Snow White Queen, a Romance fanfic

Snow White Queen

There's a rhyme in my country that goes like this:

"Mirror, mirror on the wall: Who is the fairest of them all?"

My mother refuses to let that rhyme be said within the castle. Supposedly, it has some significance to a curse upon my family that has its origins in a queen many generations past.

To this queen was born a beautiful daughter. She grew jealous when the men's eyes shifted to her daughter and sought to have her killed. She failed and instead, the princess was rescued and brought back years later by a passing knight. The princess herself was a vain woman, and a fairy, angered by the way my family seemed to not learn from its lesson, doomed it in this way:

Every woman would be doomed to have their child outshine them in beauty and would turn against them until a child could come that would break the curse. This child would have unusual properties, and they would not have any children that would continue the curse.

The mirror hangs in my mother's bedroom. She stares into it every day; she thinks that I don't notice, but I do.

I am told that my mother wept with joy when I was born, when she was told that she'd had a son. She was convinced that she had broken the curse because how could a boy outshine her? She then refused to give my father any more children. Angry, despite his love for her, he began taking other women. I don't think my mother noticed.

My mother is cold and unreachable – and very vain. Very early on, she noticed that I was growing too beautiful for a boy. She was often told that I looked uncannily like her. Once I started attracted more attention than her, she locked me into a wing of the castle that only she and servants venture into.

I haven't seen a reflection of myself for seven years. There are no mirrors in this part of the castle, other than my mother's mirror.

My mother is beautiful. Even I can see that, though I don't have much to compare her too. She is pale as snow, and just as cold. Her dark hair sets off her pale skin and cold blue eyes, which often narrow in thought when she casts a glance my way. She is tall as well, and sweepingly majestic. All I want from her is a moment of love, or a moment of approval. But it seems that all I can garner from her is annoyance and anger.

There is little to do in this part of the castle. I have books delivered to my rooms, and I have taught myself to dance out of them and to read three languages, but I am starved for entertainment. I have taken to staring out the windows over the grounds of the castle, often eating an apple.

I have always liked apples. I don't really know why. Perhaps it's because I can see the apple orchard from my window.

I sometimes see people from my window. They never see me. I hear the servants talking sometimes, and from what I gather, my mother has told our people that I am gravely ill and cannot go outside.

I haven't been outside in seven years. I would love to walk under the sun once more.

But I watch the people outside go about their business; it fascinates me. People lead such full lives – but I don't. Is it any wonder that I'm curious about their business?

It was a day in winter, near my birthday, when a man I had never seen before walked through the gardens below. He looked up and caught sight of me standing in the window. I caught my breath. It was the first time anyone outside had seen me. He frowned and turned the man next to him, who I recognized as a guardsman. He said something and turned to look at me again.

He was unusual looking for our realm. He was golden; that's the only way I can think of to describe him. He had golden hair and skin, and seemed to glow in the scant sunlight. I couldn't take my eyes from him, afraid that if I did, he would vanish. I had never seen such a perfect example of male beauty. I had always imagined that the god Apollo would look something like him.

I am not naïve. I know that it is unusual for me to be attracted to men, but this was the first experience I'd had being attracted to anyone. Being locked up for seven years during your most formative sexual years (according to the books I've read) undoubtedly leaves little room for discovering whether you prefer women or men.

But considering the fact that I had never been interested in the servant girls, despite their occasional seduction attempts, I wasn't shocked at the revelation. I was only wondering who the strange man was.

He stared at me for a moment longer before shaking his head and continuing out of sight. I stared in the direction he had disappeared in until my mother came in.

"William, what have you been doing?" she demanded. I turned to look at her, puzzled.

"What are you talking about?"

"Prince Aurelius says that he saw you and now he wishes to be presented to you." She frowned at me. "I suppose we shall have to. Perhaps we shall have a ball in your honor, as we are approaching your eighteenth birthday." I strove not to look too eager. If I was correct in thinking that Prince Aurelius was the man I had seen from the window, I would do anything to meet him. My mother frowned at me. "Until then, stay here."

