Okay, just to clarify: The reindeer walk on TWO LEGS, wear regular clothing, DON'T have hooves, but they DO have antlers, deer ears and deer tails and deer noses. Oh, and they don't get... er, furry... around the face... until about middle agedness.

It hadn't occurred to me until late that night and early the next morning- when I slept on a creeky, lumpy mattress surrounded by other snoring and smelly boys- that there would be training involved with this sleigh-pulling business. Actual, honest-to-God, training, proper diet, and exercise.

"I've got to get out of here," I muttered to myself. I sat up as quietly as I could and reached out for my suitcase, gently unlocking it and pulling out it's most precious cargo. Balder, my stuffed cat. Balder was old, and missing an eye, and torn in some places, and a violent shade of purple, but he was still the best friend I had.

No matter how sad that was.

I hugged Balder to me and stashed him away in my shirt, making sure that his head stuck out of my collar. I got out of bed- creak- and walked over to the window, pulling away the curtains. It was dark. Still. It had been just as dark when I had first arrived with Blitzen. I thought of glancing at him but decided against it. (I still kind of mad at him for ditching me today- yesterday- whatever. I never expected much out of life, but Goddammit, I had expected him to say something. Not just... run and hide.) I pressed my face against the freezing glass and tried to see as far down the academy's walls as I could. There was a ledge right outside the window, so I could probably run away from here by using that...

I pulled myself away from the window. This was stupid. I couldn't run away, not with the temperature at a constant below zero. And I shouldn't run away. I should at least attempt some training while I'm here, so that when I finally do fail, I can proudly say "At least I tried..." I would never really say that, but the thought was there.

Besides, getting this job really would help out the folks...

Stupid conscience. Stupid parents. Stupid Balder and stupid Blitzen. Stupid everything.

"I need some sleep."

The next day, after breakfast and some more public humiliation, we were all told to go to some other room in some other part of the building so that some elves could record all of our "information". Whatever that means.

There were four elves in all, and they took reindeer with names beginning with the letters A through M first. So I was alone for about a half hour. Stupid Blitzen and his stupid name... On the bright side, that Donner guy and most of his friends were gone, too. Except for Prancer, the guy who poked at my chest yesterday- but he wasn't really paying attention to me, so that was good.

I was lost in my own thoughts for a while and then I heard the most annoying laugh in the entire world. I looked over along with several other startled reindeer, and saw that the noise was coming from the guy next to Prancer. Prancer had curly dark hair and was really, really tall and muscley, while this other guy had bleached-blonde fly-away hair and was extremely skinny and effeminate. And yet his antlers were still longer then mine.

"Oh my God, Prancer, you are so funny!" he had a lisp. And then he laughed again. Well, it was more of a cackle, like a hyena who had inhaled way to much laughing-gas.

Prancer looked uncomfortable, and I felt a momentary pang of sympathy for him. It didn't last long. "Aha, well, actually, Donner was the one who said that..."

"Well then you're both funny!" Blondie poked Prancer with a really girly finger.

"Vixen, could you, uh, maybe, you know, shut up?" Prancer had evidently noticed the audience they had acquired.

"Why would I want to do that?" Vixen said even louder, cackling all the way. Prancer's shoulders sagged a bit, while Vixen just happened to glance in my direction. I looked away quickly, hoping he didn't see me staring. Vixen gasped and looked back to Prancer, whispering- his version of whispering, anyway, which was more of a regular indoor voice- "Oh my God, that's him isn't it? That guy Donner was ranting about last night? With the red nose?"

"Names N through Z, please!" yelped an elf. I sighed gratefully, and walked over to the elf that Blitzen had been speaking to a while ago. Speaking of which, I saw Blitzen out of the corner of my eye and looked over at him. He didn't look back at me, so I turned back to the elf in front of me. I guess I must have looked a bit angry because the elf seemed a little nervous when she looked at me.

"Um, name?" she stuttered.

"Rudolph," I answered.

"Age?"

"Twelve."

"Height?"

I paused for a split-second, and then said "Four foot nine" in a hurry. Red nose, no antlers, no friends, and very short. Yes, it seems the list keeps growing.

Apparently someone had overheard that elf interviewing me. I was just innocently waiting my turn in the lunch line when Vixen mysteriously appeared next to me and asked, "I saw a ladder upstairs in case you need a little help seeing over the sneeze-guard," the two bucks behind him snickered. They looked exactly alike, so I guess they were twins.

"Ahahaha, didja hear what Vix said, Cupid?" one asked the other.

"Hahahaha, I totally did, Comet. He said 'ladder'," the second one giggled.

"Hawhaw, short joke," Comet chortled.

"Hawhawhaw, 'ladder'," Cupid said again.

"Silence, my stupids!" Vixen motioned with his hand.

"Ahahawhawhaw! Stupid Cupid!" Comet laughed and pointed at his brother. Cupid huffed and crossed his arms.

During all of this, I had managed to grab my food (without the aid of a ladder, I might add) and was already walking at a hasty pace away from them. Vixen didn't say anything, but I could feel his glare like a knife in my back.

Reluctantly, I sat down next to Blitzen, since I really didn't have any other options. I didn't say "hello" or even ask permission to sit there. It was very rude, but Blitzen deserved it. About maybe three minutes passed before Blitzen looked up from his food and looked over at me, "Hi..."

I didn't say anything. Instead I stuffed my face with macaroni and cheese. Pretty good macaroni and cheese... Goddamn, this was good...

"...Are you mad at me?" Blitzen whispered. I looked over at him with what I hoped was a piercing glare. He just kept looking at me, and eventually I was the first one to look away. I wasn't going to give him an answer. And why should I? It's not like we were even friends... He's just that guy I know. Just that guy...

