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I like where we are,
When we drive, in your car
I like where we are... Here
Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here
Well, you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper's "Hello, I miss you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms
I like where you sleep,
When you sleep, next to me.
I like where you sleep... here
Our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here
Well, you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper's "Hello, I miss you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms
Here In Your Arms
HelloGoodbye
Chapter 13
swimming
When they returned to school the following Monday Teddy as anxious to see if he could find Penelope, but at the same time he knew he should just stay away. It would be best for both of them. Like Colby said, she deserved somebody better than him. Unfortunately he couldn’t get her out of his mind.
During third hour class he got called into the principal’s office. He sat in the same leather chair he had been in when the principal had assigned Penelope as his tutor, in fact he was the entire reason Teddy had met Penelope.
“Evening Theodore,” Mr. Martin greeted with a smile as he came into his office a few minutes later. He set a large manila envelope down on his desk which Teddy assumed was his file and opened it while putting on his wire-rimmed reading glasses. Teddy sat forward in his chair and fiddled which his hands as he waited for Mr. Martin to continue.
“Well, it seems like you brought your grades up enough last semester to stay on the tennis team. Congratulations.” Mr. Martin said with a smile. He seemed to be done talking as Teddy stared at him in confusion.
“That’s it?” he uttered looking around as if it was a joke or something. “That’s all you called me in here to tell me?”
“Yes, I thought you’d be happy. You are no longer required to go to any tutoring sessions with Miss Hasselhoff and you can return to your regular scheduled lessons.” Mr. Martin pointed towards his door in dismissal. Teddy wasn’t ready to leave though.
“Woah, wait a second Mr. Martin, what if I want to continue my tutoring session?” he asked. “I mean, like you’ve said, they’ve helped me tremendously and I think it’s vital that I continue.”
“If that’s the case, Theodore, Ms. Pine can put you in contact with the name and numbers of many of our students in good academic standing who would be all too happy with accommodate your schedule—”
“What about Penelope?” Teddy insisted sitting on the edge of his chair and hanging off of every word Mr. Martin said. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe he was being dismissed so easily.
“Ms. Hasselhoff has removed herself from tutoring services for the time being.” Mr. Martin replied slowly as if sensing the delicate nature of his words. Teddy blinked and almost chocked on his saliva.
“What? What does that mean?” he shouted.
“Control your temper, Mr. White.” His principal warned. “It means Ms. Hasselhoff has wished to cease her tutoring with you for the remainder of the year.”
“Can she do that?” he insisted.
“Under normal circumstances, no, but seeing at this seems to be a very fragile topic I’ve allowed her the privilege of removing herself from our system.”
“Why? Why would you do that?”
“Because, it seemed like the best thing to do.” Mr. Martin said standing from his chair and directing Teddy towards the door. “Now, I’ve had enough arguing with you for one day, Mr. White. I suggest you return to your class and pay attention so another tutor is not needed.”
Teddy stood up too quickly as his chair to the floor while he stalked out of the office. He briefly heard Mr. Martin warning him about his temper but he didn’t listen as he slammed the office door shut behind him. He couldn’t believe Penelope had stopped all of their tutoring sessions. He knew he screwed up but he didn’t think she would take it this far. He assumed she would get over it after a couple of days and they would go back to being the fun loving friends—he was hoping more than friends—that he assumed they were. That must be his problem though. He assumed way too much.
“She had her session time switched.” She replied after staring at him in quiet for a few minutes. Teddy swore and started to pace in front of the couch. His appearance was ruffled and un-kept and he hadn’t shaved or slept a full night in quite a while. He probably looked like a possessed teenager with his red-rimmed eyes and un-ironed clothes.
“Why?” he insisted in an almost whine as he sank onto the couch and threw his hand over his face to block out the florescent lighting.
“Why do you think?” Nancy said with a short laugh leaning forward with her elbows resting on her knees to stare at him.
“Who knows?” he muttered slumping further onto the couch.
“Oh stop this.” Nancy snapped throwing her pad and pen down on her couch and staring at him. Teddy opened his eyes and looked at her as she continued. “You and Penelope have both been moping for the past few weeks and it’s getting incredibly old. Both of you are too stubborn and too stupid to forgive each other at the same time. One of you always has to be screwing up and rubbing something in the other’s face and somebody always has to be forgiving the other person at the wrong time. You should be locked in a room until you can work out your problems and go on with your lives because god knows the rest of us want to!” she hollered.
Teddy sat up straight on the couch and listened with ears open. So Penelope was just as miserable as he was. That brought a ray of hope to his spirit as a smile spread across his lips. Maybe Nancy was good for something after all.
