Winning the battle

And losing the war

Is (I have learned)

What these pills are for.

-

I wasn’t like this

A year ago

Though I was still joyless.

I was still alone.

-

Continually numb

And yet I was sane.

I was still alive.

I could still feel the pain.

-

You came to me.

You made me whole

By hiding the pain

And masking my soul.

-

The mask set me free

By caging me

In a world where I saw

No misery.

-

You held the mask, so

You had control

Of my thoughts, and then –

Over my soul.

-

On my face,

The mask was so pretty.

I almost thought (at the mirror)

“This really is me”.

-

Then one day

You came up to me

And leaned in real close

As if to kiss me.

-

Bliss I truly felt.

With that kiss, the mask

Would attach to my face

And imprint me at last.

-

You promised me love.

You promised a kiss.

You promised the mask,

Then left me with this.

-

That day that you leaned in,

You ripped off the mask.

Blood gushed from my skin

And I turned away fast.

-

What happened thereafter

I cannot recall.

But who should care?

It doesn’t matter at all.

-

I have a new mask.

It doesn’t work well.

For three days of joy,

It gives one day of hell.

-

It’s shaped like a pill

Full of milligrams

And with each new day

It shapes who I am.

-

But you still have control

Whether you know it or not.

The Mask of True Love

Cannot be forgot.

-

Maybe someday I’ll need

No mask to be free.

Meanwhile, Darling,

Please, may I breathe?