Left Behind

Abandoned

Not quite true

Rejected

Not really that either.

Just left behind

The others have left me

They’ve grown up

Without me.

And now here I am

Wasting away

Waiting for the day

When I will be considered this too.

I always thought I was pretty

Always thought I was beautiful

Always knew it

Until now.

I cannot wait until the day they realize it

And really leave me behind

For good

No other reason to stay behind either.

Leave the loser behind

She’s not good enough

At least not yet

Hasn’t grown up enough to our tastes.

The support I’ve given

As much as I could

Just hoping

That maybe I wouldn’t get left behind.

This time

Just like the last times

I’m stuck now

Until apparently I grow up enough.

It’s not enough to be mistaken

For someone older

Because it’s not the same to them

They can’t wait.

They’re done

They’re finished

They’ve grown up

And I apparently haven’t.

Not compared to them

Not compared to anyone

Anything that comes my way

No, you’re not old enough yet.

You haven’t grown up

So sorry

But we’ve gotta leave you behind

We can’t drag you with us.

Oh,

But we’ll tell you all about it

We’ll give you hopes for when you do grow up

That is, when we’re not around to see it

Or even listen to how excited you are.

We’re too busy

Too tired now

Can hardly listen to ourselves

Let alone to your exciting news.

By the time we figure out

That you really did grow up

At the same time as us

We won’t care

But we’ll be sorry

We’ll tell you it over and over

And you’ll say you’ll forgive us

But deep inside,

These things are never forgiven

They hurt your world for good

Gone and damaged it just enough

So not true, they think.

They think you just

Can’t handle any of it yet

That you really didn’t grow up

With them.

You’re too young

They think

You wouldn’t understand

They think.

And then they tell you this

To your face

And expect you to understand

That you wouldn’t understand.

You understand perfectly

You understood everything

Better than all of them

Way before they even did.

Sorry to say it

But it must true

You’ve been left behind

And now you can’t do anything about it.

Move on from all this

Wait for the day

When all their worlds come crashing down

And you’ve just begun your perfect world.

They’ll hate you because you’ve got

Everything you ever wanted

And they’re worlds just ended

Only to begin something different again.

And when you walk down the street one day

And you finally know for sure that you’re grown up

And you see one of them you’ll think

Glad I wasn’t like them.

Even though it all hurt like hell

And they couldn’t even understand

Because

They’d grown up faster than me.

10/14/2005, Sarah Langer