A/N Just a random bit of...well, I’m not quite sure. I deliberately left out descriptions of the two characters, so you can imagine them as black, white, young, old, Chinese, Bulgarian, purple with pink polka dots, or aliens with multiple tentacles...um, yeah.

Enjoy!

Driving

by Tiggermyk

Silence reigned between the two people in the car. The only sounds to be heard were the splatter of raindrops, the occasional crash of thunder, and the swishing of the wipers. The man stared through the windshield, his face stony as he concentrated on driving, his hands tight around the wheel, though they were not clenched. The woman had turned her head to stare out the passenger window, one hand covering her mouth. Underneath a thin layer of fading makeup, a bruise could be seen on her cheek. Every now and then a small whimper could be heard, and her shoulders would shake.

Long dark miles passed before the man glanced briefly at her from the corner of his eye before returning his gaze to the road. “I’m blaming it all on you, you know,” he said calmly, but a muscle jumped in his jaw. The woman said nothing, and they fell into silence once more.

“I can’t believe it,” he muttered after several more miles. A small noise, like a suppressed squeak, escaped from the woman. He shot her a look of disgust.

“Just be quiet,” he half growled. There was a heartbeat of silence before he muttered under his breath again. “It’s not like I don’t like your grandmother,” he said, more to himself, “but for God’ssake, did she have to pinch my ass? Twice?”

The snort that came from the woman opened the floodgates, and she erupted into laughter.

“Yeah, ha ha ha,” he said moodily, sending her another disgusted look. “I’m glad you find it amusing.”

“Y-you should ha-have s-s-seen...ha ha ha!...the look on your--your f-f-f--” she seemed to nearly choke on the word “--face!” She sucked in a breath, her snickers quieting for a moment, before she dissolved into laughter again.

The man muttered under his breath again, but he couldn’t help but soften a little as he listened to the woman. She began to quiet down, so--just to see if he could set her off again--he added gloomily, “And on my honeymoon, too.”

Sure enough, she began howling with laughter again, so hard that tears began running down her face and she held her ribs. He glanced smugly at her, until he noticed the bruise. Then his face quickly became grim again, and he reached out to gently cup her cheek, brushing away the makeup and tears that had alternately hid and revealed the bruise. Then he had to return his attention to the road and both hands to the wheel. His new wife’s laughter faded.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get there in time,” he said quietly.

She reached over and touched his shoulder. “I’m fine. And if you hadn’t gotten there in time, I’d be dead.”

Silence once more fell in the car, but this time it was contemplative.

“At least we didn’t have to postpone the wedding again,” he finally said gruffly.

“Well, sorry that I had a crazy insane homicidal psycho maniac stalker after me,” she said dryly.

“It did put a damper on our plans,” he agreed, deadpan. He glanced over at her again, taking note of the serious look on her face. He had no intention of starting off their honeymoon grim and gloomy, so he strove for a lighter note.

“Does she always pinch the ass of your boyfriend?” he inquired.

He was rewarded with a slight twitch of her lips. “Only the ones who save my life,” she replied innocently. He shuddered theatrically, making her chuckle outright.

“Remind me to never save your life again,” he muttered. “By the way,” he added as he pulled into the parking lot of their hotel and swiftly finding an empty spot. “I thought you said you had three brothers,” he continued, turning to her as he shut off the car.

“I do,” she replied, looking slightly puzzled.

He frowned at her. “So who was helping your grandmother?”

She blinked, then smiled slowly. A mischievous glint entered her eyes.

“Oh, that’s just her husband,” she said lightly.

A/N Mwahahahaha! Believe it or not, I thought of it while I was in the shower, wrote it all down, and only just now got around to typing it up. I was thinking of giving this to our Literary Magazine, but I’m not sure. What d’y’all think?