I held the razor blade above my wrist.

The vain underneath my pail skin was singing for the cut.

But I paused, I couldn’t do it.

I dropped the razor in the sink and looked up at the mirror.

What I saw scared the shit out of me.

I saw a stranger looking back at me. She had all the same features as I do, but she wasn’t me.

Everything about her was dull. Her hair hung limply to her shoulders, her eyes held no life to them. Her skin was so pale it was as if it was translucent. Everything about her screamed dull.

Slowly a sneer came upon her face, mine mimicking it.

I left the bathroom with the sneer still on my face.

I was furious.

How could he have don’t this to me?

How could I have let him do this to me?

I left the shit hole of a house I lived in without telling anyone where I was going or when I'd be back. As if they cared.

I stuffed my hands into my jean pockets, but kept at my brisk pace.

I started towards the ally. He had to be there, he was always there.

Loan behold there he was leaning against the brick wall in all of his glory.

"Hey babe." he said cigarette hanging from his lips.

I walked right up to him and hit him as hard as I could.

He didn’t even flinch, he looked stunned for a moment, but it soon past.

He grabbed my arms and forced me against the brick wall.

"What the hell was that for?" he asked putting his face close to mine.

"What have you done to me?" I cried out.

He just stood there looking at me.

A sob tore at my throat.

Still he just stood there.

He let go of his hold on me and I collapsed onto the ally's floor.

I couldn’t stop crying, I just sat there letting the waves of emotion come roaring through me.

He kneeled and put his hand underneath my chin lifting it up so I could look at him. His cigarette still hanging from his lips.

His free hand started wiping the tears away from my cheek.

I'm sure hundreds of emotions were running across my face, easy for him to read. My water eyes looked at his, I was never able to tell what he was thinking.

He was always an enigma to me. And whether that’s what always drew me to him or not, I'd never know.

He slowly gathered me in his arms being careful, as if I was a porcelain doll.

I clung to him.

Pathetic I said to my self.

I inhaled through my nose trying to clear it up and his smell came along with the air.

He always smelled the same, cigarettes and vanilla. I've always loved his smell.

"Its alright." He said softly.

I buried my face into his jacket so I could feel the heat coming off of him.

He slowly started walking, still holding me in his arms. He took the stairs into his apartment one by one. He slightly shifted his hold on me so he could open the door. Then he gently closed the door using his foot.

I still clung to him like the wimp I was.

He laid me down on his bed and laid down next to me, his arms still around me.

I fell asleep listening to his heart beat.

When he was sure I was asleep, he kissed my forehead and said, "I love you."

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AN/ I was bored when I wrote this, so I'm not sure if I like it yet or not.