed every minute of them. It was a silly sentiment, but Sabin couldn’t ignore the fact that he felt more alive in his parents’ house than he had in over a year. There was a sense of future possibility everywhere he looked and he hated the thought that he would soon have to leave the little happiness he’d found.
Finally his father reached the point where he was once again well enough to get up and move around. He took to sitting out in the kitchen and watching as Sabin helped his mother prepared the meals and clean up. Every once in awhile, Sabin could have swore he’d heard his father chuckle at the sight before him.
Sabin moved towards the door to leave as the two of them sat down for dinner one night, but stopped when he heard his father calling him. “Sabin, boy, come on back here and sup with us.”
Sabin remained in the doorway, hesitant. “I really should be getting home to my wife, sir.”
“I’m sure she’ll understand this one time; you’ve worked yourself hard here. It’s about time I start to repay you for all you’ve done.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Sabin answered as he sat across from his father and grabbed the plate his mother passed to him. “I only did what was right by lending you two a hand.”
“And lost your job in the process,” his mother added.
Sabin waved his hand, dismissing her words as he finished chewing. “That’s nothing; I’ll find work somewhere else. It wasn’t like the store was going to help me further myself,” Sabin explained and took another large bite. He hadn’t realized how hungry he’d been until then.
His father laughed and extended his hand across the table. “Well then, at least let me thank you for all you’ve done, Sabin. You’re a good man and the town is lucky to have you.”
Sabin took the offered hand in silence. He didn’t know how to reply to that. “That’s very kind of you, sir.”
“Enough with the sirs and ma’ams, boy. My name’s Mark and hers is Elaine; you’ve earned the right to call us by our names. In fact, you’re welcome back here any time. We’d be happy to have you around.”
Tears filled Sabin’s eyes with his father’s words. “You have no idea how much that means to me,” he whispered and ran his sleeve over his eyes to dispel the tears gathered there.
His mother patted Sabin’s hand with a smile. “I think we do.”
Sabin got home about a half hour after supper and walked into the front door in a haze. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. After months of working to find some kind of life in his hometown, his parents had essentially accepted him as their son. The only thought that tempered his elation at that development was the fact that he really was their son and that they’d would never again know that. He sank to the floor just inside the door and stared at the far wall for lack of anything better to do.
Sabin slowly focused his eyes on his wife. “My parents have started to treat me like their son,” he whispered.
A smile blossomed across Jorjanna’s face. “That’s wonderful! Does that mean your father is doing well then?”
Sabin nodded. “I just don’t know how wonderful this really is. It’s not like I can actually be their son again; it’s just a false feeling on their part.”
Jorjanna’s heart sank; she didn’t want to just sit by and watch as Sabin talked himself into a depression again. He’d been doing so much better over the past couple of days as he worked to help his parents. There had to be a way to keep him fixed on the positive. “There is nothing false about how they feel about you. You went there and filled a role only a son would, and even if they don’t know that you really are their son, you do. So you might as well start acting like it now that they’ve accepted you into their lives. Who knows, over time they may forget that you came to them as a stranger.”
“Maybe,” Sabin muttered and dropped his eyes. “I’ve been horrible to you, haven’t I?”
Jorjanna was thrown off by his sudden change of subject. “Perhaps, but it’s nothing worse that what I forced you through, Sabin, so don’t worry about it,” she tried to brush it off, saddened that her attempt to steer him clear of all depressing thoughts had failed.
“It’s not that simple though. I promised you that I’d be better than this and yet I’ve show you nothing by scorn since we married.”
“It isn’t that big of a deal, Sabin,” Jorjanna said with a sigh and squatted down before him. She took his hand and coaxed him to look at her. “We can change things now if that’s what you’d like. I wish I could do more than just change what’s between us and take back what I did when I took you from your life, but that’s impossible. It’s much easier to remove something like a memory than it is to put it back. I only wish it weren’t so.”
Sabin studied their hands for a moment before looking Jorjanna in the eye. “It’s because of that, that I never will really trust you, Jorjanna,” he took a breath and continued, “but I see no reason for us not to at least try to make this marriage work despite all that’s come before,” he finished truthfully.
Jorjanna’s heart gave a painful twinge with his words, but she was happy that he was being honest with her. Lies were never a good foundation for any relationship, and even now, Jorjanna still held out hope that Sabin would someday fall in love with her even if he withheld some of his trust. She had hurt him too badly to ever expect him to forgive her entirely, but Jorjanna was fine with that. She was perfectly content with what Sabin was willing to give her, knowing that whatever it was, he was giving it freely.
“I’ve been waiting to hear those words for a long time, Sabin,” Jorjanna replied and scooted up beside him. She rested her head on his shoulder and brought his hand to her lips, kissing it gently.
