(A/N: I got this idea from a book called "Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans". It is a brilliant book, and if you haven't read it yet, serious do, you will laugh until you die. Just like I did.)

My Daydreams; Reviewed by me.

Daydream#1: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, the Movie:

When?: This daydream usually occurs halfway through an eight hour shift, or when I have recently been reading my Johnny comics, or sometimes during a bout of insomnia.

Summary: I somehow meet Jhonen Vasquez, as he is working in pre-production on a theatrical version of his loverly series Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. I, in spite of the fact that I have NO acting experience (aside from being a top notch liar) , convince him to let me play duel rolls as Devi and Senior Diablo, when he briefly turns into a cheerleader to terrify Johnny. I enjoy some mild success and meeting a few famous people, but acting really isn’t my thing. Johnny is played by Davey Havok of AFI, with whom I share a brief, but meaningful, romance with. Although we make a ridiculously attractive couple, it just can’t work out. Davey is uninterested in my fervent Mormon beliefs, and I just cannot live the vegan lifestyle faithfully. However, we remain close friends after a relatively peaceful break up.

Rating: two and a half stars. ...A fairly common daydream for any young woman with an overactive imagination and a fondness for gothic/underground culture, some details make up for the overall uninteresting and unimaginative plot. The soundtrack is rather brilliant, featuring songs from AFI, Type O Negative, Nine inch Nails, Interpol and Placebo.

Daydream#2: Queen Ailsa!:

When?: During church, after someone mentions the story of Esther and King Nehemiah.

Summary: The year is 2010, and America has fallen as a democracy. A monarchy arises and takes control of the remaining people who live in the chaotic, apocalyptic society that now exists on the north American continent. The Mormon people are enslaved, like the Jews of old, I and my family are sent to the royal city (usually Las Vages, or Miami). I am forced to the royal palace to work as a sort of scullery maid, where I catch the eye of the young king of America. With a plan only half formed, I seduce the king, then use my influence over him to free my people!

Rating: one star. The unique costumes and obscure religious references just could not make up for the abhorrent acting and over-all depressing tone of a story that just takes itself way too seriously.

Daydream#3: Ailsa’s Suicide:

When?: During Math exams or while listening to celebrities talk about politics.

Summary: This daydream has little set up, I usually just grab a razor and slit my wrists (vertically) or sometimes my throat. Or, I jump out a window/over a cliff/off a building/into a boyd of water.

Rating: two stars. this should really only have one star, but I added the second just because I want to pretend like I understand the great hidden meaning, that everyone says is behind this pointless, overly pretentious daydream. Also, the editing sucks.

Daydream#4: Ailsa Flies:

When?: While writing letters to missionaries.

Summary: I am selected for a controversial and very secret program of experiments, with a nameless and faceless branch of modern science. Their goal is to use advanced gene/medical technology (the same kind used to grow a human ear on the back of that mouse), to give human beings wings. The process is painful, but the pay is good, and after months of experimentation, I begin to grow very large feathered wings. When the experiments are done, I am capable of flight and begin work as a flying free lance assassin.

Rating: three stars. It is just so weird that I have to love it. Even though there is no reason for human beings to need wings and the act of forcing them to grow on your back is probably some form of sin, (self mutilation), it just never gets old. I would like to see some of the minor characters in this daydream have more prominent roles in the overall plot.

Daydream#5: Professor Lillywhite:

When?: While applying for colleges.

Summary: I secure a teaching position at a high school after earning my bachelors degree in English (education major). My writing class is difficult, yet enjoyable to my students, who are all unique, confused young people, looking to me to guide them through this difficult time in their lives. As I am teaching my students valuable philosophical and life lessons, through writing, my own career as a novelist begins taking off. I have a small cult following of readers, including some of my students who are inspired to be writers themselves. Several of the projects and stories I helped my students with, become published best-sellers.

Rating: two stars. I just can’t get over what a complete egomaniac I am. As a real school teacher, I would probably be ignored by my annoying students, whose parents hate and complain about my controversial teaching methods and philosophies, on a regular basis, until I am eventually forced to leave the school and either work as a councilor at another school, or a prison.