Now I wait anxiously in the hall before my birthday celebration. My mother put off bringing me from my room for as long as possible, having the seamstress come in great secrecy to make me clothing for tonight's fete. It's in shades of blue, in a fashion I've seen young men wearing. I'm also wearing a circlet, something I'm not used to. I usually don't wear signs of rank, mostly because I never leave my rooms.

The doors before me open and I hear the heralds announce me. The ballroom goes silent and they all turn to look at me. Taking a deep breath, I step out into the room and descend the stairs slowly.

I notice idly that all of the mirrors are hidden by tapestries. I wonder why.

The people begin to whisper to each other when they see me, which makes me feel very apprehensive. I look around and I see the Prince standing in a corner, watching me intently. He sees me looking and nods at me.

I walk further into the world, trying to emulate my mother's grace and poise. Instead, I am asked to dance by a giggling noblewoman. I acquiesce politely and dance with her. I manage to complete the waltz without mishap and I escape to the wall.

As I stand there, staring around, a soft voice says by my ear, "So the rumors are true."

I turn to look at the Prince. "Your Highness," I say softly. "What rumors?"

"Aurelius," he corrects. "We are equals. I was referring to the rumors about your beauty."

"Women are beautiful," I contradict. "Men are not." I say this despite the fact that I consider him the most beautiful being I have ever seen.

"Yet you are." He leans against the wall, smiling faintly. "I am told there is a curse on your family, and your mother thought she had ended it. When you began to surpass her in beauty, she locked you away so the curse would not manifest."

"That's ridiculous. I'm not as beautiful as my mother. It's simply impossible."

Aurelius raises his eyebrows. "Have you ever seen your reflection, Highness?"

"William. And no. Not for seven years."

"Then it's high time you have." He straightens and beckons to me. "Your mother has ordered all mirrors in the castle covered for tonight, but I know one she can't hide."

I follow him outside under the moonlight. Cast in moonlight, he seems to be bathed in silver. I feel as though I'm bewitched, and perhaps I am. He leads me to a pond and bids me to look.

I do, and I found myself staring into my mother's face, only softer and younger, and vaguely more masculine. I suppose it's the line of the jaw and nose that makes me seem less feminine, and the darker shade of my eyes that lends to my look, but I am surprised by how much I look like her. I am paler than even she, who was called Snow White, my skin fairly translucent. It's like looking at a piece of clouded glass. And the dark curls that spill over my forehead and past my ears simply make me look like a carbon copy of my mother in her youth.

Aurelius is watching my reaction closely. When I look up, I shake my head, still puzzled.

"Why would my mother be afraid of me, though?" I ask him. "I am a man."

He catches my meaning and smiles. "But there are men who are attracted to other men. In fact, there are a fair amount of them."

"Really?" He takes a step towards me, and his smile widens.

"Really." He bows to me and says, "After you, William."

My mother is in a rage today. She yells at me, something about Aurelius, but I'm ignoring her, thinking of how lovely he had looked in the moonlight. I take a bite of the apple that I had bribed a servant girl to bring me. My mother snatches it from my hand and glares at me.

"No more apples for you, William," she snaps, clearly furious. She storms from the room.

I heard her speaking to the mirror later that day. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall; who is the fairest of them all?"

"Though it pains me to say, your son is far lovelier, and so it shall stay, until his dying day," I hear the mirror respond. My mother growls angrily and I hear her stalk towards the door. I scurry back to my room before she catches me eavesdropping.

Mother returns later, bearing a basket of apples. "William dear, I'm terribly sorry," she says sweetly. "I don't know what came over me." She places the basket on a table in my room. "Have all the apples you wish."

I stare at the apples, which look delicious. I nod, and pick up one. Seeming satisfied, she leaves the room. I look at the rosy red fruit suspiciously, but it looks so wonderful that I give in and take a bite.

I notice the slightly bitter taste moments before I black out.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall; who is the fairest of them all?"