"Hey! You guys! You guys!" a buck that a recognized from Donner's party (1) came flying into the cafeteria toward Vixen and the twins he was with. The buck looked really panicked- or maybe really excited- I couldn't tell. Vixen grabbed him by the shoulders. To my surprise, he actually looked worried.

Fortunately, the four of them were standing close to my table, so I could hear them easily.

"Whoa, calm down, Dancer. What's wrong?" Vixen.

"Nothing's wrong, it's just, oh my God..." Dancer.

"What is it? What is it?" Cupid and Comet.

"I was just walking around the hallways with Dasher, and then we came up to this really huge door-" Dancer.

"Ooh, what were you doing alone with Dasher?" Cupid and Comet.

"-and so we opened it and it was really freaking heavy but when we did manage to get it open it was all crazy and-" Dancer again.

"Hey, Dancer. Punctuation is your friend." Vixen.

"Inside was this gigantic room-"

"Yes, large rooms usually come with large doors." Vixen again. I wished he would stop interrupting Dancer- I was trying to eavesdrop, dammit!

"Dude, shut up. So, anyway, this room was an entire forest, man! With like, huge, big-ass trees and grass and squirrels and shit!" Dancer finished.

"...And what exactly were you two on, again?" Vixen asked.

"We weren't on anything! I swear! I'm being fucking serious!" Dancer look pissed all of a sudden. "I'll fucking show it to you! Then will you believe me?"

"Ha, I have better things to do, Dancer, then go on some wild goose-chase with you, looking for some forest, that you say is inside a building, a building at the North Pole, I might add, that you probably just imagined on an acid-trip." Vixen crossed his arms and shifted his weight onto one foot, making his right hip jut out. I think that was when I actually started to hate him.

"Why are you such a fucking bitch, Vixen?" Dancer hissed.

"Someone has to be. Come, my servants!" he snapped his fingers at Cupid and Comet and they quickly flounced away. The twins had actually looked like they wanted to go with Dancer to look for that room, but they followed Vixen anyway. I guessed that they were two stupid to make their own decisions. Meanwhile, Dancer look pretty freaking pissed. He noticed me staring at him and stomped away. But not before glaring at me with such intensity that I thought my heart would turn into a boiling lump of slime.

"That was weird." Blitzen observed. I rolled my eyes then looked back at him.

"Hey, do you know if we have anything important to do today?" I asked. Blitzen looked surprised for a second, and then said, "That Keith elf said that we wouldn't be able to start training until Kringle-Claus got back from where ever he is, if that's what you're asking."

"So basically we can to whatever we want today?" I inquired.

"I... I guess so..."

"Good."

With that, I promptly stood up and threw my trash away, and then left the cafeteria before Blitzen could protest.

I wasn't sure what I was doing. Vaguely I knew that I was searching for that room Dancer was talking about, but I had no idea why I felt it neccessary to go all the way up to the dormitories and take Balder with me. Moral support? ...From a stuffed cat?

Yeah, pretty darn sad.

I had already looked everywhere I could think of on the first three floors, but to no avail. And now that I was on the fourth floor, I was starting to regret my actions. The fourth floor was dark and desolate and cold and- "Aaaeeggghh...!" I kept stepping in cobwebs!

"Should I just go back, Balder?"

Balder didn't answer. He didn't answer because he was tightly clutched against my chest, and not because he was an inanimate object. Yes, that's it. Ehehehahaha...

Okay, I'm leaving.

"Aaaeeeegggh!!"

Two things had just happened. One, as I had turned around to leave, a cobweb smacked me right in the face. Second, a gigantic door had randomly materialized in the wall next to me. I'm not sure which freaked me out more.

I stood there, staring at that big door for God knows how long, before I took one hesitant step toward it. The moon (still dark out, even though it was two in the afternoon!) shined through the window across the hall from the door, illuminating it. The door was rounded at the top, and a design of curling vines and leaves traveled up and down the arch framing the door. I took another step toward it so I could see the knob. It was pretty freaking huge; I'd need to use two hands to just turn the damn thing!

After a few more minutes of mental preperation, I thought "What the hell, just get this over with" and scuttled the rest of the way until I was right up next to that giant knob. I reached out with both of my hands and grasped it, realizing that they were numb from the cold. Balder chose that moment to slip out of my shirt and fall lightly to the floor, which caused me to look down quickly. And this, in turn, caused me to bash my head against the hard wood of the door. I let out a string of curses. And then I noticed that the door had mysteriously opened at the moment that I had banged my head, and now- because most of my weight had been on the door at that moment- I was falling forward into a warm, sunny forest. The grass was soft, so hitting it didn't hurt as much as it usually would have.

"Uuurrggh..." I took a moment to orient myself. Okay, so there really is a forest hidden away here, I thought. Now, my next quandary, I continued, is how come that door chose to open at that particular moment?

I crawled onto all fours, and quickly grabbed Balder from where he had ended up between my legs and looked up- up- up into the face of a really tall human. A really tall human who I guessed was the one who had opened the door from the inside. A really tall male human with black hair and stuble and beautiful blue eyes... and... And he was wearing a red suit with white fur lining... and...

Oh Jesus.

"Kringle-Claus...?"

(1) Ahahaha, Donner's party... the Donner Party... I crack myself up.

Here comes (St. Nick Kris) Santa (Kringle) Claus, here comes (St. Nick Kris) Santa (Kringle) Claus... How do like them apples?

How awkward for Rudolph, meeting Santa for the first time while on all fours... Heh... Eheheheh... (gets naughty mental image).

I hope this isn't too... weird. Whatever. Just review. xD

P.S. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!