His friends thought he was going crazy. They didn’t understand his sudden obsession with finding her and he was staring to think the same thing. It was just a nagging feeling in the back of his mind and a hollow pit in his stomach. He knew it was from missing Penelope. She’d done something to him in the past months that he was never going to forget. She’d changed him whenever he was around her and loosing that feeling was killing him.
All he did nowadays was drink and mope. That’s all he could think to do. It wasn’t like he was going on dates and he didn’t even hang out with his friends most of the time because they all had some girl or another hanging off of them. All of whom told Teddy to forget about Penelope. It wasn’t as easy as they all thought it was to just forget her. She wasn’t a light bulb he could switch on and off in his mind. She was super glued there and wasn’t leaving.
He tried her house a few times but nobody answered. He went so far as to shout at her window until her brother turned on the sprinklers her nosy neighbor threatened to call the cops if he didn’t leave them alone. He didn’t go back to her house, needless to say.
“Hey,” Jen said coming into his room where he was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. That was his newest hobby now.
“Hey,” he muttered in reply.
“What’s up?”
“Now a whole fucking lot.” He muttered. “You?”
“Andrew and I were going to get a pizza at Mario’s. Do you want to come?” she asked.
“Nope.” He replied slowly as his dry lips smacked against each other. He licked them over in order to give them some moisture though he didn’t know why he bothered.
“You have become so pathetic.” Jen muttered taking a seat on the end of his bed and crossing her legs while staring at him.
“Whatever.” He shrugged.
“No seriously. The Teddy I know has never gotten so worked up over one girl. The Teddy I know wouldn’t be sitting on his bed moping but he would be out trying to make things right.”
“I’ve already tried.” He muttered in reply.
“No you haven’t. You’ve just begged.”
“What do you call the numerous times I’ve attempted to track her down? What do you call going over to her house until I get threatened and given a shower? What do you call everything I’ve done in the past few weeks? She’s completely disappeared from my life, not the other way around.”
“I call that begging.” She muttered with a shrug. “You need to do something big. Something that she can’t ignore. Something that’s going to grab her attention and make her hold on for dear life. Something that she’ll never forget and will point her out among a crowd because then she’ll know you really mean it.”
“You’ve been going over this speech in your mind, haven’t you?” he asked with a grin looking at the cheeky smile on her face.
“Yes I have. And it went pretty damn well if I do say so myself.” She grinned before hopping off the bed. “Glad I could make somebody’s life wonderful.”
“Hey wait,” he stopped her thinking of something that had been nagging at the back of his mind for a while now.
“Yessum?”
“Is Michelle okay?” he asked. Her smile fell and she crossed her arms over her chest as she stared at him in confusion and shock.
“Why do you ask?”
“No specific reason.” He muttered.
“Yes there is.”
“It’s just—I remember the New Year’s Eve party—how she wasn’t drinking—and then when Scotty fell he sort of hurt her stomach—and I wasn’t sure if she might be—or have been—pregnant in any way.” He said slowly and stuttering on a few words.
Jen stared back at him in silence for a few seconds before staring around the room in nervousness and scratching her arm. “She might have been—pregnant—but—”
“But she’s not anymore?” Teddy finished for her. “Or she still is and isn’t telling Scotty?”
“Scotty—he wouldn’t understand.” Jen muttered. “You know he would freak out, and neither of them can handle a kid.”
“Please tell me she didn’t get an abortion.” Teddy whispered. His family was strictly pro-life and he didn’t see abortion as a choice when it came to Michelle and Scotty’s situation.
“No—” Jen replied quickly and quietly. “She’s just not keeping it. She’s going to go on ‘vacation’ with her mom in May. She’ll actually be going to St. Judd’s to have a c-section and then a closed adoption right after.”
“Her mom knows?”
“Of course her mom knows.” Jen rolled her eyes. “She was the one who took Michelle to the doctors and had her checked out.”
“Then why doesn’t she tell—”
“Because it’s her choice and she doesn’t want him to know.”
“He has a right to know, he’s the father!”
“And look what kind of father he would be!” Jen screamed. “Do you honestly think Scotty is the best example of a parental figure? He can’t even be loyal to Michelle and their not even dating!”
“Exactly! Their not dating! So why should he be loyal to her?” Teddy said.
“Wow. Now I understand why Penelope hate’s you so much.” She muttered glaring at him.
They were silent for a few seconds before Teddy opened his mouth to reply. Jen beat him to it though. “Scotty doesn’t know and he’s not going to find out so don’t tell him. Please Teddy, just don’t tell him.”
