A/N: Wow, I’ll keep this short…or try. This is really just a test story; I’ll see how it turns out. I’m not committing to anything, though. Well, I hope you have fun reading the story (cause it was a hoot writing it) and feel free to praise me with gifts and wine (non-alcoholic, please, I’m underage), or flame me with insults and…flames.

Also, the romance is going to take awhile, but the pointlessness begins right away. Oh, and the prologue is crap. I seriously cringed when I wrote it. Oh well, I think you’ll survive through it. Onward.

Prologue

My dad once said that he wanted to wrap me up in caution tape in order to warn the world that I was dangerous. To put it plainly, I wasn’t a shy child. My twin brother, Cowen, and I have enough publicly embarrassing stories to last a lifetime. That is, if we were the type of people to be embarrassed. I can’t even begin to remember all the times we made our mother’s voice hoarse from yelling at us so much. Well, she was kind of used to it after my three older brothers.

I always thought I was cursed by being a girl. Growing up surrounded by boys put this idea into my molding mind that I wouldn’t be accepted unless I was a boy. So, I acted like one. It was easy enough with four brothers, though.

I couldn’t ask for a better family. Well, that is, if you subtract my mom and dad from the family. My dad’s a real jerk. And I’m being nice by saying jerk. I could think of some other words that would explain him better, but that’s beside the point. He left when I was twelve, because of some bimbo half his age. My mom was devastated. Yeah, she took the drunk/”woe is me” route. I’ll be lucky if I ever talk to her when she isn’t roaring drunk or has a hangover.

But my dad has one redeeming quality: he’s very generous. He left us the mansion (did I mention he’s filthy rich?) and pays all our financial fees, because he know my mom couldn’t support us if her life depended on it. Heck, she’d probably choice to die anyway. My brothers and I also get an allowance of $10,000 each, every year. I’m saving most of my money for after college. But you can’t blame a girl for a random shopping spree every once in awhile, can you?

On the other hand (much better hand), my brothers are great. They all act like my dad, mom, brother, and friend all rolled into four slightly insane boys. I honestly don’t know how I could survive without them, I love them so much. However, don’t tell them that, they’ll gag from the emotional crappiness of it all.

That’s about all there is to say right now, except my life is never dull. Yeah, and that’s just the way I like it.

Simplicity is the Key Put into the Keyhole of Chaos

“SNIPER! Do you even know what the hell ‘sniper’ means, Cass? Hurry up and get that fucking blue guy before he gets Alex from behind, damn it!”

Yes, that would be my brother, Cowen, with his wonderful choice of words.

“I’m doing the best I fucking can, Cowen. So fuck off!”

Eh, I never said I was a saint.

“If we lose this level, I’m blaming you, Cass!” Cowen snapped back at me.

“Oh, the horror! I’ll be blamed for losing,” I paused for dramatics, “a VIDEO GAME!”

I am not in my best mood at 9:00 in the morning, during summer vacation. I don’t even know why I’m awake at nine freaking AM, hence the bitchy mood.

“Shut the fuck up, Cass! We can’t lose this level! You’re future health depends on this level! I’m warning you, if you even think about losing, I’ll-” blah blah blah.

“Shut up guys, and get back to the game.”

Ah, Alex. My honorary brother. Cowen’s and mine best friend since first grade. Savior against my evil brother. Mediator. Peacemaker-

‘GAME OVER’ flashed on the screen.

“Damn it! This is all your fault! We could’ve won if you two weren’t fucking bickering every second! Cass, you wimp, you weren’t even looking at the screen, damn it! Cowen, just, fuck you! Fuck you both!”

And yet, he turns on us in an instant. Ouch. Someone has a temper.

Cowen stood from his position on the couch and started punching the life out of a pillow from the floor. Ah, and there’s the anger management problems. Poor pillow. I’d hate to be in its place. All alone and hurt. Well, it is a pillow, so I guess it wouldn’t hurt that much. Wow, if I were a pillow, I could win a lot of fights, ‘cause I’d never get hurt. O, scratch that, someone could rip me in half. Not to mention I’d be an inanimate object. Darn the luck. Oh, wait, I’m rambling. Right? Where was I? Oh, yes, the poor pillow. Cowen is not a weak person. Very much the opposite. Oh, did Cowen just growl? I knew he was just a big immature animal in a human body. Time for me to calm down these two loonies.

“Calm down, guys. It’s just a game.” Yup, I could so be Gandhi. Never mind, just call me Delphi, that’s much better than a peace-loving guy.

Oops, wrong thing to say. They look pretty murderous. Those faces remind me of when they lost the Championship Soccer game last year against Greenville. Not good.

Okay, they are slowly creeping closer. Yeah, I’m feeling a little afraid right now. Oh, they look like angry bulls. Scratch afraid, I’m utterly terrified. Well, I guess this is my cue to run.

