A new beginning, a fresh start

Imponderable even to a regenerate heart

Now, I wasn’t made to fight

But I resist the things I know are right

I'd rather lose to the here and now

Than give up, give in to you somehow

How can I say there's love when we don’t even speak?

Dare I say I'm strong when I feel so very weak?

“Be still and know”, you'll give me sound advice

Platitudes all, though they seem nice

They don’t reach within, don’t pull like they should

I'm wise enough to know that’s anything but good

I don’t know why you’re willing to stay

When all I do is push you away

Living is lifting and pushing and pulling

Sitting on fences with burning blood…cooling

Yet I know you're with me-standing by my side

Your warm love shattering everything inside

So why can't I touch you if you're the only truth I know?

And is there really a whiter white than snow?

Hold me to you, gentle Father, until my fears subside

I can't do this on my own and believe me…

I've

Tried.