It’s Only November; How Does Time Work?

(November 6, 2006)

(I don’t know… I don’t even understand this all myself when I read back through….)

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Is it wrong to be just so way mixed up inside that you are not even able to breathe correctly?

To be so afraid of tomorrow but more afraid of worrying about existing through today?

What if we all could just be, and not fear?

Would the world be that much more clear?

And simple, and pleasant, and peaceful, and quiet.

How could the world still live and continue, and just slip from my grip and fall to the floor in such an unrecognizable movement;

Does it really just fall through the cracks that quickly and without warning?

And how could He just find her in this mixed up place but feel nothing to leave me?

Is this really not about Her and just a game to Him to outrun me?

A game where the players and pawns always outnumber me…

How could one pretend to just move on?

While never letting go of something bigger than us all?

So large and so perilous but too sacred to him though he cannot keep it.

He guards it so watchfully and carefully though it was made of porcelain and could be stolen at any moment in time.

What he does not realize is that sometimes our most favorite sins are the ones that get us killed.

Without fail, we will always loose in the end against these terrible odds.

So keep your secrets guarded,

And hold your loved ones close.

For the time shall come when you will forget what really matters in the first place,

And I will not be coming back to save you again….