I Who Once was Evil

A/N-First attempt at writing on this site. Please read and review. Thanks for your time. Enjoy!!

Evil. The word that destroys a life. The word that justifies a death. Well, at least mine. I always thought that I was good. I helped THORN. I gave up all hope at a future to save the nation. I gave up my freedom.

I won’t lie; I expected some kind of reward for my deed. I gave up true love to fight for the cause. Yet now that I’m here, I wonder how what I did helped Sancara. The nation’s in ruins, so many people have died in the chaos.

Then there’s THORN. They didn’t lift a finger to help me. I was the puppet, the fall guy. I was stupid. I became more brain washed then the people of the nation.

THORN told me to do this for the greater good. What was the greater good that I fought for?

Not This.

Destroyed countryside?

Not this.

People with malnourished bodies and wild eyes, to crazed with injustice to see what’s right in front of them?

Not this.

A new pig of a ruler on the throne, worse then ever before?

Not this.

They scream at me. Calling me a witch, a betrayer, a seductress. I don’t deny it. I was, and I am now as well, I suppose. Still, if I could go back, would I, really? Would I forgo the experience of meeting all those people, seeing and learning all that I did? Never. Maybe I can relive it one more time, just once more, for the sake of my sanity.

Does it really matter though? My sanity, that is. I won’t be here much longer. The only reason I’m still alive is because the mob around the gallows won’t let all of the gentry through to get prime seats.

Today truly is a lovely day to die though. Dark and dismal, the sky a purple like shade of gray, the trees without leaves for weeks and a rich brown mud on the ground from the recent rain. The mud is almost a red in color, truly fitting. My death and all those others’ deaths were and will be in cold blood; just like the cold, red mud that coats the ground. Most likely to remain for months; through a winter of executions. The deaths of all that were known friends or allies of mine.

The truly sad thing is all those that I was closest too aren’t here. They are probably too afraid to show their faces. I wouldn’t blame them though. They don’t want to die. They will soon enough, unless they leave. Most of them won’t leave Sancara. They love it far too much.

The one person that I wish was here the most however, can not be, because I killed him. It was my most important duty. My most glorious sacrifice. My proudest moment, but I wanted and still want none of it. I had no choice.

The one thing that I can say for sure, after living these 18 years, is that life isn’t some kind of fairy tale and it never will be.

Was I truly evil? I’m I truly evil? Maybe in the future they will say that I was evil, but I would like to think that after this is all over, that I was only once truly evil. After that, I never let the power, the fame, the standing, blind me. I used to be on top, envied by every woman in the nation. Hell, probably some men too. He would have thought that to be funny if he could hear me, he was the only one who ever really listened to what I thought. I wish that everyone could hear me and listen, but they never did.

I didn’t say a thing at my trial. They charged me with treason, and murder. I was guilty of both. What was the point of testifying? The only thing that bothered me about it was that I was only charged with the death of the king. Did all the others that the revolution killed not matter? Did my upset of the government not kill thousands? No one appears to care, but there is nothing I can do now.

I was once told by a truly brilliant person that it is not how many people you are remembered by that matters, but what you are remembered for. I ‘m afraid that I won’t be remembered for much more then single handedly destroying Sancara.

I was a slave.

I was the king’s top dancer

I was evil.

I am Evelyn.

I am a witch.

And….

Soon….

I am going to be dead.

But until then, this is my story.