I’ve heard it said before that most people are so afraid of public speaking that they would rather be in the coffin than giving the eulogy at the funeral. Boy, don’t I know it. I experienced this fear first-hand in fifth grade.

I had dreaded reaching fifth grade at St. Isidore’s Elementary School, because it meant I would have to participate in the yearly speech contest for grades fifth through eighth. I was never one for talking in front of classmates- complete strangers and close friends I had almost no trouble with, but classmates I couldn’t deal with. I still haven’t figured out why that was.

My teacher, Miss Zelko, had finished telling us about the speech that we had to give in front of the class. It had to be three to five minutes long. Already I began to feel sick to my stomach. Three to five minutes- it seemed like an eternity. An eternity to stand in front of the thirty-six unforgiving faces of my classmates, staring at me unblinkingly, waiting for me to make a mistake that could lead to a year of mockery. I shivered in my chair just thinking about all the potential, horrible outcomes.

When had life become so complicated? One three to five minute speech assignment had suddenly rocked my stress-free world. The reality of the situation I was in hit me hard, and my terror made me completely unmotivated to write my speech when I got home. I just wanted to die. What did speeches have to do with education, anyways? It was all nonsense, that’s what it was. Seeing my distress, my mom decided to guide me along with my speech. After giving me some clever ideas, I made myself sit down after a few days and type it all out.

Looking it over, I was surprised to find that it was a pretty nice speech- maybe even halfway decent! Beginning to feel a little bit better about my predicament, I practiced it almost to the point of memorization. Since it was the first time we had been given an assignment like this one, we were allowed to use index cards when saying it in front of the class.

The day of the speech had arrived. Sweating nervously at my desk, I awaited my turn. The time had come to stand in front of my classmates and say the speech that I was actually somewhat proud of. As I spoke, I began to feel a little more confident. This wasn’t so bad- I mean, it was still uncomfortable, but I didn’t die. Finally, it was over. I sighed in relief and went back to my seat as the students clapped. Thank God, it was over. It was done.

The following day went by uneventfully until my teacher announced the students whose speeches were good enough to present in front of all the upper elementary classes in the gymnasium. I sat back and relaxed as she read off the names. I mean, I liked my speech and all, but it wasn’t nearly good enough to say in front of half the school, right?

As I was pondering this, Miss Zelko was reading off the names, “…Kelsey Fugere, Ricky Kearney, Marie Dal Porto…” I nearly jumped out of my seat. I was imagining things, I had to be. My speech was good enough to say in front of all those people? Well, that’s just perfect. I had sweated over saying my speech in front of 36 people and now I would have to say it in front of almost 300 students plus parents and even the principal! This was horrible news.

The rest of the week I was congratulated by many people. I thanked all of them but didn’t mean it one bit. I’d like to see you in my shoes, I thought to myself. I knew that I was allowed to decline and not say my speech, but I really didn’t want to disappoint my parents and friends. They were all excited and happy for me. I couldn’t let them down.

In the days before the speech I had many doubts. Would I mess up? If I did, half the school would be watching. I was already starting to feel dizzy and sick to my stomach about it. At one point I was close to dropping out, but remembering how proud my Mom had looked when I told her the news made me decide to do it.

A few days later, I found myself standing behind a podium, looking out at all those people. I gulped and waited for the signal to start my speech. I was shaking almost uncontrollably, but after a few deep breaths I got enough control to assure myself that my voice wouldn’t give out on me. I began to say my speech once more, but the audience had grown since last time. During the speech I was sweating bullets and feeling like I would faint, but somehow, I got through it. After I had finished, I was greeted with much applause, and many people praised me, and this time, when I thanked them, I meant it.