A/N: This is a rather stupid little one-shot. I made it up a while ago and found it on my computer, just sittin' there. Constructive criticism, but no flames, if you please! Enjoy!

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Happily Ever After With Onions

Once upon a Time, there was a Beautiful Princess. This princess, you see, had been cursed when she was a baby (as most Beautiful Princesses tend to be). She had to find a prince before the age of 21, else she would lose the Princess-y Beauty she had been bestowed as a baby. The idea of having an un-princess-y princess horrified the royal family (including the princess herself), so they decided that if she did not find a husband in time, she should no be called a princess. So on her 20th birthday, she had all willing, eligible princes in the land (and close to the land) come to the castle. The first prince that showed up was too proud, the second and third too short, the fourth and fifth too tall. The princess sent these away on sight. The sixth and seventh were too rude, and so on. The king and queen were beginning to think that their daughter was a bit picky-but then, they hadn’t even met the princes.

The princes who did not get sent away in the first few minutes of their arrival stayed the night at the castle. The next morning half the princes that were left (which was three, if you’re wondering) left on their own from what they saw of the princess at breakfast. Because, you see, this princess was in love with onions. She loved them so much that she had them at every meal: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She had for breakfast eggs with chopped onions, pancakes with onion syrup, and sliced onions on the side. You can see why the princes were rather frightened.

But it was not just the onions themselves that made the poor young men scramble for their horses, it was the princess’ onion breath that scared them away. The princess had been eating so many onions for so many years that her breath permanently smelled of onion. The other half of the princes fled the following evening.

When the last of them had gone, the princess sat in her tower and despaired. How was she to find a husband in time? Soon, word crept across the lands that the princess had onion breath and she became known as “The Onion Princess”.

The day of her 21st birthday came with no princes, therefore no husband. So, packing a few belongings, she had to leave the castle, for she was no longer a princess.

Five years later, after wandering about the countryside, she came to a farm. But not just any farm, it was an onion farm! The man who ran the farm (that is, the farmer) was a kind, single, but not-really-handsome man. The princess decided to take the farm’s onions for her food and water from a nearby stream for drink.

This went on for a while until one day, the young farmer came to harvest the onions in the area where the former princess took from. She saw him and so hid behind a bush. She noticed as he was making his way towards the area, and humming, he was eating an onion like one would eat an apple! This man is perfect for me! He surely will not mind onion breath if he has it as well! She thought.

So, what she did was this: before he could notice her, she crept out from behind the bush and started eating an onion just like the farmer was. The farmer caught her, of course, but when he realized that she loved onions as much as he, he fell madly in love with her, and she madly with him. And so, after they were married, they decided not to live in the castle, but on their onion farm. And they lived happily ever after with onions.

The End