silence bleeds

silence drips from (your) broken lips as words
bleed from open wounds carved into (my) skin.
for some reason, i hope you choke on the words
that are caught in your throat (and we all know
that i coughed up the memories that mean too
much to me and the ones i couldn’t bleed away).

and darling, i love the way they told me how pretty
i was because i had lost some pounds (only if they
could see the vomit and me with a finger down my
throat saying, if she doesn't like me then i must be
doing something wrong). but this (bleeding) girl
wouldn’t be caught dead telling herself that she
has an eating disorder because i was (am) already
a sorry excuse for a girl so why add to the list?

i hope you know my love for you(r friendship)
led me behind closed quarters in a room with
dim lighting and a strange woman saying, let’s
start from the beginning, as i sat on the couch,
doused in tears with sleeves covering scars and a
shattered heart thinking, where does this begin?