“I can’t promise you that.” Teddy muttered. Jen didn’t respond as she glared at him. She left a few seconds later slamming his bedroom door behind him. Now he felt even shittier than he had before she came in.
But she was right. He had to do something big to get Penelope’s attention. Besides he was tired of feeling like shit. He was going to make one last attempt at getting Penelope back and then he was going to give up. It didn’t help that he was tipsy while thinking up this brilliant plan and hardly knew if it would work at the time, but he still got Leo and Scotty to help him out. Guy wasn’t able to get out of Calculus since he was hell bent on passing it this time around and his teacher was a Nazi.
The three found this incredibly hilarious. He was going to have a little bit of fun for the trouble they were going to get into for doing this. After they got inside they locked the door and barricaded it with chairs so nobody could enter. Teddy turned towards the P.A. system with a glint in his eye. This had better do something productive or he was wasting a perfectly good buzz.
“How do you turn it on?” Scotty asked pressing a lot of different buttons and switches that he probably shouldn’t have been touching.
“The ‘on’ switch dip shit.” Leo said hitting Scotty over the head. He complained and hit him back until Leo hit Teddy over the head.
“Hey,” Teddy complained while holding the microphone. The P.A. system gave off a static squeak until he held the microphone away from it. The three guys grinned at their accomplishment.
“Hello?” Teddy said into the microphone before Leo grabbed it from him.
“Let me see that—” he hollered “Good morning gents and gems of St. Augustine! This is your host Leo Travis coming to you directly from the school office!”
“Shut up!” Scotty yelled grabbing the microphone away from him. “You just gave off our location idiot!”
“Where else would we be?” Leo said narrowing his eyes. “It’s not like they put these things in every room!”
“Both of you be quiet!” Teddy hissed taking the microphone from Scotty.
“No way man—” Leo grabbed it back. “I need to finish your intro” he cleared his throat before continuing. “On today’s program we’ve got a heartbroken guy who’s been beating himself up over the past few weeks because of a hot, tempting young blonde who can’t seem to reciprocate his feelings at the same time. But before we hear from him lets turn to our recently whipped man Scotty, who’s newest girlfriend Michelle is sitting in our adoring crowd right this second.”
He tipped the microphone in Scotty’s direction and put an evil grin on his face. “Uh—” Scotty replied confused as to what Leo was doing. Teddy was confused as well. They didn’t sneak into the office so Scotty could have microphone sex with his girlfriend.
This had happened a few days ago when Scotty blew up over Michelle talking to a guy on the football team. He practically ripped the guys head off when he gave her a hug. Michelle and Scotty got into a big fight before he grabbed her and kissed her. She then slapped him and told him he wasn’t allowed to do that. He said he could do that if they were dating, one thing led to another, and now people were taking bets on how long they would last. Apparently the bets were all going to Shannon, which shocked Teddy, since Michelle refused to put money on her own relationship.
“Hey babe!” Scotty finally said snapping to his sense. “I’m sure your looking sexy out there in your short uniform and really nice heels—”
“Okay enough sucking up on your part. Don’t ever let me hear you complimenting a girl on her footwear either.” Leo said pulling the mic back towards his face. “Now onto the main event. Ladies and gentlemen I give you our own leading man in St. Augustine’s fall drama, Theodore White!”
He shoved the mic in Teddy’s face which made him jump a foot in the air. He glared towards Leo and ripped the thing out of his hands, preferring to hold it in his own.
“Um—hello?” Teddy said tapping the mic which made a bunch of static go off again. He heard groans of complaint from Scotty and Leo before he stepped away and settled it again. Before he could speak there was a bang at the office door. Apparently Ms. Pine and Mr. Martin were back from their errands and furious. Leo and Scotty went to sit on the chairs so they wouldn’t move and hold the door close while Teddy spoke into the microphone quickly, yet steady so people could understand him.
“Hey everyone, I bet you’re all wondering why we’ve taken over the office and are entertaining you with our witty charm—” he saw Scotty roll his eyes “—so I’ll just get to the main point. This is for Penelope Hasselhoff. I know you’ve been avoiding me Pen and you’ve done a damn good job at it too. But I know you can’t hide from the P.A. system in this school so that’s what I’m going to do. Making you listen to me in the best way I can think of.
“For the rest of you who don’t know Penelope I just have to say that she’s an amazing girl. She’s opened my eyes to more things these past months than I’ve been exposed to in years. I know this sounds really cheesy but I don’t think I’d be who I am right now without her. I don’t even know if I’d be here, alive, now without her.”
“A little dramatic don’t you think?” he heard Leo mutter but ignored him.