"Your son may be fair, but he is gone past all care. You, my beautiful queen, are the fairest to be seen."

You belong to me, my snow white queen…

No. Take him instead.

A bargain? Very well. There is something you should have…

Come for him later tonight. He will be drugged.

He belongs to me…

Wake up. Wake up, fair prince.

I come to in a place I've never seen before. The place seems to be made of ice, if the chill around me is any indicator. I am lying on a bed of furs, my long limbs sprawled. I sit up slowly, the taste of the bitter drug at the back of my mouth.

"Where am I?" I ask the empty room. My breath clouds before my face and I shiver. "Hello?"

There is no answer. Resigned, I decide to look around. I take a fur coat and sling it around my shoulders. Standing, I feel faint for a moment as the blood rushes to my head. I step forward, noting the carpets on the floor. They are beautifully designed, the colors blending into each other to create a riot of color.

I exit through the arch into what appears to be an antechamber. "Hello?" I call.

No answer.

I continue to wander through the endless icy halls, not seeing a single soul the entire time. I find myself in what I think is a throne room and I stand there, marveling at the intricately carved ice.

A voice says smoothly, "Prince William. I'm afraid that most of my court is away at the moment, but I trust I can fill any of your needs."

I turn to see a man who must surely be the king of this palace. He is imposingly tall, a shock of silvery white hair falling across his forehead, across which is a circlet of silver. He is clad in all white, something I find odd. His dark eyes frighten me, because they are hard and unforgiving.

"Sir, I'm afraid you have the advantage of me. May I ask your name?"

He smiles. "King Helado of the Unseelie."

I bow before my mind catches up with my ears. "Unseelie?"

"Surely you've heard of the two faerie courts," he says mockingly.

"Yes, of course."

"Your mother has bargained you away to us." He smiles alarmingly. "You belong to me, my dear." He takes a step towards me and strokes my cheek. "You look much like your mother when she was younger. It was such a pity when she returned home. She would have made a perfect queen." His hand is as cold as ice and I shiver at the contact. His smile only grows wider.

He takes my hand and pulls me to him. "I only hope you're as innocent as you seem," he murmurs into my ear. "It's only fun when they're yours to deflower." I shudder at his words, knowing what he wants and knowing I can't pull away. "I've been with men before," he continues in a dreamy voice, "but never a virgin male." His lips brush my eyelids lightly and I gasp at the chill. I recover my senses, knowing that no matter how seductive or attractive he may be, he won't love me. And I don't love him.

"No," I murmur weakly. "No." I push feebly at him. He releases me and raises one pale eyebrow.

"Unwilling? Very well. It's more fun to seduce, in any case." The king licks his lips and bows mockingly before leaving. I collapse against the wall, willing my heart to slow. I don't love him, I know, but tell my body that.

I'm not a fool. I know what happens when a man is aroused. It has never happened to me before, but I recognize the signs, especially when I look down to see the bulge in my pants. I sigh, wondering if the king would know how to fix this.

I clamp down on that thought immediately. No need to give the man ideas.

I return to my room, a sanctuary away from the prying eyes and hands of the king. True to his word, the palace is nearly deserted, though I see the occasionally figure pass by. They give me one disinterested look before continuing on my way.

There is not much to do in my room. They have left a book on the faerie, which I admit may be useful. Perhaps I shall read it to pass the time.

He belongs to me now.

He belongs to no one, Helado.

You're merely jealous.

No.

Don't be foolish. His mother made an agreement with me. I freed her long ago under the condition that I would later claim her as mine, but she offered me her son instead.

You don't own him.

The ice prince is mine. Stay back, Aurelius.

I don't know how long I've been here. If days are passing, I can't tell. It's really very odd.

I've finished the faerie book. While it was very informative, I found that it was not enough to satisfy my curiosity regarding the situation I am currently in. I found the library today – it's the only room not made of ice.

I sit on the floor, going through the books, looking for answers. There's the tithe, which involves someone being taken by the faerie, but from what the king says and how he looks at me, I suspect that he has plans other than killing me.

