I am not allowed to feel like this

It happened once before, not again

To see that smile I’ve missed so much

It kills me to know that smile is for me

When it can be nothing more than that

A quick hello, we turn away aching

For something that we both cannot have

I cannot hurt the one I am with

Although he is not the one I want anymore

You’re smile, it makes me shiver

Just knowing that it is for me

Even though it can not happen

And I will never share how I feel with you

Or him, or any of those who know you

You are the only one who makes me smile

The way that never fades, even hours later

I think of you and the warmth fills me

Unlike it now does for him, you see?

I cannot hurt him, it would kill me

But to never be with you, to never hold you

And to always see that smile I love...

That smile, just for me…

This feeling will never die.