“I got placed with Penelope last semester because I was in danger of failing a lot of grades and getting kicked off the tennis team. I know that’s like hell on earth right? Off topic, sorry, either way. Penelope was probably the best tutor I’ve ever had—which isn’t saying much because I’ve never had one beside my amazingly brilliant brother who’d gets way too frustrated with me—sorry, off topic again.
“And here’s something else that’s cheesy now that I’m thinking about it and probably sounds a lot better in my mind or written in some sappy love novel, but Penelope, you’ve not only opened my eyes and my mind to a lot of things but you’ve opened my heart—”
“Yeah, really cheesy” Scotty grinned.
“Aww!” Leo teased “Our little Teddy’s growing up.”
“Good Lord man do you want every girl in the joint after you?” Scotty added. Teddy rolled his eyes but continued on. He’d already come this far. Right?
“I mean it.” Teddy said enthusiastically while his friends laughed and gave him a cheesy ‘thumbs up’. “You’ve really opened me up to all sorts of possibilities about life and—everything that goes with life. I found out over these weeks without you that I don’t want to be the same guy I was at the beginning of the year, before I met you. I want to be the guy that I am when I’m around you. The guy you’ve made me be. I can’t say how many times I’m sorry for the things that have happened. I know I’ve screwed up a lot—”
“A hell of a lot—”
“More than a lot—”
“A lot a lot—”
“Would you two shut up?” Teddy hissed towards his friends. Of course everyone could hear everything that they were saying and the commotion outside of the office was not getting any better. They had gotten a key from the janitor and were pushing against the door as Leo and Scotty fought back. Both of the were pretty well built so Teddy wasn’t too worried.
“I’ve screwed up a lot and I realize that but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get you back, because—because—”
“Is he going to do it?” Scotty whispered.
“God I hope so,” Leo replied.
Teddy looked at his friends one more time before taking a deep breath “Because I love you. I really truly love you. And not in the platonic friendship way, but in a real, deep love kind of way.”
And that was when the office door finally opened.
Realization that his life was going down the hole dawned on him as he stared at a fly hanging upside down on the ceiling. He didn’t know why that interested him so much but it did. He figured that his life was going to be an endless waste of nothing if he didn’t shape up and move on. He took a deep breath and sat up straighter on the couch.
“I think I have an alcohol problem.” He muttered staring at Nancy. She stopped typing on her keyboard and turned to stare at him. Her glasses slid down her nose as they sat in silence for a few seconds.
“Why do you say that?” she said hesitantly obviously taking his freedom of speech one step at a time.
“Because, I can’t go a day without it,” Teddy snorted. “Not recently at least.”
“And before?” Nancy urged folding her hands on top of her desk and leaning towards him.
“Before I think I was just bored. I didn’t have anything interesting to do in my life. All I did was drink and play tennis. Sometimes I paid attention in school and that’s when I would get lucky and pass a test. Otherwise it was just a lot of drinking. A hell of a lot of drinking.”
“Well why do you think you have a problem now and you didn’t have one before?”
“Because I didn’t think I was missing anything in my life.” He shrugged attempting to keep his cool and not have a major breakdown. He didn’t even know if guys were supposed to have major breakdowns. He wasn’t about to be the first one though. “Then with Penelope, it was like I was a completely different guy. We had so much fun at whatever we were doing. We could be sitting in her car listening to music and I still left at the end of the day with some awesome jokes and just an all around great experience. She didn’t need to drink or smoke or anything to have fun, and it rubbed off on me.”
“And now—?”
“Well obviously I’ve screwed up, like you said.” He muttered.
“If you remember something I said during one of our earlier sessions, I told you you weren’t a bad kid, Theodore. I still believe that. Yes I think you’ve made a lot of bad choices in life and certainly screwed up a lot with Penelope, but you’re still a good kid. You still care and you still want to make a change in your life. And if you let me, I can help you.” She said with a small smile on her face.
What the hell? It’s not like he had anything else to loose.
He walked out to a standing ovation from the kids in the hall as his dad police marched him to his car waiting outside where he chewed off his ear while driving home. Teddy was disappointed because he hadn’t seen Penelope in the crowd of people applauding the guys. Scotty and Leo were still waiting for their parents to come pick them up. Which was real inconvenience since both of them drove to school and that meant both of their parents were going to have to pick them up in order to drive their cars home.
Teddy lay around his house Monday morning while everyone else was at school. Quinn promised to bring him his homework so he wouldn’t fall behind, which he really didn’t care about. He hadn’t heard anything from Penelope all weekend. Since he was grounded he wasn’t allowed to go out or use the computer. He must have checked his voice mail a million times over the weekend to see if she’d responded. She hadn’t.
