|Slash from the Scene Girl's Pen
Author: parasitic pathos PM
MM SLASH ZOMG! My attempt at making fun of all the crappy, cliched, slash stories on this site and elsewhere on the internet. Will Pete find true love? ! One shot. You people like this thing way too fucking much. wtfRated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Words: 1,117 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11-08-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2273716
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
My friend was telling me about how she hates reading slash on here lately because of "scene girls writing just because they think boys kissing is hot" so I decided to write this. If you're planning on taking it seriously, then you should leave now. If you read all the way through and feel offended, I really don't want to hear about it.
Slash from the Scene Girl's Pen
There once was a teenager named Pete. Pete was into the latest trends such as dyeing his hair completely unnatural colors, cutting his wrists while his favorite bands played on his iPod (those bands would include My Chemical Romance, Fallout Boy, and Hawthorne Heights), and fitting his ass into girl jeans that he stole from his best friend, Kate.
Pete wasn't the happiest kid ever and no one could blame him. I mean, his dad beat him, his mother was an alcoholic prostitute, his boyfriend had just killed himself because his hair straightener broke, and everyone at school made fun of him by calling him such derogatory names like "emo" and "gay."
Just because he cried a lot, cut his wrists, and only owned tight little band shirts didn't make him emo. Just because he wore girl pants, wore more make up than most girls, was obsessed with his hair, and had had a boyfriend didn't make him gay. He was just trying to be an individual.
Well, Pete always had a dream despite his terrible, horrible, oh so sickening life. That dream was to start a band and become famous! He'd be the newest big hit… he could just feel it. The only problem (which added on to his long list of other problems) was that he didn't have anyone to start a band with. He couldn't play instruments. He could only sing. (Well, whining was singing, right?)
So he started looking for other people to join his temporarily one man band, which he decided to call "xx Razors, Pills, Hate, Suicide, More Hate, and Death xx." No one seemed interested however, until one day in class when he saw this amazingly hot new kid walk in.
He was wearing the exact pair of girl jeans that Pete had been saving up for and also had on a Fallout Boy shirt! Oh happy day!
Pete pushed Kate away from his table and raised his hand. "Oh, teacher! Teacher, the new boy can be my lab partner!"
"What happened to Kate?" asked the concerned teacher.
"Well, this is a slash story, so she won't come back into it for a long time… Ew! Vagina!"
The teacher shrugged and sent over the new boy.
"Hi," Pete purred. "I like your lip ring."
"Thanks." The new kid smiled what seemed to be a pain-filled smile. "I like your eyebrow ring."
"Oh my god! Cool! My name's Pete. What's yours?"
Class started up, but Pete couldn't pay attention. He was too busy staring at the new boy. He could almost forget his ex-boyfriend. Gerard was way cuter anyway. Besides, his ex wasn't all that great because his shoes weren't Converse. Gerard's were.
After class, Pete stayed by Gerard's side.
"Hey, Gerard, want to join my band? It's called 'xx Razors, Pills, Hate, Suicide, More Hate, and Death xx.' It'd be really cool if you could."
Gerard just shrugged with one shoulder. He had so much attitude. So cool. "I can't play any instruments."
"That doesn't matter! Meet me at my house after school!"
"But I don't know where you li—"
"Just be there!" Pete merrily skipped away to his next class, where he once again couldn't stop thinking about Gerard. Sure, they'd only just met about an hour ago, but Pete knew he was in love.
Pete was pacing in his room. He'd already changed his clothes ten times and just couldn't decide on what to wear.
He finally did pick something out and was about to leave his room when his father walked.
"Hey, Pete. How was your day?" Pete's dad asked.
Pete screamed. "Please don't beat me, daddy! No!"
"That's it you little piece of shit! You'll never talk to me that way again!"
Ten minutes later, Pete was lying on his bedroom floor, wiping a bloody nose on the back of his hand as his dad stormed out of the room. Why was his life so horrible!?
But then the doorbell rang and he knew it was Gerard. He got up, wiped his nose one more time, and trounced on out to the front door. He let in Gerard who was standing there with a confused expression on his face.
"Is something wrong?" Pete asked.
"I have no idea how I got here since we only met today and you never told me where you lived…"
"Oh well! Come on in!"
The boys entered the house and immediately Pete turned to Gerard and gave him a passionate kiss.
"Make love to me," he whispered.
Gerard shrugged. "Okay." They kissed some more but as Pete's fingers started to unbuckle Gerard's studded belt, Gerard froze and then pushed Pete away.
"I'm not gay! Oh my god!" And with that he burst into tears and ran away.
Pete was so distraught that he went into his room and cut himself. And he accidentally went a little too deep. As he bled on his bedroom floor, he cried and let his tears mingle with his blood, thinking of Gerard and how much he loved him, but how much Gerard hurt him.
He closed his eyes… and could not open them again.
Pete woke up in a hospital bed, staring up at Gerard.
"I thought you were dead," Gerard cried. "Your alcoholic hooker of a mom found you and brought you in here. She somehow knew to call me though we never met and she shouldn't have had my phone number. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I really am gay!"
"Oh my god! I love you so much!" Pete whimpered. The boys kissed and outside the hospital buzzed on, unaware that two boys were completely in love.
The End. Lmao
I used Pete and Gerard on purpose, so this is not a fanfic in anyway. So don't complain. And don't be all "scene is this and emo is that omg you got it all wrong." That was not the point of this. Thanks.
And thanks to that friend from my top AN for letting me steal her…name sort of…