I see a plain black book among all the elaborately bound volumes and I reach for it curiously. When I open it, the title page leers out at me triumphantly, as though it's relishing in my surprise.

The Diary of Snow White

That's my mother's nickname.

Day 1

I wonder what this book is supposed to be used for. Perhaps it wasn't mine to write in, but I feel that I must write down what happens to me while I am here, as it is clearly no where I have been before.

I shouldn't have eaten that apple, I know. My mother had a look on her face when she offered it to me, like she was so happy. Perhaps that's why I took it – to make her happy.

Supposedly I'll continue this curse by turning against my child. Impossible. I promise, here and now, that I will never succumb to the curse. I will prevail, no matter what happens. I will not turn against my child, no matter how beautiful she may be.

The palace is filled with aristocrats who tell me why I am here. The original curse began with a poisoned apple. My mother called on the faerie to bring me here, away from her. She gave me to the king of the Unseelie.

I don't know what that means.

Day 2

I met the king today. He is handsome, I suppose. He says his name is Helado.

He tells me that my mother bargained me away in return for eternal beauty. I'm not surprised. Mother was obsessed with her own reflection.

Day 3

The king came to me today and told me that I am to be his queen. He tells me I'll be perfect, as I am the perfect complement to him in looks. I suppose it is true.

I suppose that means I am to remain here for the rest of my life. I must admit, it's not exactly a terrifying prospect. Really, I like it here. It's very beautiful, despite its coldness. But perhaps that's why I like it. I've always been fond of the cold.

I only wonder if anyone will bother trying to rescue me.

Day 4

There is a young nobleman here that the others tell me is from the Seelie Court. His name is Aurelius.

Oh, sorry. He's a prince. He's prince of the Seelie.

But lord, is he handsome. He is so unlike anyone I've ever seen. In all honesty, it is perhaps that exotic quality he has that draws me to him.

He smiled at me. It sent shivers down my back.

Day 5

I spoke to him today. He was very polite and kind to me. He tells me that the king admires me a great deal, but if I desire my freedom, I can strike a bargain with him.

He then warned me that if I returned home, I might find that I've been gone longer than I think. Time passes differently in the lands of the faerie, he told me.

I thanked him for his information and ran before I could embarrass myself further.

Day 6

Aurelius found me today and warned me that the king has plans for how I will become his queen. I told him that I don't love the king, as darkly seductive as he may be. He smiled and asked me if I had a sweetheart waiting for me.

I told him no, which was a lie, because of course James waits for me at home. But I don't think I love James. He is handsome, yes, but he probably only loves me for my beauty. In any case, I find myself wanting Aurelius more than my betrothed.

Aurelius told me that if I returned home, I might return in an unusual manner. I asked him what he meant. He told me that traditionally, those who returned required a kiss to wake them, as they would return in a slumber.

I smiled coquettishly and said that it might be difficult to find me someone to wake me. He didn't say what I wanted him to, which was, 'I'll wake you', but laughed, saying that it was impossible for me to not have any takers. I laughed too, but I went back to my room and cried. It's all too much. I just hope he'll see what I feel soon.

Day 7

I cornered Aurelius today and asked him if I would ever see him again if I left. He assured me that he would visit my court at some distant date. I frowned and told him that I wanted him to return with me. He smiled.

'I have other duties,' he reminded me. 'I have my own people to attend to.'

I sighed, but suddenly an idea occurred to me. Nervously I leaned forward and pressed my lips to him. It was exceedingly awkward and I ran away before he could catch me.

I simply hope he doesn't laugh at me today.

Day 8

I have decided that I am returning home with all due speed. Aurelius found me today sulking in the library. He apologized for his behavior, thinking he had lead me on. I didn't speak to him until he finally knelt down beside me.

'Why can't you love me?' I asked him. 'Everyone else does!'

He smiled and told me that he couldn't love me. When I asked him why, he told me this:

'There are men who are not attracted to women, just as there are women not attracted to men.'