He was watching The Price is Right when the doorbell rang. He was almost tempted to yell for somebody else to answer it before he remembered that he was the only one home. He lazily got off the couch and sniffed his armpit. Hey, he was a guy after all. He showered that morning but he felt rather gross from being so lazy all day.
Teddy opened the door in his gray flannel pajama bottoms and froze when he saw Penelope standing there. She looked small and timid in a regular pair of jeans and a plain maroon t-shirt that hugged her curves. Her hair was down and straightened and she had a plain amount of makeup on her face. He thought she looked gorgeous.
They stood there for a few minutes before Penelope took a deep breath and spoke. “Hey,”
“Hey,” he replied quickly shaking his head and snapping out of his trance. “Uh, come in.” he stepped aside and watched her body as she walked inside. He led the way to the living room and stood a few feet away from her to give her some distance.
They stood in more silence and stared at each other. Each of them opened their mouths to say something to each other, at separate times, but seemed to think better of it and closed their mouths again. It was like watching two fish gasp for air while flopping around on land, without the flopping around part of course.
“I heard you.” She finally said nodding towards him before rolling her eyes. “I mean last Friday, I heard your announcement.”
“I know.” He said nodding in agreement which he later thought was stupid.
“It was sweet.” She blushed.
“Thanks.”
“How long are you suspended for?” she asked. He wondered if she came there to have small talk but he was going to wait as long as she needed.
“A week.”
“I guess that’s not as bad as it could have been.”
“Yeah.” He nodded in agreement still staring at her and waiting. He took a deep breath to plunge into the deep end since she didn’t seem to know how to swim there.
“I’m sorry—” they said at the same time before smiling and laughing. Obviously he’d been wrong.
“But seriously—” he continued “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too; I shouldn’t have gone back to Kevin knowing it would upset you.”
“I shouldn’t have rubbed Emily in your face, knowing it would upset you.”
“Yeah, but I’m sorry for being so difficult.”
“I’m sorry for not sticking up for you all those times.”
“I’m sorry for giving you a hard time for all those times you didn’t stick up for me.” she laughed as he took a step forward. She took a step away and his smile dropped.
“What?” he asked confused. He thought they were on good grounds now. That they were patching things up.
“I like you Teddy.” She shrugged with her hands in her back pockets as she rolled her eyes which were filling with tears. “I do, in fact I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.”
“Then what’s the problem?” he asked ecstatic that she said she loved him.
“I just—I don’t know if I can rush into a relationship with you right now. Not after everything that’s gone on the last month. I mean I know I’m partly to blame and everything, but I don’t think it’s wise if we keep doing this to each other.”
“Then what do you want to do?” he asked; he was close to begging. “I’ll do whatever you want Pen, just—don’t throw us away.”
“I know.” She nodded wiping her nose and sniffing. “I don’t want to throw us away either. Because as much as I hate to admit it, we have something good, but I don’t know if you realize that.”
Teddy didn’t know how to respond to that. Did he realize what they had? Their bond that went a lot deeper than just the physical surface? Because of course he thought Penelope was gorgeous, now. But when he’d first met her he hadn’t had the same opinion and then once they got to know each other and he learned the what she liked and what set her off his feelings slowly grew to be something more.
“Yeah, I understand Pen,” he said shoving his own hands into his pockets. It seemed like a safe place to put them.
“I think we should take things slow.” She said after taking a deep breath, seeming determined to plunge on in her speech. “Because I can’t just throw away the feelings I have for you.”
“Me neither.” He smiled.
“So can we?” she asked.
“Take things slow?” he clarified as she nodded. “Yeah, I don’t see a problem with that.”
She seemed to let out the breath she was holding as a smile spread across her face. He nodded towards the couch where the two of them sat for the rest of the day watching daytime programs and laughing at the ridiculous characters in the soap operas. They ordered pizza for lunch and ate it on the floor of the living room with the game Monopoly spread between them. Teddy couldn’t remember having so much fun without being wasted, but then again he couldn’t remember being so happy in a long, long time.
Fin
A/N: Ahh! Who likes the ending? Cause I do. I was squealing with delight while writing it. I don't know about the rest of you but it took too damn long to finish this story. I had this chapter written the same day I posted the last one. Special motivation for some reason. I also posted Diary of a Teenage Nobody Volume II, in case all you Kyle lovers hadn't realized that yet. So go check that out and tell me what you think about the ending! Christopher's short story will be out soon. I don't have the paitence to write a whole story on him so I'm going to make it shorter because I only have specific scenes in my mind right now.Thanks for all the awesome love!
K