I joked with them about it.

“Fallen angel,” I laughed.

“But not a complete devil yet.”

Teased them about the most sensitive subjects

No reserves, no inhibitions.

“Pure angel, fallen angel, or total devil?”

I bluffed, I bet we all did.

Among friends, yet we lied.

Each of us further than the other had gone.

Were they scared to tell the truth?

I know I was.

Admitting my shortfall was like admitting defeat.

An alabaster vision walks past the door.

Ignores me, yet causes an instant effect.

Doubts assail my mind:

“Have you been tainted?”

I’m scared now.

Should you accept me,

I might not measure up to the past.

Constant comparisons, feelings of guilt.

If you resist, the doubt will remain.

I know what I am:

Untainted

Pure

Pristine white.

I know what I hope you are

And what I long for us to be.

It makes no difference

Who is tainted, who is not.

Because I want to become tainted

Tainted by you

By your lust.