Freeway

Livi

“Take this exit! Now, take it, hurry.” The road stretched before the compact car, seemingly too long for the occupants. “At least you didn’t miss this one, forcing us to turn around again.”

“Hey, who’s the navigator here?” the driver asked, downshifting as the car eased onto the frontage road. “I don’t think I’m the one to blame.”

“Wargh,” came the incoherent contribution from the backseat.

“Anyway,” the passenger continued, “It’s a good thing we aren’t detouring yet again. We’re already an hour behind, everyone will be wondering where we are. I’m sure our cell phones would be ringing if this place got some sort of reception.”

“Oh yes, I’m sure.” The light turned green, and the car accelerated into a smooth turn, merging onto the two-lane eastbound freeway.

“Once we get there, what are you gonna do about your boyfriend? I know the two of you haven’t been touching each other as much lately. It’s like a layer of insulation sprouted between ya’ll. What’s up with that?”

“Nothing’s up with it. Derek and I are fine. We’re going to have a nice weekend together. Well, plus all our annoying friends. You’re totally paranoid. It’s not like I’m the one who dumps a guy as soon as he agrees to go out with me.”

“You talking about someone we know?”

“I wonder.”

“Shut up. Hey, get over a lane. We’re supposed to get onto some sort of loop-thingy now.”

“Loop-thingy?”

“Yeah, it’s a technical term, devised by a team of scientists on crack. Just get in the lane, okay?”

“I’m still wondering why you’re the navigator.”

“It’s ‘cause I’m your best choice sweetheart. So your story is you and Derek are just going to hang out, perfectly cool that the rest of us are hanging too. Yeah, I don’t buy that. C’mon, I’m not dumb.”

“Loop-thingy?”

“Sure, sure, hold it against me. Spill and I want the truth this time. C’mon, I can handle it.” The passenger leaned her seat back.

“Urf,” the peanut gallery chose again to make its presence known.

“Whoa, stop looking at me like that. Your eyes are supposed to be glued to that map. Which, by the way, I’m not entirely satisfied you can read. As you said, we’re an hour behind. You should be worried more about being able to reunite with our buddies, not what’s going to happen once we’re together again.”

“Dude, my directions have been totally sound. You’ve just got slow reactions.”

“I’m sorry it takes me more than two seconds to process information. At what point did I tell you I was a mongoose?”

“What do mongeese have to do with the price of peas in Persopolis?”

“Mongeese?”

“Another one of those highly specialized terms. You know, you should read more. It could really improve your vocabulary.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Really, no lie. You’re just trying to dodge my question. Don’t think I can’t see through your subtle machinations.”

“Told you you were paranoid. ‘Subtle machinations’? What is this, a spy thriller? I’ve already told you, in plain English no less, that Derek and I are not having any problems. Will you give it a rest? There’s still a long way ahead of us, and I don’t want to spend the time discussing my non-existent relationship problems.”

“Defensive much? It doesn’t matter what lies you’ve already fed me, I’ve told you quite clearly that I see through the deception. Give it up and we won’t have to discuss this for the rest of the trip.”

“Gack,” the backseat passenger finally decided to speak. “With you two yakking I can’t get any sleep. Who cares about Bethy and Derek’s romantic woes? I just want to get to the lake without my ears boycotting my brain and ripping themselves free of their roots.”

“That’s a bit morbid.”

“I’m sorry, but your insipid conversation impeded my sleeping habits, thus producing my less than pleasant mood. What a great quality to evoke within your fellow traveler.”

“Don’t worry, she managed to make me mad too and I wasn’t even trying to sleep,” the driver replied. “By the way, thanks for not caring about prying forth the details of my private life.”

“No problem, I’ve never liked being profligate with my time. It’s obvious that you planned this little get away weekend as a nice way to break up with him, and you’ve invited the gang to prevent any sophomoric scenes.”

“Whoa, how’d you put that together?”

“I have eyes and ears. Now that your curiosity is satisfied, will you cease to babble about silly trifles and let me sleep for more than say, ten minutes?”

“Sure,” the passenger replied, looking at her map and then at the road. She frowned, and double-checked. “Crap, we got on the wrong loop-thingy. You distracted us with all your secrecy! Turn around, Bethy.”

“I’m going to hurt you. Both of you.”