Greetings all! My creative writings class strikes again. Well, actually... this was done before the poetry but I didn't get the assignment back until today. I luv fractured fairytales Enjoy

Prince Charming

Once upon a time, in a kingdom that isn't actually all that far away, there was a dragon problem. And when I say dragon problem, I mean that the lovely princess was a terrifying menace. Her parents had spoiled her past the point of redemption, and they didn't know what to do.

Then one day, out of the blue, a dragon dove out of the clouds and snatched the princess out of her tower in a scaly blur of red, amber, maroon and gold.

“Help meeeeeeeee!” Squealed the princess as the dragon flapped away with his prize.

When the dragon was but a dot on the horizon, a simultaneous “Huzzah!” was shouted all over the kingdom. Freedom at last! The terrible princess would surely be eaten. Their worries were- wait! Who's that? Coming out of the forest on his white steed. It isn't... It couldn't be... It is! It's Prince Charming!

“Is it to my understanding that a dragon just took your princess?” The valiant knight asked a nearby peasant.

“Ummm... Yeah, I guess...” Replied the peasant.

“Right then. ONWARD!” Cried the knight as he spurred his predictably named horse Silver. He galloped for days and night to reach the basalt-encrusted lair of the dragon.

Darn it! Stupid knights, thought the peasant, he'll rescue the terror and bring her back.

“I must tell the king!” The peasant declared with an upraised finger. He took off running and fortunately, or rather unfortunately, he was extremely dyslexic and went the opposite direction of the castle.

Meanwhile, we shall check on our stolen beas- beauty, yes, er... beauty.

“You vile beast, let me go! I won't stand for this. Do you know who I am? I expect the entire kingdom will come for me soon. Do you hear me? YOU-”

“Enough already!” The dragon roared. “Can't you for one single minute shut your big, fat mouth?”

The princess was shocked into silence for a couple of seconds, then began to scream at the dragon. The poor dragon hunched close to the ground and covered his ears with his claws.

“Make it stop...” He moaned.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, trumpets blared.

“Fear not, for I shall save thee!” Prince Charming proudly announced from atop Silver.

“See! You see!” Cried the princess, “I knew they would send someone for me, and a prince no less.”

She gave the dragon a smug look. The dragon flicked his forked tongue in reply.

Prince Charming drew his sword and kicked Silver into a charge down the valley slope toward the dragon and princess. He halted before the dragon... and wheeled his mount to face the princess!?

“Fear not, gentle serpent, for I shall save thee from this vociferous wench.”

The prince lept form his horse and swung his sword before the dragon and princess could react. He cut through the cloth of her long gossamer gown and picked up the ribbon as the dragon looked on with curiosity. The princess finally started struggling and screaming for help.

“You're supposed to rescue me! ME! Oh, someone help me!”

The prince seized her by her long blond hair and began to gag her with the ribbon cut from her dress. Finally, the princess' voice was muffled. Prince Charming stepped back to admire his handy work.

“Thank you Charmy.” The dragon said, “I thought she would go on forever.”

“Twas no problem, old friend. Shall we go reap some spoils?” Charming replied.

They both began laughing hysterically. Silver looked up from munching grass and rolled his eyes. College buddies...

Owari

Yay! This story always makes me smile. And I wrote it!

Review please!