When I asked him what that meant, he replied, 'I am attracted to men, Snow White.'

I stared at him in horror before I fled his presence. I see now that I am extremely naïve in the world, as I clearly know little more than I find in the palace. Perhaps if I read more or if I got out more, things would be simpler for me.

Day 9

I struck a bargain with King Helado today. I vowed to him that in the future, he could claim me in return for my freedom until then. I made him promise that he would wait until my firstborn child was of the age of majority.

He tells me I will be home in my bed tomorrow. He also promised to lead James to my room to wake me from my slumber.

I just wish to be gone from this place. I shall leave this diary here for those who come after me. If my child reads this, I am sorry that I betrayed you. I have broken my vow to myself as well as the sacred vows of motherhood. My only warning is beware of Aurelius, daughter. Do not give your heart to him.

Snow White

I suppose that's why my mother was upset about me speaking to Prince Aurelius. I suppose I am in danger of giving my heart to the golden prince. At least I know he is capable of loving me in return.

King Helado found me today in the library. He smiled and asked me to come to dinner with him tonight. I guess I don't really have a choice.

I can't help but wonder what changed my mother from the girl she used to be to the vain, cruel, jealous woman she is now. Was it simply Aurelius's rejection? Or was there something more? I suppose I shall never know.

I walk to the dinner hall, which I found yesterday, and find King Helado sitting there. I sit at the place he gestures to and I stare at the plate in front of me. He chuckles quietly, before reaching out and touching the plate. It fills with food, the sort that we only see on feast days at home. I suddenly realize how hungry I am and dig in with relish.

I have barely finished eating when the king stands and pulls me up.

"You have hidden from me for long enough," he purrs into my ear. "I restrained myself when your mother was living here, but you are too great a temptation for me to resist." He presses his lips to mine. I gasp at the chilly flesh, which he takes as an invitation.

He ravishes my mouth as I stand in his arms, unable to move. Dimly, I can feel his hand wandering down my back to my thighs, which he pulls up to wind about his waist. In this manner, he is able to carry me out of the dining hall without detaching himself from me. His lips drift across my jaw and neck as I try to stop him.

"Helado – Your majesty –"

"Oh, do stop," he growls. "You are mine, Prince."

I realize that we have entered his chambers. He dumps me back onto his bed and proceeds to rip my tunic from my chest, exposing my pale skin to his scrutiny.

"Beautiful," he murmurs, brushing a hand across the exposed skin. I shudder under his touch.

"Majesty…"

"No more, prince," he hisses and he dips his head to kiss his way down to my groin. I groan in fear, and, I hate to admit it, in desire.

I know that I scream and cry out a name as he takes me, but I don't think it was the name the king wanted, since he throws me out once the deed is done, leaving me to stagger back to my room to huddle in a ball.

I just want to leave this place, to find someone who loves me rather than my body. I don't want to be the concubine of the king. I want to be me.

I wake suddenly in the middle of the night. I feel lips touch mine briefly. I panic for a moment, thinking the king has come back for me, but I realize that they are warm. I reach out and grab the shoulders of the person.

"Who are you?" I whisper.

"William, it's me," Aurelius's voice whispers. "Love, I'm going to get you out of here."

"Don't I need to strike a bargain with him?"

"I'll bring your mother here," he tells me. "I'll trade her for you." He touches my face gently. "Did he touch you?"

"More than that," I say bitterly. I feel him sigh, and I reach out to him. I feel a warm wetness on his face, and realize with a start that's he's crying. He presses his lips to my cheek gently.

"I'm sorry, love. I promise you that everything will be all right later. I suspect that he will lose interest in you now that he's had you." I hear him shift slightly. "Why are you here instead of in his room?"

"I think I displeased him."

"How?"

"I think I called a different name."

"Whose?"

I blush, and I am grateful that the darkness hides it. "I really don't know, Aurelius. Probably yours." He laughs quietly and kisses my forehead. "Aurelius, if I return, where will I go?"

