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It's not like my family is terribly abusive or anything. At least not in appearances. To the outward eye we are a happy, middle-class family. My mother and father have the ideal marriage and my two brothers , sister and I have a wonderful relationship with one another. But my family is really broken. My father doesn't love my mother (or anyone else for that matter) and my mother desperately loves my father. My older brother Thomas is in a gang doing who- knows -what with who- knows- who. My sister Jenna is spoiled rotten and thinks the world revolves around her. Which it does...at least in my house. My baby brother Lawrence is four but already he thinks he's older then I am. Where does that leave me? The forgotten about “middle” (actually second-oldest) child. Thats my title. Pitiful? You decide after I tell you what happened last year.
“I wish you were dead!”
Those words rang out into the stormy night...and into my heart. I'd been sitting out on the terrace wall enjoying the thunder and lightning when it'd happened. My sister had come out demanding to use my computer. I of course refused her. Then she got angry, got my mother involved, and before I knew it she'd pushed me off the wall into the pool. Once I'd surfaced she shouted those hateful words at me. I sat there for a long time. Just sitting next to the pool.
“Melinda?!”, my father shouted. I shivered. If I went in now he'd be furious because I was dripping wet. But on the other hand, if ignored him, he'd just come get me and that would make him livid. I chose to answer but not move.
“Yes Daddy?”, I called.
“Get in here right now, you're going to catch a cold out there and miss important schoolwork.” Inwardly I groaned. Outwardly I rolled my eyes. Leave it to my father to think about school after I'd been pushed into the pool on a stormy night by my sister for pete's sakes. I stood up and shook the excess water from my clothes. Then I hurriedly wrung the water from my hair and glanced around as the sky began to lighten. By the time I'd reached the back door on the terrace the rain had become a light mist.
“Melinda Mae?! What in heck were you doing?!”, was my father's greeting.
“ I fell into the pool..”, came my feeble reply while I shot daggers with my eyes at Jenna.
“You...fell...into ...the ...pool?”, he hissed each word with restraint. I nodded the tears stinging my eyes. I heard Jenna chuckle. Part of me wanted to charge past my father and pummel her into the ground and beyond, the other part just wanted to be alone in my room. I got my wish. (no I did not pummel my sister). I got sent to my room. I ran in, slammed the door for effect and threw my drenched body onto my bed. Hot, salty, angry tears spilled from under my closed eyelids and dripped of my face into my ears. This was just an everyday occurrence in my life. My mother came barging into my room then.
“Oh honey..”, came the sickeningly sweet voice. Since she no longer got the affection she so desired from her husband, she sought it from her children.
“Not now mother..” I growled. Ignoring me she came over and sat on my bed, patting my thigh.
“Its okay, your father's just upset. Your sister didn't mean it either.” I just glared at her. I hated to be touched, especially when I was upset. She knew this, but somehow she always “forgot”.
“Your father treats me the same way too you know..” more patting and this time there was eye blinking. This was a favorite ploy of my mothers. By talking bad about our father while we were upset, she hoped to gain more points with us and turn us against him. I rolled my eyes in disgust. Finally she took the hint and left, but not without throwing insults in of her own. I sat up and began writing in my journal. I wont repeat what I wrote, but it was in the moment I decided I was tired of this life and had to get away.
“Alright Ethan” came her reply. I picked up the bag and walked outside. In the distance there was shouting and screaming. I ignored it and just kept going. After I'd placed the lid back on the trashcan, I just stood. I closed my eyes and let the rain soak my hair and clothes. It felt so good, so peaceful I almost forgot about what had happened earlier. My parents had just dropped a bomb on me. They wanted to get a divorce. She said he was different now and he agreed that they didn't feel the same. I knew they were covering up some ugly truth though. At first thoughts like “How could they do this to me?” ran through my mind. Those thoughts soon turned into “It's their fault, I don't freaking care!” although I knew deep down inside that I was falling apart. I knew a lot of kids who'd lost a parent to divorce, but I never thought of my family as broken. The tears came then. I know guys aren't supposed to cry, but when its raining no one knows.
“Ethan come in here!” my mom called gently. I opened my eyes and noticed the sun coming out. I trudged to the house wiping my faceon the inside collar of my shirt.
“Ethan..” my mother greeted my softly, “your dads leaving now...go say goodbye.” Just like that, my dad was moving out...
“Now?” I choked. She nodded solemnly. I went in search of my dad and found him packing his car.
“Mom says your leaving..” I fidgeted uncomfortably. He looked up. I noticed how gray he looked. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.
“Yes son... I'm leaving..”
“Oh” I breathed. Then he reached out and hugged me so hard I felt the wind whoosh out of me. I clung to him for a long time, almost as if I would never let go. And then he was gone, leaving me in the driveway, fighting the tears that poured from my eyes anyway.