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HOBBITS
WyrdWolf
Guru of Irrelevance and Irreverence
WyrdWolf is a talking
Lupine who occasionally brings back a nice dead rabbit or bird for
his best friends.
Sakka-Fenikkusu
The great,
powerful and egotistical phoenix who somehow manages to hold a pencil
without burning it.
Solemn Coyote
A handsome young
quadruped-turned-trickster-God
Solemn
Coyote has silky gray fur and bright green eyes. His interests
include road-kill and writing.
Heatless Flame
Dark
Lord of Light
Recently
managed to start a dictator aflame despite lack of heat limitations.
Thank god for friction. And thank god for writing.
Magnolian
Wolf
Wolf
of the Seven Flowers
Will
gobble up your grandma's cookies. (and your writing)
Burnt Bread
Bread for Thought
May or may not have been
partially responsible for the spread of gay nudist seeds.
More Monopoly money is printed in a year than real money around the world. That’s true. Shows us our values, huh?
Editor’s
Note
says Sleepy Bread who
gets cranky when sleep deprived
In the words of Solemn, don’t assume anything.
The existence of money is an interesting comment on the human race for money is symbolically a means of value, and the exchanging of money is the action of balancing value in a set agreement.
From an alien’s point of view, what would this say about the human race?
Firstly, and most obviously, it would say that our value system holds something like equality in high regard. We have a natural tendency to balance things out. If you receive something you perceive to be valuable from someone else, the natural instinct is to return something of value.
Secondly, aliens might note our ability to symbolize value. How much is a piece of paper? Last time I checked, I could get a stack of printing paper for around a dollar. But crop it right, add some numbers in the corners, slap some face in the center and draw some squiggle lines and suddenly, you’ve got something that damn resembles a $10 note, capable of buying ten packs of printing paper. Ok, so it was over simplified, but you get my meaning.
Thirdly, I need sleep. Why would aliens deduct this? Well, from the previous two deductions about exchanging and deriving value, aliens might conclude that the value of sleep overweighs the need to meet deadlines for Bread, which is why the newsletter isn’t on time. Aliens have also deducted that if anyone thinks different, they can freely interpret the meaning of Bread’s upright, middle finger as representing a certain type of value.
Heatless Flame
You can get a pretty good picture of what a culture values by taking a look at its currency. This isn’t a science, exactly, but it can make for some interesting observations. The Babylonian shekel was backed up by a certain value of barley. The Japanese used rice under the reign of the Tokugawas (officially, at least.) In a cove in Sydney, Australia, rum was the currency of choice.
“Oh, antiquity,” you might say, followed by “Pfft. Money has moved beyond that. We have credit cards now.” And you’d be right, of course. We do. But you’d also be overlooking something important. “What is that?” You ask.
Well, take out your wallet. I’m not going to steal it, I promise. Open it up and rummage around until you find a coin. Take that coin out. Chances are it’ll have a dead politician’s likeness on it (unless it’s a dollar coin. Sacagawea ruins everything.)
That’s significant, isn’t it? We Americans value our presidents. Literally. Other cultures put different faces on their money. Japanese yen notes almost always feature scenes of natural beauty. Australian dollars proudly display their innovators and scientists. Swiss francs have artists, architects, and one lonely historian.
As a writer, there’s something important to be learned here. Actually, there are a couple of things, but I’ll only spell out one of them: don’t take things for granted. If you’re designing a fantasy kingdom, think about their currency. Maybe they don’t use the traditional copper to silver to gold ratio. Heck, maybe they pay each other with salt. Or units of magic. Or huge granite wheels. What does that say about their economy? What about the faces on their money? Knights? Lords? Royal courtesans?
For you sci-fi writers out there, this is even more important. It adds realism to your story, thus satisfying the “sci” part of the equation. Maybe everyone in the universe has agreed to use the same credits. Sure. That’s easy enough. But maybe everyone converts their credits into different things. A mineral-deficient world counts their credits in terms of the amount of stone they’re worth. A dry world converts credits to water. If that’s still too simple, how about going back to the basics. Maybe some colonies are using rum as money again.
However you look at it, the little details in a story are always important. Coins might be small things, but they tend to build up. Pay attention to them.
Did you think I was going to leave you with Titanic using some lame excuse like it was a movie with a killer-big budget?
No.
Fear not, O’ ye keen movie watches, this month’s recommendation is the smooth sailing 2001 hit, Ocean’s Eleven, starring George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I thought about it long and hard last night, and decided that this is the best money movie to watch this December, with the bonus being that there is already a sequel (Ocean’s Twelve, surprise), and Ocean’s Thirteen is coming out in cinemas soon!
