Obsession

It wasn't my fault that the obsession started. It was not of my initiative or volition, nor was it of my own free will. But if it had left me alone, I never would have cared, never even have known of its existence. Yet, the fiend has cursed me no end. There will never be a way to ignore its painful, pitiful silence in the night as I ignore it only for sleep, the terrible, horrible beast that claims its mark upon my very soul!

For, you see, I love it, even as I abhor it so greatly; I cannot tear myself away from it. In doing so, I would both be killing myself as well as it. I am a wretch, a madman; why do I let myself live this way, a slave to such an unfeeling, cold, ungrateful being such as it is! If I ever tried to, or wanted to (for that matter), free myself from it, I should not be able to do so, and my efforts would yield nothing. The entity has grown upon me, intertwined with my very soul and mind, filling my every thought in my vulnerable brain and cluttering every word as it comes from my foul lips.

Is there no freedom in this world? Is there no light? Is there no way for me to again become the master of this monster, from whom I cannot be parted for more than an instant, or shall I forevermore remain its obedient and humble servant? Most men in my position would influence their innate, masterful power over this being and dominate it. Hell, most men would not even be in my position, circumventing it entirely! But I—I, for one, cannot do as they do. Oh no, of course not I.

I am weak! I admit the fact! I am weak and tired and cannot play up to this battle much longer! If this entity, so cruel and calculating as to almost be supernatural, does not let me free very soon, if it shall hold me in its strangling embrace forever, I shall die without a thought. That fact is inevitable. Yet, if I am disengaged from it, however, I shall also die. What a position I have put myself into.

Oh demonic, diabolical, vindictive, malicious, pitiless, callous, heartless and vicious brute! Let me be human again; liberate my hands and brain, let me walk away! Surely it is little enough to ask, for what is rightfully mine that was so unkindly taken away from me? That is it; that is all I ask.

If the heart-devouring thing were to ever let me free again, I would solemnly vow on the spot to never in my life, go near another computer. Ever.