“I love you,” Devon said in a quite whisper. He didn’t hear her though. He was already asleep. She knew this, but felt that if the words left her mind, it would feel more real. But, it didn’t. She was still not his girlfriend; she was still the other woman.

And as she lay there, rehashing the night they spent together, she wondered why she kept coming back to him. Was it the way he stared into her eyes when he kissed her? Or maybe the fact that when he said he needed her, with his deep, smooth voice, she believed it? Then again, it could be her weakness that allows her to be seduced into the bed of a married man. Either way, this is where she was. In love with a man who had told her over and over again that he would leave his wife and kids for her. But, tomorrow morning, it would be her he was leaving.

She turned over to look at him. He slept on his back. She watched his bare chest move up and down as he calmly took breaths. Her fingers began to trace a trail from the bottom of his hairy chin to the middle of his chest. She rested her palms on his chiseled chest and allowed her thoughts to linger once more.

This time, however, to a happier thought. When they first met. She was just starting her internship at Westside Quarterly, his magazine company. She was just out of college and green as a new dollar bill. But, when she walked into the meeting room on her first day, he greeted her and comforted her. She remembered their first conversation:

“Hi there,” he said as he smiled and held out his hand to greet her, “I’m Mitch.”

“Hi, I’m Devon,” she said, smiling back. He was gorgeous: beautiful green eyes, short dark hair, a strong jaw line that was complemented with a nicely trimmed beard, and a deep, sexy voice that had her the moment he opened his mouth. He was dressed in jeans and a button up shirt, that wasn’t buttoned up, with a white tee underneath. He was so casual, yet so distinguished.

“You’re the new intern, right?” He asked as he continued to walk where he was going.

“Yes, and I hope it’s worth it.” She said trying hard not to stare at his beautiful face. “Do you know anything about the editor? Is he mean? Does he chew interns up and spit them out?”

“Well, I’m sure he’s a great guy. And, I’m pretty sure he isn’t a cannibal?” He said with a wink. “Welcome to the magazine. See you later.”

It was a quick encounter. And, she hadn’t even realized he was the editor the way he was dressed. It wasn’t until the meeting began, and he came out to introduce himself to the rest of the staff did she find out. She was kind of embarrassed now, and she sat through the whole meeting trying to think of a way to apologize for what she had said earlier.

“I’m sorry about the,” Mitch interrupted her.

“It’s fine,” he said with a smile. “Most people want to know what kind of boss they have. I hope the meeting shed some light on what kind I am.”

“Yes, it did,” she began, “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

“Good, then get to work,” he said playfully and handed the stories he wanted her to work on.

Now, back to this night, she realized how much she adored him. He stirred in his sleep and moved his hand to hers. His touch sent a chill down her spine. And, at that moment she wanted to freeze her life and never move again. It was at these times when she wished she had the guts to make him choice her. She stared up at him. And again, her thoughts went to another time in their relationship.

“This is my wife, Lily,” he said pulling his wife into his arms. “And my boys, Dylan and Chris.” Devon stood there as he introduced her to his family. They were a cute couple, in public. And as Devon shook their hands and smiled, she couldn’t help but remember the things he would say about Lily when they weren’t together. He would talk about how cold she was; how she wouldn’t satisfy him anymore; how she would nag him about everything and make him feel uncomfortable in his own home. Then, he would tell her:

“This is why I need you. You make me feel like a man. You make me happy”

And Devon would ask, “Then, why don’t you just leave her.”

“It’s not that simple, Dev, we have kids. I need to be there for my kids.” And he would kiss her passionately on her lips, hold her close, and make her feel like she was the only one he needed.

Until nighttime, after they had made love, and spent the whole night together. Like tonight. When she would ask him not to go home tomorrow and he would kiss her and say he had to.

“I love you,” Devon said, a little louder this time. But, still it didn’t reach his ears. She was desperately in love with him.

She slid up in the bed a little to reach his face. As she came closer, her body rubbing his, she took a deep breath, and kissed him. Not a soft kiss, but one that would hopefully wake him. She pressed her lips hard onto his, and slowly began climbing up onto him. He began to wake up. His arms wrapped around her body, and he opened his eyes. She stared at him.

“Hey mister,” she said as she pulled away from the kiss.

“Hey,” he mumbled, “what’s up?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to kiss you.” She said and went in for another kiss.

He kissed her back and rubbed his hands on her back. “And you just had to wake me up, huh?” He asked playfully when she puller back.

“Yep,” she sat up on him. “Want to go again?”

He smiled. “You’re a devil. You know I have to pitch the new magazine ideas in the morning.” He began to roll over, and she slid from on top of him. They were face to face.

“I have to be there too, you know.” She shot back.

“Well, we can’t have two tired people trying to pitch an idea, can we?” He said as me moved his hands up and down the side of her body. She was curvy, and he always commented on how it made him crazy.

“I guess not.” She said.

He looked past her at the clock. It was 6 a.m. “Did you just wake up?”