The story follows Daniel Ocean (Clooney) after his release from prison as he rounds up the old crew for one unforgettable heist. With slick, Mission Impossible-worthy moves, the gang of high profile thieves executes an unforgettable robbery on a hardnosed entrepreneur’s casino. As always, Clooney seems to play ‘himself’, ie, the stereotypical, smooth ladies man that manages to show genuine concern without compromising his overall manliness. You have been warned.
Overall appeal of Ocean’s Eleven comes from it’s slickness. Just watchaing it makes you cooler. The particular style of editing and the soundtrack that accompanies the robbery sets the snappy pace and minimal dialogue brings attention to the other types of communication these crooks use to get the job done.
Very inspiring for plotlines and heist ideas and recommended for those who would love to get their hands on some rich guy’s money.
In the world there are two important things. Money and friendship.
Revision.
In the world there is only one important thing. Money.
No, I have lied to you. That is not true. There are several, equally important things that I have miraculously forgotten existed!
But money can be an important factor in stories.
First off, a character should never have limitless funds for no apparent reason. Being rich and jobless does not cut it, unless all of their seventeen rich great-uncles died on the same day and left them loaded for life. Even in that situation, it isn't very believable.
Also, even if you give your character a job, it does not instantly mean that they have buckets of green, especially in the case of children. No kid saves up a $10 a week allowance for 30 weeks. Okay, so maybe some do, but, once again, we're reaching the unbelievable point. If you have a sufficient reason (ex: they really want a PS3 or something and are fairly responsible, so have been saving up) it's fine, but take into account how costly your character's excursions are, and make them pay for it. No pun intended.
Now. Journeying to the topic of fantasy worlds. Not every society functions on a monetary system gold, silver, and copper pieces. And not "Gald" either. After reading the same terms for every world seven hundred times, it gets old. Use some latin word for money, for all I care. Because if everything had self-explanatory titles, the nickel would be "that silver-looking coin that's larger than the coin that's smaller than this one and that's silver too and worth ten cents whereas this one is only worth five."
And there you have it. You have been given your writing tips.
That'll be one dollar.
No, really, pay up.
...Okay, fine, you don't have to pay.
But to coin a phrase... I just stole ALL of your money, with a bad pun to boot.
Time for me to fun for my life.
Heatless Flame
Money. Money, money money. An observation/rant on money…hm. This would be easier if I had the subject of this to actually look at; I’m completely broke. Seriously. I would beat an old lady with an aluminum bat if it got me a dollar.
That’s the real problem with money—it IS a problem. What happened to the good old, old, old old old old old old old old moldy days, where people traded frickin’ seashells?
Old
Person A: “I’ll give you six shells for that cow.”
Old
Person B: “Damn, bitch, you got your bad self a deal. I’m
gonna go buy my ass a Cadillac.”
Old
Person A: …what’s a Cadillac? And this cow is dead.
Old
Person B: See ya in hell. ::drives away::
Life was much more peaceful back then.
Modern
Person A: Six bucks for a cheeseburger!? Kiss my ass!
Modern
Person B: Um…I just, like, work here. I don’t make the
prices.
Modern
Person A: I’ll price yo mama, fool!
Modern Person B:
She’s dead.
Modern
Person A: …
Modern
Person B: …
Modern
Person A: I’ll take that cheeseburger now.
WyrdWolf: ::shakes head:: Bunch of savages in this town.
“Money. If we had enough of it, we could simply buy Galbatorix off his black throne.”- Nasuada from Eldest
Now, Christopher Paolini may have had plenty of faults in his Inheritance Trilogy. We all know that, hopefully, for I’m not going to detail the plot. But at least Chris got this basic concept correct.
Money drives everything.
Some may disagree, saying that love or God or rapid cows drive everything and rule everything. They may be right in this world, especially about the final one, but in fantasy worlds there should almost always be a currency. What farmer is going to drop his plough, pick up a bow, and leave his family to usurp the king’s throne for some half-elf dude without making a tidy profit? Very, very few.
In various stories, oftentimes people do the good old “Ah! Evil king with all resources destroyed our peace and took over!” Then they go and have the bloody fool king lose because he was foolish enough to fight our poor, scruffy, young hero alone without using his massive resources of soldiers, magic, and willing servants. No wicked leader will ever do that. The hero will need some form of army to even get to the king. And then the teenager with two weeks of sword experience can defeat the ancient lord.
