My Fake Heart; Cataclysmic!
by Niki Lemonade The Epilogue Janis Erin Burkefield

She's just so damned breath-taking like this. Lips parted, chocolate brown eyes lidded. She usually washes off her make up before I come over, so her light brown lashes are free from the dark mascara, softness lining the contrast of her darker irises to the whites of her eyes. Such a strange, beautiful dichotomy I sometimes wish I'd never noticed.

She claims sometimes that I was the one who made her fall for me. If I did, it wasn't intentional. In the beginning, she was just the cute, funny, freckled redhead that made me make noises no one else had ever been able to illicit from me. We dated about two weeks, then I ran from her with the half-assed "I don't want to be exclusive, but I know that'd hurt you" line. Truth was, I found it disturbing that unlike with anyone else before, I didn't even dream of another girl. She was my every romantic though, the basis of every fantasy. But I lied to myself like I lied to her, and tried not to think of her.

Then came the call from Shayna Langly.

"Hey, honey!" came my friend's honeyed voice through my cell phone that Friday night.

"Shayna, you're way too wired. You could barely sit still when I drove you home today," I said irritably. "Lemme, guess, you finally got Zach to acknowledge your existence?" Shayna's unrequited lust for my cousin was something of great amusement for me.

"Bitch!" she screeched. "No, I acutally heard about this in third period, from a very agitated redhead." I felt my heart skip a beat. "See, I've been trying to decide whether I should tell you this or not," she babbled, "but in the end, I decided you'd be pissed if you heard from someone else, not me, ya know? Just imagine, if you called me all angry, only to hear me say, 'Yeah, I've known since third'..."

"So what the fuck is it?" I growled, interrupting her stream of words.

"I'm getting there!" she reprimanded. "Anyway, I asked Barker how she was going to get over you. She siad, 'Maybe I'll just have to find a rebound girl,' like she'd already found one!" I heard her take a deep breath and involuntarily flinched. "So, in your interest, since I refuse to believe that you dumped her so you wouldn't hurt her, since you haven't mentioned another girl since you two began dating, plus you actually almost smile when you see her, and you haven't bitched about your parents all week-and I know it's not 'cause you're actually getting along with them-"

"Shayna..." I groaned as she rambled.

"Oh, right! Sorry," she paused, then began again. "Anyway, I asked if she'd already found someone, she got all defnsive, and was like, 'So what if I have?' I laughed and asked who. She paused and muttered something. Then she said, more clearly, 'What would you care?' Then that girl she's always with, you know the one, came into the library, and she started blushing!"

My mind blanked for a moment, then I felt so angry. i didn't even know her name, but I wanted so badly to hurt her. Making my Natalie blush. I barely heard Shayna's voice anymore. I hope I told her goodbye before I hung up, but I can't be sure I did. Either way, I found myself sitting on my bed, my cell phone closed and tossed away from me. I began wondering that night how I would make her suffer.

"I want you back," I told her, pulling away and staring into her eyes with all the strength I could muster. Please, feel how much I need you, I thought desperately. I could've cried joyful tears when she reached for me.

Finally, I had her all to myself. Finally, she was all mine again. That single thought made me push on the gas pedal harder. Natalie's voice cam to me in my mind, Slow down, we'll get there! I smiled, wondering how she had gotten into my subconscious when she wasn't around. I turned into her driveway, ecstatic that she and I would have three hours to ourselves. I walked in slowly, quietly, willing the door into silence. I could just imagine her shriek of surprise.

Hearing her voice, I headed for her room. She must be on the phone. Or talking out loud to herself, as she was prone to sometimes. Then, I heard another female voice. McCrear...I thought with a twinge of hatred and fear.

"Natalie, just let it go. I don't want to talk about it," Amanda said weakly.

"Dammit, I'm supposed to be your friend! I don't like you keeping stuff like this from me."

"Natty, please, let it be-"

"Tell me or don't fucking talk to me ever again!" my girlfriend all but shouted.

"Natalie..." there was a hint of a sob in her voice. "I'm...I can't tell you. It'll hurt you." Suddenly I realized what they were arguing about. Amanda had never told Nat how her mom had found out she was dating a girl. Fear gripped me. I knocked on the door and entered slowly.

"You two need to calm down," I glanced at Amanda, who became petrified at the sight of me, then at Natalie who was surprised. "Nat if she has something she wants to keep to herself, let her. It's part of being there for someone," I said as I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, "knowing when to butt out and wait until the other's ready to tell you." Natalie bit her lip, but nodded.

"I'm sorry Manny, I didn't mean it," she said remorsefully.

"It's alright. I understand." She turned to me, light blue eyes full of comprehension. She knew why I'd stopped their fight. "I'll leave you two be. Call me if you want, Natalie." With an abrupt hug, Amanda left. As soon as she was out of the room, Natalie let her tears flow freely. "She can be so damn...ugh!"

I pulled her into a hug, wishing I could cry too.

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So there is an epilogue for you! It's got things from part one and from part two. I'm still working out some of the kinks in part two, plus I have no idea how this mother's gonna end. Gahh!!

Please be patient...in the meantime, enjoy the My Fake Heart! webcomic! Check my profile page for the address! Updated Tuesdays, Thursdays, and on occasion Saturdays. I'm only up to page seven so far, life's been hectic this summer (May-August) and I'm still trying to get some semblance of a routine put together from the chaotic shamble that is my day-to-day life. Once I do get fully settled in, I'll start My Fake Heart; Disastrous! Enjoy!

-Lemons