"Bonsoir, sexy."

Dustin squinted up from his lengthy novel (The Occult for Dummies) at the one person on God's green earth that he least wanted to see at that moment. "Jethro," he glared hotly and then went back to his book, but not before pointing out- "I'm fairly certain that you meant to say "bonjour" instead of "bonsoir", since it's only 7:45 in the morning. And don't call me sexy."

Jethro chuckled, shaking his head. "Ah, but of course, my mistake." He twirled some of his green and purple hair around his index finger.

A moment passed in absolute silence. Dustin sat reading, or trying to read, anyway. It was an odd occurrence for Jethro so be quiet, so eventually Dustin's curiosity piqued, and he looked up. Jethro had a wide grin on his face that pissed Dustin off. And that's just what Dustin said. "You're pissing me off."

Jethro only grinned wider. "You like Justin, don't you?"

FLOP.

That was the sound of Dustin's book falling down onto the soft front lawn of their school.

Jethro laughed, high and hyena-like.

Dustin spluttered a bit before regaining his composure. There was a certain art to the way Dustin dealt with Jethro's nonsense. Right now, he needed to make a witty comment in response and walk away. No yelling or denying, or else Jethro would simply laugh even more and make a crude remark.

"Of course I like Justin. He's my friend after all," Dustin picked his book up of the grass and stood up gracefully. "You'd be able to tell platonic love when you saw it if you had any friends of your own." He had started walking away with his back to Jethro at this point.

"Then why are you blushing?" Jethro cooed.

Dustin stopped again, automatically touching his face. And to his utter horror, his face was hot. He panicked. He whirled around and fell back on his usual method of operation. Deny, deny, deny. "I am not fucking blushing, you bastard." He winced as soon as it came out of his mouth. He knew what came next; Jethro's crude remark.

Jethro took a deep breath, placed his hands on either side of his mouth, and shouted. "DUSTIN TELLERMAN WANTS TO FUCK JUSTIN ARGANO'S BRAINS OUT!"

Dustin's face went white and contorted in horror as some of the other students who happened to be nearby looked over at them. He quickly smacked Jethro's hands away from his mouth. "What the fuck are you doing, dipshit?!"

"Spreading the news." Jethro smirked, amused by the absolutely frightened look on Dustin's face.

"You better freaking stop that, or I'll-"

"Or you'll what? Get your big beefy boyfriend to come to your rescue?"

Dustin's first instinct was to point out that Justin wouldn't hurt a fly, but opted instead for- "He's not my boyfriend."

"Who's not your boyfriend?" Jethro asked innocently.

"You know who! Justin!" Dustin screeched. He hated this, getting so worked up over Jethro's stupid comment. He wanted to scream, or hit Jethro over the head with a blunt object. Or both.

"What's that?" Jethro cupped his ear as if he couldn't hear. "You admit that JUSTIN'S YOUR LOVELY LITTLE SNUGGLE MUFFIN?!"

"No!" Dustin yelled, almost punching on Jethro right in the nose.

"I'm who's lovely snuggle muffin?"

Dustin made a shocked gurgling sound in his throat and nearly had a heart attack when he noticed Justin suddenly standing next to him. Jethro grinned evilly at the opportunities that just sprang up. But before a word was spoken, Dustin grasped Jethro's bicep and started to drag him away- somewhere- anywhere not occupied by Justin.

"Wait, Dustin, where're you-?" Justin asked. Dustin looked over his shoulder and felt a momentary pang of guilt over the kicked-puppy expression. He quickly swallowed back the feeling and said, "Bathroom! Be right back!"

"With Jethro?" he heard Justin say faintly before he turned a corner.

Half a second passed and then Jethro was slammed up against the closest set of lockers. Jethro winced, but quickly regained his usual annoying smirk. "I always knew you liked it rough..."

"What. The. FUCK." Dustin was pissed. No, scratch that, he was outraged. Jethro just kept on smiling. "What the hell was that? Why did you say that?" Dustin was hyperventilating. He backed off momentarily, letting go of Jethro's shirt that read "Seme: It's lonely at the top".

After Dustin's breathing slowed to normal, Jethro said, "That's cute."

"What's cute?!" Dustin glared ferociously.

"Calm down." Jethro raised his arms in defense. "You're overreacting."

"I am not overreacting!"

"Shh," Jethro pressed a finger to Dustin's lips, effectively shocking him into silence. "Now, as I was saying. That's cute how you spazz out over something as trivial as a crush."

Dustin looked like his wanted to say something, but Jethro pushed his finger harder against his lips.

"You can't deny this, Dusty. I have a six sense for this kind of thing," Jethro stated proudly, pulling his hand away from Dustin's face to spin in a circle randomly.

"I don't have a crush," Dustin grumbled.

"Of course you don't." Jethro sighed, shaking his head.

They stared at each other for a few minutes. Dustin took a deep breath to calm himself. He felt ashamed. He never went overboard like this. Finally, he looked up and asked something that had been nagging at him. "Okay. Say I do have a... a... a crush on Justin- which I don't! But say I do."

Jethro raised an eyebrow curiously. "Yes?"

"I thought you had... a crush... on me? Isn't that why you keep attempting phone sex with me?" Dustin couldn't believe it- he was blushing again. He never blushed.

Jethro laughed- loud and shrill. He laughed so much that he had to fall back on the lockers to hold himself up. Dustin was getting angry again, but he bit the inside of his lip to stop any remarks he might have. "Oh! Oh!" Jethro stood upright eventually and wiped away some tears in his eyes. Dustin shrugged away from him when he tried to stroke his cheek.

"Just fucking answer me!" Dustin hissed.

"You thought- haha- you thought that I would get mad because- hahaha- because I was jealous of your feelings?" Jethro managed to say between giggles. Dustin nodded silently. Jethro sighed mockingly. "Oh, baby doll." Dustin glared. "I don't have a crush on you. I just want to screw your tight ass, that's all." Dustin's face, within a matter of seconds, turned from red to white to an odd shade of green.

"Uh..."

They both jumped as the bell rang for first period. Jethro was suddenly right in front of Dustin and holding his face with both of his hands. "Don't worry." He swooped down and kissed Dustin square on the lips. "Your secret's safe with me." Jethro skipped away before Dustin could react.

"Wh-What secret?!" Dustin yelled, but Jethro was already gone. He rubbed at his mouth angrily and stomped off to class.