Next matter of business: mercenaries. They are often portrayed in unresearched stories as groups of well-trained fighters who will befriend our local hero and provide assistance without any financial consequences for the hero.
On the contrary (what a wonderful phrase), real mercenaries work for profit and will not work for anyone, good or evil, without at least some compensation. True, they have to be talented at beating many enemies so it will be money not wasted, but still they need pay. On a similar note a mercenary will not join a troupe simply to fight. Unless they are an insane serial killer, they will want payment like any other job. How many of you would go to work, labor hard for eight hours, and then smile and say it was from the good of your heart. Everyday of your life. Unlikely.
Now we come to bartering, which is the simple concept of, say, me trading you six ducks for a cow. That is, selling and purchasing without use of common currency. Wow, that sounded like it came from the dictionary or something. Cool.
Either way, it was often used in medieval times instead of coins as the currency, people would barter until they reached a compromise. But the flaw in that is what if Yum the Shoemaker sold Lenu the Bartender a pair of shoes for some beer. Then Sam the other Shoemaker comes to the bar and barters. But Sam, being the fool he is, says that he will give him two shoes for less beer than Yum got. Sam finds out later and is angry with them because he feels cheated. Poor Sam. The point is currency may be needed, for a sense of equality.
The final issue involving money has to do with governmental influence. If a book is based in medieval times, all matters must be similar to those including poverty, weaponry, etc. Back a long time ago, Europe had kings and queens, not leaders chosen by the peasants! One of the major requirements for any sort of station in life was wealth. No barons, dukes, or earls were ever poor. It just wasn’t done.
That concludes- (that sounds awful formal, don’t it? Let me start this paragraph over.)
And now this amazing rant ends, except it wasn’t that amazing. Or long. Oh well.
Live long and prosper! (just become a duke and you’re prospering!)
Have you ever bought anything you didn’t really want to buy?
Though not technically unethical, one might feel cheated to learn that marketing people employ a wide range of techniques to bully you into buying products that you may not really want or need. The scam of it is, the people who actually fall for such methods aren’t stupid randoms, but decent upstanding people.
Marketing techniques work on nice people with a sense of moral value. In no way is the author of this section advocating the abandonment of social consciousness, or endorsing the act of urinating in public places in order to not get jibbed every again. No. Please keep a high standard of moral conduct. What the author is encouraging, however, is an awareness of the types of things marketers take advantage of. Two of the main vantage points are outlined briefly below.
CommitmentEveryone likes to be somewhat reliable, or at least appear to be, and in order to appear so, one must be committed to acting fairly consistently and gaining trust for others. The power of commitment has proven effective in low-balling techniques where marketers begin with a small, seemingly harmless request, before following it up with something ridiculous. Though this is often used in the advertising world, it isn’t limited to just that. My favorite example:
Dangle
Berry: Hey, wanna come help with this short, student production I’m
filming on Saturday?
Blubber
Head: Er, sure.
Dangle
Berry: Great! I’ll see you at 6am!
Statistics show that 56 of the time (compared to only 36 when all the information was given at once), Blubber Head shows up, perfectly illustrating the power of commitment.
ReciprocationAnother trait of decent people is their values of equality. Research has shown that even if Blubber Head doesn’t like Dangle Berry, if a small token is initiated by Dangle Berry and accepted by Blubber Head (ie. A can of coke or chocolate), Blubber Head is more likely to comply with requests made by Dangle Berry, even when the cost of the request exceeds that of the initial token.
Commitment and the Reciprocation Norm are but two of the many traits marketing people exploit, and there is no easy way to avoid falling victim to such schemes (unless one is a rampant psychopath). However, by being aware that such methods exist, one may be able to recognize them before it’s too late.
Heatless Flame
Why is it that protagonists never have to worry about their money? “Oh, my great granddaddy died and left me a fortune….” YEAH RIGHT! How many of you people out there have relatives to rich for fruit of the loom underwear?
Then again, there are those who make their protagonists AGONISTS. Its as if the author wants you to feel sorry for the characters unconceivable misfortune. How many people have to fry rats for dinner? Hopefully not a lot…..
But is middle class really the right way to go? What if your character is waaay to normal? Could your audience (which is largely middle class) relate to them, or hate them for being just an ordinary dude/dudette?
….Where was I going with this?
Heatless Flame
5 cases when you can honestly say that you don’t need the money -
When you’re on a deserted island with nothing but cocoanuts.
In space.
When it’s on fire.
When you’re on fire.
When it’s stained with blood and offered by suspicious European men in black cars.
Submissions due: No later than 20th December 2006