Brothers

A. always picked on me; I suppose it’s just what older brothers do. He’d force me to play chess with him, or try to get us to get him a glass of water when he was in charge. I have many memories of Legos and Lincoln Logs, cardboard computers, and homemade amusement park attractions in the closet. B. has been there as long as I can remember as well. For the longest time he was simply a cute, though rather annoying, little boy. I always cared a lot about him though. I was the big sister, the girl he would look up to… I hope. B. always let his emotions get the best of him, which sometimes makes it hard to get along. But I always know when he is genuine. I love A. and B. dearly, as well as 1 and 2. But this isn’t about them, as much as I want them here. It was a long time before C. came along. C. was an interesting kid, very difficult to understand and to teach. He was one of the smartest kids for his age I believe, but it was always difficult to get anything to really enter his head. But I miss him. I hope he’ll come around again someday. Sometime around then, I met D. D. and I quickly became very close. He helped me through the hardest months of my life. He helped me when C. and 3. left. I think I helped him too. He’s been away for a while now, and every day I hope that I may get another letter. I wonder how he’s doing now. I miss him. E. and I also quickly got along. He left for a while as well, but he’s back again. Sometimes I wonder where these connections come from… why I can feel so close to someone I hardly know. But he is my brother too. I hope E. will be able to come out soon. I am separated from A–E. No wonder I am lonely most of the time. I met F. recently. Like D. and E., I quickly felt that connection. Sometimes I am confused about our friendship, but it’s not too bad. He’s been as good of a brother to me as A. and B. Sometimes better, and at other times, worse. But that’s to be expected, nobody is perfect. Even though he is here, I still feel distant from him often. Perhaps that is my fault though.

I wish all of my brothers could be here, especially A. and B. I wish I could see C. again. I wish D. would write me. I wish E. would come to school this winter. I wish F. could understand. But if wishes were fishes….