“CASSIDY!” I heard bellowed as I ran up the steps.

Damn, that was close.

‘THUMP’

And it would have been even closer if I hadn’t tripped over my own damn feet. Stupid feet. Ow. Stupid floor.

Oh no, I have fallen and I can’t get up. Woah, that sounded British.

And the two bulls are thundering up the steps towards me. I do not like the glint in their eyes. I’m having an evil genius flashback.

“No, please, have mercy on me,” I begged after I was suddenly slung over Cowen’s shoulder.

“Too late for that, Cass. We want revenge,” Alex stated with a highly disturbing evil cackle at the end. I might have imagined that cackle, though.

As we passed the living room, I caught a glimpse of Trey and his friends hanging out in there. I could hear their laughter when they heard my pleas. Ah, my last chance at survival!

“TREY! Help me! Please! I’ll do anything! Please save me from these evil apes!” I begged with my puppy dog eyes.

“Come on guys-,” Trey said to his buddies. Yes! Those puppy dog eyes work every time! Yay!

“Yes! My savior! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Now hurry,” I interrupted in pure joy.

“Let’s watch what sort of torture my sister dear goes through,” the now-not-so-favorite-brother-of-mine finished with a snicker after hearing my thanks.

“NOOOO!” I groaned in dramatics as I hung my head in defeat.

So, on we traveled through many rooms and countless staircases. I just kept wondering what sort of prank they would pull on me.

“Alex, take Cass for awhile. I can’t feel my shoulder,” Cowen said after a couple minutes. I was moved to the other ape after Alex complied.

The boys snickered as my eyes widened. Oh. No. He. Did. Not!

“Are you calling me fat?” I bit out with as much venom as I could manage.

Hehe, I love playing with my brothers. I smiled evilly as I saw Cowen’s eyes widen at his crucial mistake. And what a mistake it was. Never imply that a girl is fat. Never. Everyone had stopped walking at this point at this point, and I tried to move my head so I could glare at Cowen instead of Alex’s back.

Cowen looked like a deer caught in the headlights, while Trey and his friends looked on (from a safe distance) in sympathy. I could feel the rumble of Alex’s chest against my thighs as he silently chuckled. Son of a bitch. Oh, bad idea, Alex my dear. I secretly smirked as I worked my plan through my head. Perfect.

“Are you laughing at me, (last name)?” The boys know that I’m mad when I resort to last names. Oh, if they only knew that I was laughing on the inside.

“N-n-no!” Alex uncharacteristically stuttered weakly as he put me down cautiously.

Cowen and Alex started backing away, slowly, as I advanced on them.

They looked pretty frightened of the pissed off look I was giving them. I was still cracking up inside at them falling for my escape plan.

“I said, Cowen,” spitting out his name like it was road kill, “are you calling me fat?”

“No! No, o-of course not! You’re not fat! You’re thin! Really, really thin,” he tried to redeem himself, but I wasn’t done yet.

My face went from viciously angry (or what I hoped was viciously angry) to devastated and lost in seconds. This was so much fun!

“So…you’re accusing me of being anorexic?” I said with false tears in my eyes. Well, I knew they were fake.

I really wanted to laugh when I saw Cowen’s face. Trey and the boys stopped laughing when they saw me, too. You see, I don’t cry. Really, the last time I cried was when some bully stole my lunchbox in preschool. I didn’t even cry when my dad left. Also, my brothers aren’t good with girls crying. In preschool, Cowen beat up the bully and then gave me an awkward pat on the back as I sobbed. I mean, come one, it was a special edition Mulan lunchbox. How could I not cry? Man, that girl kicked ass. Nowadays, my brothers get a crying girl whenever they break up with their girlfriends. Their faces are pretty hilarious when the girl starts crying, though. So, it was a pretty big thing that my eyes were watery. I almost felt bad for tricking all of them. Almost.

“N-no, Cassie girl. Y-you don’t h-have an eating d-d-disorder,” I heard Cowen stutter as I hung my head in ‘defeat’ once again.

“T-then w-w-why w-would y-you say s-something like t-that?” I cried in ‘agony.’

Cowen looked incredibly guilty at this point and I was at the staircase, so I decided my revenge was over.

I put a cheery smile on my face and chuckled a little at their puzzled and confused looks.

“Well, that’s teach you not to even try getting revenge on me! And by the way, I know I’m not fat. How could someone as incredibly good-looking as myself be fat,” I said in my most snobby and conceited tone, although my beaming face betrayed my words.

The looks on their faces were priceless. Oh, sweet revenge.

Kudos on the acting Cassie, I thought to myself as I skipped down the staircase away from the boys’ shocked faces.

My victory was short lived, however, as I found myself being mercilessly tickled on the living room floor moments later.

Bugger.