Kanna-sama: If you’ve ever read Peanuts before, then you can imagine where I got this idea from.

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Rating: K

Genre: Humor

Summary: Young Sandy thinks she knows everything, so when her little brother, Mike, asks her things, she promptly answers him...Only, the answer is far from the truth. One-shot.

Notes/Warnings: General idea from Peanuts; One-shot; Rated (K)

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Sandy Thimble was the biggest know-it-all her entire family knew. Of course, the adults were aware that she didn’t understand have of what she was talking about, though the children, on the other hand, always went to her when they had a question. Her little brother, Mike, who wasn’t yet five, trusted his sister completely. Sometimes, though, that wasn’t the best thing...

“Sandy, why is it so windy out today?” Mike asked his sister, looking from the window. Sandy sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Geez, Mike, how can you not know why?” She demanded. “The leaves are tickling the trees’ noses, so they’re sneezing.”

“Wow...Should I offer them a tissue?”

“Don’t be dumb.” Sandy flounced out of the room, taking her coloring book with her. Mike continued to stare out the window until his father came into the room, standing beside his son.

“The trees sure are sneezing today, eh, dad?” Mike remarked. His father blinked, looking at him with raised eyebrows.

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“Well, it seems that those babies are doing it again,” Sandy said scornfully as she glared up at the stormy sky that had formed. Mike peered up as well, holding his basketball.

“What do you mean, sis?” He asked.

“When the sky looks all gross like that, it means that the babies are coloring on the sky again. When the sky is blue, it means that Shakespeare painted it.”

“Shakespeare paints, too??” Mike gasped, dropping his ball in surprise.

“Yup. He also invented his own language. He mixed it in with his books.” Her brother gave her a blank look. She let out an angry sound, demanding, “Don’t you know anything, Michael?! Those stupid words like ‘thou,’ ‘thy,’ and ‘alas’ are all a part of Shakespeare’s language. Mom and dad should’ve told you that. They’re always reading the things to us for story time.”

“That’s weird,” Mike said, looking thoughtful. “It makes sense an’ all, but if he’s an artist, how come he doesn’t make us kids a book?”

“The truth is, he was so busy with his writing and sneaking around with the Godfather to do much more than paint the sky blue.”

“The Godfather?”

“Yup.”

“Whoa...Eep. It’s starting to rain. Let’s head inside.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, Sandy?” He spoke up as they ran to the house.

“What, Mike?”

“Why does it rain?”

“Because God’s crying.”

“Poor God...Why?”

“Because the babies ruined Shakespeare’s artwork. You sure are stupid.”

“Only a little bit,” Mike protested. “It’s a good thing I have you as a sister, Sandy.”

“Darn right!”

“I just thought of something...”

“What?”

“Where do babies come from?”

“Oh, please, Mike.” She sighed. “God gives them to Jesus and Jesus brings them to our home. Haven’t you ever read the Bible?”

“I’m only four!”

“Yeah, that’s true. It must be why you’re so dumb.” He shrugged in answer and shut the door behind him as they headed inside.

“Would you look at that?” Mike said to his sister, hearing the wind outside. “Those darn trees are sneezing again!”

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Kanna-sama: Utterly pointless, of course, just as all my humor stories are. I just wanted a break from all my serious fiction. I think it’s utterly hilarious when kids do this. When I told my cousins that Aunt Flow had come to visit, they asked me who Aunt Flow was. It was adorable. Anyway, please leave a review on your way out. Ciao!