She hadn’t she had been up all night thinking. “Yeah, I did.”

“Well, I guess I should get up, then.” He kissed her, and rolled out of bed to the shower.

Devon lay there thinking about her last thoughts, and decided to be bold. She got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. She walked to the shower and tapped on the door. He popped his head out.

“I love you, Mitch.” She said and stepped in the shower. He didn’t say anything back. So, she kissed him. And, when she pulled back she looked into his eyes. They were blank. No emotion, no love, no nothing. “You don’t love me, do you?” She swallowed, she was about to cry.

“Dev, we’ve gone through this. I care about you.”

“But, you don’t love me,” her voice was breaking.

“Dev, I need to get ready,” he said, “Let’s talk about this later, okay.” He noticed the tears forming in her eyes. He pulled her in for a kiss, but she pulled away.

“No, we don’t have to talk about it. I get it.” She said, stepped out of the shower, closed the door, and walked out of the bathroom.

“Dev, wait,” he called after her. He stepped out of the shower, put a towel around himself, and went after her. She hadn’t gone far. She was sitting on the bed.

He walked over to her. She was crying. “I can’t love you the way you want me to.”

“Then, why are we here? Why are we doing this?” She asked through her tears.

He looked at her. He didn’t know. He was sad at home, and she made him happy. But, he still loved his family. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know,” she raised her voice. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“Don’t get angry, please—“

“Don’t get angry, screw you, Mitch. SCREW YOU!!!”

And with that she grabbed her clothes and shoes, and walked out of the hotel room. But, she closed the door, she said, “And you know what—I QUIT!”

The door slammed. He was left to himself. He went back to finish getting ready. He was sorry that he had hurt her, but she had to have known that he wasn’t going to leave his family. He had thought about it, but it was too hard. He just couldn’t do it.

He decided that he would call her after the presentation. He did really care about her, he just couldn’t tell her that he loved her.

He checked out of the hotel, went down the stairwell to the level in the parking structure he had parked, and walked over to his car.

Ther she was, sitting on the hood. He was surprised to see her there. But, a little relieved. He wanted to say sorry for hurting her. He walked over to her and saw that she was still crying.

“I’m sorry, I ddin’t mean to hurt you like that,” he said as he brushed her tears away.

“I know you don’t,” she began. “I know you love your boys. I wouldn’t want you to leave them.”

“So, you forgive me? You’re going to really quit are you?” he asked as he leaned in to kiss her. She smiled at him. “Good, ‘cause I need you today.”

“You don’t believe I’ll leave you do you?” She pulled away from him. He jerked his head back at her change of mood and tone.

“What do you mean? I thought you said you weren’t mad.”

“I didn’t say that. I just smiled.”

“Well, no I don’t think you’ll leave me,” He said as he looked into her eyes, “I know we care about each other. I know I care about you.”

“Then, love me. Leave her” She was getting upset again.

“You know I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. You can get a divorce, get sole custody, I love your boys. I don’t mind if bring them with us.” She was desperate. She wanted him to love her.

He stayed calm amidst her emotional outburst. “I could do that, but that would confuse them,. They love their mom. I couldn’t take her kids away from her like that.”

She looked at him when he said that. Looked right into his eyes. He smiled at her, brushed her hair behind her ear, and kissed her on her cheek. “I know you want us to be together. But not right now. Maybe when my boys are a little older, so they’ll understand.”

And there it was, he had said it again. He was going to leave her. But, Devon knew that would never happen. Why did he always reel her in like that? She had to stop being so easily led. She desered more than being a married man’s booty call.

“I can’t wait that long.” She said, and her eyes swelled up. She was crying again. “I can’t keep waiting, Mitch.” And as she finished her sentence, she stepped back from him.

“Dev, I’m trying here. I’m—“ he looked down at her hand. “Wait, Dev, wait.”

She pulled the trigger as he reached his hand out to stop her, but she had pulled the trigger. The first bullet went through his hand. And as she watched him scream out in pain, she fired the second, third, and fourth shot. The last one went in his chest.

“I ca-can-can’t wa-wa-wait an-an-anymore,” she said through tears. She knelt down beside him. “I’m so-so-so-sorry!” And, she kissed his forehead. His eyes were glassy tears streaked down his face.

“Dev, why” he asked crying, pleading. “I love you.”

She stood over him, and as he told her he loved her she said, “I-I-I love yo-yo-you too!”

“Help me, don’t let me die, I’m sorry. I’ll leave her,” he mumbled as he began coughing up blood. He was clutching his chest. Blood was everywhere.

Devon just stood there. He looked at her, and took his last breath. Still, she stood there.

Then, she knelt beside his dead body. She realized what she had done, and began sobbing uncontrollably. She had messed up. She only wanted to scare him. But, now he was dead. She would never love like that again. So strongly, so foolishly. And in her 21 years of life, she truly believed that he she had found the one she was meant to be with forever.

She had one more bullet left. And after thinking for a while, she opened her mouth, placed the gun inside, and pulled the trigger.