"Your father has other children," he says, "admittedly, by mistresses, but he has no need for you. Especially since you cannot have children if you are indeed only attracted to men."

"That seems to be the case," I confess. He presses a kiss to my temple.

"I promise you, my love; we'll be gone from here soon." His warm presence is removed and I am left cold and lonely. I sink back into a fitful sleep.

Bring the mother here, and I will give you the son.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall; Who is the fairest of them all?"

"My dear darling queen, all is not well, for though your son cannot be seen, he has managed to enchant more than is well."

I awake, sore and embarrassed. I decide to not get up, not wanting to face the king if I found him. I don't want to see him, afraid of giving in again. He's too seductive, too beautiful to resist, though I want to.

I then remember Aurelius's promise and struggle to sit up. I spot some clothes folded at the end of my bed. I dress hurriedly and rush as quickly as my body will allow from the room.

In the library, I sit and wait, pretending to read a random book I picked off the shelves. I try not to get my hopes up, knowing that it's probable that nothing will happen today. But I can't help wishing that it would all end today.

The king finds me again, looking darkly furious.

"Prince, follow me." He stalks away. I stand hurriedly and follow him, deciding not to say anything.

I follow him inside the throne room, and I gasp to see my mother sitting regally upon one of the thrones, Aurelius standing next to her. My mother stands in one fluid motion and holds her hand out to me.

"William! Thank goodness. I was worried about you! When you disappeared, I was afraid you had eloped with a girl you had met at your party!" She gives a tinkling laugh. "I'm so pleased that you've met Helado. Isn't he a charmer?"

I smack her hand away. "Drop the innocent act, mother. I know you sent me here. As for the king, he is nothing more than a lecher."

My mother's eyes darken and she backhands me viciously. "Spoiled brat! He has taken you in –"

"At your command!" I turn to the king. "My mother did not fulfill her pledge to you. Let me go – take her in my stead to be your queen. She, at least, can give you heirs."

My mother glares at me. King Helado simply raises his eyebrows and smiles slightly. Aurelius steps forward to speak to the king.

"Sire, let me take the boy," he says softly. "Take the woman. She was yours to begin with, in any case."

"That has a certain appeal," the king admits. He holds out his hand to my mother. "My snowy white queen, you shall be. Why not give in to me?"

"I changed my agreement with you," my mother says haughtily.

"But you made the oath," the king says silkily. "You are bound to it." He twitches his fingers, and my mother steps towards him, looking furious. "I release your boy, and take you in his place."

"I'll be there when you wake," Aurelius whispers to me before all goes dark and I fall to the icy floor.

Warm lips touch mine and I swim towards wakefulness. I open my eyes and I find myself staring into the nearly golden eyes of Aurelius, who smiles down at me.

"Welcome home, my icy prince," he whispers before he leans forward and kisses me again.

"Are we going to your home?" I ask him when we part. He takes my hand and nods. "What are we waiting for?"

He brushes a kiss across my knuckles and we are on our way.

My snow white queen…

My cold king…

My icy prince…

My golden love…

You belong to me.

This piece was inspired by the song by Evanescence. If you haven't listened to it, I recommend that you do.

Stoplight, lock the door.
Don't look back.
Undress in the dark,
And hide from you,
All of you.

You'll never know the way your words have haunted me.
I can't believe you'd ask these things of me.
You don't know me.

You belong to me,
My snow white queen.
There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over.
Soon I know you'll see,
You're just like me.
Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you.

Wake up in a dream.
Frozen fear.
All your hands on me.
I can't scream

I can't escape the twisted way you think of me.
I feel you in my dreams and I don't sleep.

You belong to me,
My snow white queen.
There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over.
Soon I know you'll see,
You're just like me.
Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you

I can't save your life,
Though nothing I bleed for is more tormenting.
I'm losing my mind and you just stand there and stare as my world divides.

You belong to me,
My snow white queen.
There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over.
Soon I know you'll see,
You're just like me.
Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you.

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