Are… are you there? Are you listening God?

Laying in the dark, the silence pressing in on me, I wonder.

I… I mean, I was just wondering, because sometimes it seems like you’re not.

I shouldn’t be thinking these things, but still I want to know.

Why… why did you let so many bad things happen? It seems like everything I hear now is… is so bad. Everybody’s dying.

I know I shouldn’t be wondering, I just can’t help it. I don’t want to wonder. Before, I knew what was what, but know… now I have no idea.

Are you making the bad things happen God? Are we being punished? Did we do something wrong?

Why won’t these questions stop?! I don’t want them, please, I was happy before.

But God, I thought you loved us. Why are you making us hurt? Does the Bible lie? Are you not as nice as it says?

Maybe it is just the Bible; after all, it’s been translated how many times? But if the Bible’s wrong, what’s right?

Are you sure you’re there God? I just want to know. Can you give me a sign? It doesn’t have to be big, just let me know that you care.

What if he doesn’t care? No, stop! I want my questions to end! I’ve tried to ignore them, but they won’t go away.

I guess you have other people to listen to. Why should you care what little old me is wondering? Maybe you’re too busy; you can’t hear us all at once.

I’ve tried reading the Bible, I go to church every week. I’ve talked to the priest, though I didn’t mention my questions.

But shouldn’t you be able to hear us all? They say you’re all-powerful, so why can’t you know what I’m saying, as well as the Pope?

I’m always so guilty in church. I should be accepting, believing what they say, but these questions won’t go away!

Are… are you not as powerful as they say? Is that why the bad things keep happening? Was the Bible lying again?

What can I do? I’ve tried everything to make these questions end but still they persist. Maybe, just maybe, I should let them happen. I was happy before, but trying to end my questions hasn’t made me go back to that. Maybe the questions just need to be asked, just allowed to exist. Maybe if I let them, they’ll go away.

Did… didn’t you tell people what to write in the Bible? I… I can’t remember. If it really happened, that would mean you basically told them what to write. But… but the Bible says one thing and you do another. Am I… am I wrong? Are you really doing what the Bible says? If that’s true though, what about all those bad things? I don’t understand what’s going on. I’m so confused. Can you show me? Please, all I’m asking is a little guidance! I want to follow you, I was happy following you, but please let me know. …If you’re not what the Bible says, does that mean you’re not there?

I can’t believe I just thought that! What is wrong with me I think I’m going insane.

It’s just… it doesn’t seem like what they said about you is true, so… so maybe… maybe you’re not really there. I… I guess I can’t help wondering God, it never seems like you’re there.

Why? Why don’t they end? I’ve been trying to let the questions happen, but they’re not going away, I’m just having more.

I’m asking again, are you there God?

I wait, breathless, in the silence, impenetrable darkness the only sight, for something, anything at all, but nothing happens.

I guess you’re not there. I guess you’re not real.

I guess I’m right.

A/N: For those of you who didn't figure it out, the italics are prayer, and the normal is private thoughts. This is autobiographical to a point (I'm not saying to which point, you can guess if you want), so it's very dear to my heart. All reviews will be read and appreciated, flames included (although do keep in mind that they're not my favorite kind of review.